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Oral sex guys and girls

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strikerrose

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2017
Messages
1


I am currently in a relationship where the sex has gotten a little "weird". For a long time, I thought we had a pretty good sex life - but fairly recently she has pointed out that I'm selfish.


For a long time, she would go down on me maybe 5-6 times a week. Admittedly, for a long time, I went down on her maybe only twice a month.
About 2 months ago, we had a large fight about this and she said how unfair it was. I agreed - and I thought we had improved the situation.
She was still going down on me maybe 5-6 times a week - and I was going down on her maybe 3 times a week. I understand that's not even - but there in lies the problem - given all that I do and everything about our relationship, I think it evens out in other ways. I pay the mortgage, I make most of the money - and as awesome as she is I strongly feel like I make up for that discrepancy in other ways.
But will I always have this battle?
Even if I contribute more in other areas, will she always find the unfairness in that department? I genuinely don't think I'm prepared for a relationship where it's even in that department -maybe I'm just a selfish jerk? What are your guy's experiences? Is oral sex even? Does it need to be?
 
IMO what you do with regards to the mortgage has nothing to do with your sex life. I'm sure she could make similar arguments.

If she goes down on you, you should generally be going down on her as a matter of course/the natural progression of things.

If not, why not? And she is going to ponder that exact question, probably leading to feelings of inadequacy.
 
I find it difficult to understand why a normal part of a sexual relationship, i.e. going down on your partner should be considered a chore. And like Trance alluded to, it's not a competition. ie mortgage = 1 bj up, cleaning the flat = 1 bj down. I don't think you should be counting bro. You might benefit from couples counselling as to why you've got an unusual view of this part of your relationship.
 
I wonder how you'd feel if she started saying stuff like, I do most of the cooking/cleaning so I'm gonna pull back on the oral sex. I don't think you'd like that very much. Nobody would. Sex should not be used as currency. That doesn't lead anywhere good.

Why is there such a discrepancy in the first place?
 
OP you are selfish and its been that way for time

if u pay mortgage and she owes you sexual favours because of that isnt that kind of like implying she is a hooker?
 
Tranced said:
IMO what you do with regards to the mortgage has nothing to do with your sex life. I'm sure she could make similar arguments.

If she goes down on you, you should generally be going down on her as a matter of course/the natural progression of things.

If not, why not? And she is going to ponder that exact question, probably leading to feelings of inadequacy.
Click to expand...

Trance pretty much says it all. If going down on your girl makes her happy then get your ass down there.
 
strikerrose said:


I am currently in a relationship where the sex has gotten a little "weird". For a long time, I thought we had a pretty good sex life - but fairly recently she has pointed out that I'm selfish.


For a long time, she would go down on me maybe 5-6 times a week. Admittedly, for a long time, I went down on her maybe only twice a month.
About 2 months ago, we had a large fight about this and she said how unfair it was. I agreed - and I thought we had improved the situation.
She was still going down on me maybe 5-6 times a week - and I was going down on her maybe 3 times a week. I understand that's not even - but there in lies the problem - given all that I do and everything about our relationship, I think it evens out in other ways. I pay the mortgage, I make most of the money - and as awesome as she is I strongly feel like I make up for that discrepancy in other ways.
But will I always have this battle?
Even if I contribute more in other areas, will she always find the unfairness in that department? I genuinely don't think I'm prepared for a relationship where it's even in that department -maybe I'm just a selfish jerk? What are your guy's experiences? Is oral sex even? Does it need to be?
Click to expand...


The moment you have the mind frame of what I'm getting out of this realtionship, there's an issue in the realtionship. Is it only this department your having issues? Also because you said I pay the bills etc it evens out the unfairness I mean your looking at it like that too?
 
Lmfao, this guy needs some serious help if he relates paying the mortgage and making more money than his gf to their issues in the bedroom. Unless you're working 70 hours a week and literally can't move when you get home because of exhaustion, you should shove your face between her legs and make her happy imho.
 
Yeah this sounds like it's more than just about going down. There isn't any need to be counting like that and makin it feel like a chore like some said above. In a healthy relationship you're ganna wanna do those things for her, even if you don't expect anything in return. Maybe there is a deeper issue here that is rubbing off on the physical stuff.
 
