Opiate withdrawal while partner uses

[Opium&Confused]

Hello all, I am new to posting here, although I read the forums all the time, especially during opiate withdrawal. I've been wanting to post but have felt too shy to do so. I truly want advice.

I am in a domestic relationship with my partner. We are both heroin addicts. As heroin tends to do, it has ruined my life in the past year. Put me in jail for 20 days, and cost me my amazing job. My depression this year has been overwhelming. My boyfriend and I on and off quit. He controls when we start/stop, and many times, like presently, he has chosen for me to stop but not for him. I am going through the sickness cold turkey, and it's agonizing for me that he is still using in front of me and won't let me use. I feel like a pathetic crybaby but the addict inside me is screaming. Freaking kills me. He also doesn't have any sympathy for my sickness. He usually obtains suboxone and xanax for when he/we quits, which helps immensely IMO.
He rubs using in my face. He's always nodding off standing up. I hate him right now. Can't stand to look at him. He makes fun of me and my being sick, says it's all in my head. Ugh!!!! Says I'm faking my cold sweats and leg and back pain and vomit and diarrhea and anxiety attacks and sleeplessness. It makes me want to cry.
When he does quit, he stays on suboxone and is mean and shows no affection and has no sex drive. On heroin he has no sex drive but shows affection. It's preferable sadly. Our sex life, which used to be so amazing, is nonexistent.
I guess I just needed to vent, and to receive advice. I am in no financial position to leave, nor support my own habit. When I had a job we both contributed. love him very much but hate this situation and how much hatred I feel towards him right now.

 

[Relapz]

This may not be what you want to hear, but you need to leave him, immediately. If you truly want to stop the cycle of opiate addiction being in a relationship with someone you have used with and, who continues to use himself, will make sobriety virtually impossible.

By any and all means necessary, you need to get out of this relationship if you want freedom. It seems he's selfish and self absorbed, which most addicts are, but the way you put it it seems even worse than that.

If he cannot have empathy for putting you through withdrawals when he knows damn well what it's like, hes an asshole. Sorry to be blunt, but it is the truth.

You deserve better. you deserve life. I am a heroin addict as well, and on suboxone and even with that I find it no way to live.

I hope you the best but your best option may be to go into rehab if you have insurance.

I'm sorry for this tough time, but it will pass.

Hang in there, do what you can, if you can fight thru the withdrawals, make some money and laugh in his face as you slam the door closed on him.

Sorry, I'm pretty harsh, but you need to chose life, and he isn't helping you do so.

Best of luck I know the pain all too well.

 

[gmlifer]

What he is doing to you is bullshit. Torture. Go back to your parents, gonlive with friends. Do something to get away from this jackass immediately.

 

[T. Calderone]

This guy knows that you are suffering when you go through withdrawals because he uses meds when he's in that situation. It seems your partner gets to call all the shots but a partner is supposed to have your back. Stand up for yourself until you can find another job. You seem emotionally beaten down and you can't continue like this. Have you thought about counseling? If not couples, for yourself.
(moving to SLR)

 

[pofacedhoe]

so how will you get your job back strung out living with him cos if you stay with him will you ever get off it?

he's controlling and if anything making it impossible for you to quit

he needs to go

 

[gmlifer]

Any updates here?

 

[Wiegand]

Please leave this dude, what the hell are you doing...??? Sorry you have to go through that kind of stuff, period.. He's a piece of shit.