Don't ever cheat because it will always cause more problem

augustaB said:
Why don't you just go to a hooker? This meaaage blew my mind because if I truly love ur partner u would never hire a hooker due to lack of oral sex it sounds to me that u have issues with ur partner and yourself both not feeling appreciated and that should be addressed not by leaving the relationship but by talking it
Out good luck
Click to expand...
 
Don't be so selfish man. The girl I've been with for a year won't even go down on me. Yeah it...sucks... but due to fucked up shit that happened when she was a kid it's just not something that she will do. I still go down on her 4-5 times a week. Like everyone else is saying its not a currency or a score you need to keep track of... that's your lady, if you care about her make her happy.

To be fair though I'm a little bias cause I fuckin love to eat pussy %)
 
If a girlfriend has a problem 'going down' because of things that happened in the past...Making her feel humiliated when doing a BJ..maybe a solution to that :

The boyfriend or husband tied up...locked up....totally exposed to the good will of the female person....this way she is in control of everything...she can tease him....start slowly with hands...
And if she gets comfortable being in the dominant position instead of being the submissive of the 2...she can start cautiously with her tongue and go on from there
She has the control and can stop if it's too much...

Just try it :)
 
Michael1706 said:
If a girlfriend has a problem 'going down' because of things that happened in the past...Making her feel humiliated when doing a BJ..maybe a solution to that :

The boyfriend or husband tied up...locked up....totally exposed to the good will of the female person....this way she is in control of everything...she can tease him....start slowly with hands...
And if she gets comfortable being in the dominant position instead of being the submissive of the 2...she can start cautiously with her tongue and go on from there
She has the control and can stop if it's too much...

Just try it :)
Click to expand...

That is some genius level shit you're throwing down. I think Ima try that just because it sounds kind of fun.
 
I wouldn't go into a relationship with a damaged girl. I don't want a relationship where I have to tip toe because something happened to her.
 
Sex and financials can`t (and should not) go hand in hand. It`s the whole thing of "I work my ass of at work, so that she can stay at home and cook and watch the kids". Noone ever sees it as "I can go to work, cause she is home taking care of everything"..and not getting paid a dime for it. So lets not go there.

The debate about who is going down on who how many times you properly eat out a girl per week is up entirely to them. If you are just lazy, she will become "lazy" as well and you will have no "Hey but u used to ..." card to draw. Just treat her, like you wish to be treated aka lead by example ;)

My 2 cents...

TAH
 
strikerrose said:


I am currently in a relationship where the sex has gotten a little "weird". For a long time, I thought we had a pretty good sex life - but fairly recently she has pointed out that I'm selfish.


For a long time, she would go down on me maybe 5-6 times a week. Admittedly, for a long time, I went down on her maybe only twice a month.
About 2 months ago, we had a large fight about this and she said how unfair it was. I agreed - and I thought we had improved the situation.
She was still going down on me maybe 5-6 times a week - and I was going down on her maybe 3 times a week. I understand that's not even - but there in lies the problem - given all that I do and everything about our relationship, I think it evens out in other ways. I pay the mortgage, I make most of the money - and as awesome as she is I strongly feel like I make up for that discrepancy in other ways.
But will I always have this battle?
Even if I contribute more in other areas, will she always find the unfairness in that department? I genuinely don't think I'm prepared for a relationship where it's even in that department -maybe I'm just a selfish jerk? What are your guy's experiences? Is oral sex even? Does it need to be?
Click to expand...

She's going down on you on a daily basis just about. Do whatever it takes to keep that girl! And all she asks is that you reciprocate? Get in there son!
And worship that ass a little while you're there.
 
Are you for fuckin real OP?

Having said that, I think blow jobs are overrated - I'd much rather go down on a girl while she wanks me off...
 
I love going down on my girl, it's great, you get to make her feel really good and then when it's time for the main event it's better for everyone. Plus vaginas are pretty and you get to to learn how they work better when you're all up in there with your face. I go down on her most times, pretty much I don't only when she's like, let's go right now, fuck that.

I think blow jobs are fine, I mean I'd take a blow job over no sex, but sex is better. I don't really seek out blow jobs, I'd rather save it for what I'm really going for anyway.

I think that, yeah, you're kinda being a selfish jerk about this. If you love her, you should want to make her feel good. It shouldn't be about what you want, but about what she wants. If you both feel that way about each other (and it sounds like she does about you), then you both get what you want, by giving.
 
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