Why would you do that if you didn't have to?! I sometimes like to prove points to friends, family and clinicians at the expense of my own wellbeing and happiness, but I tend to draw a line in the sand as to how much pain I'm willing to endure. I've been really pissed off at Methadone Clinics in the past, but never pissed off enough for me to give them the finger and make a badass exit. I'm not saying this was you, but I can only assume that there was some kind of catalyst.
Unfortunately, your pupils are dilated (Mydriasis) due to your abrupt cessation of Buprenorphine. Buprenorphine is a very potent Opioid, even if it is only a partial agonist. It's not to be fucked with and the withdrawal is known to be potentially interminable, even in comparison to Methadone. I normally am not in the business of disclaimers, but I feel you should pursue getting back involved with your Bupe provider while you still can. Begin a normal taper. You are likely to return to chronic Opioid use at the rate you're going, which would nullify whatever progress you've made thus far.
The only practical means of shrinking your pupis (Miosis) at present is going to be through administration of Opioids. Loperamide (Immodium) will have this effect, as it is itself a highly potent Opioid relative of Fentanyl, but I would highly advise against using it in any dosage higher than what is needed to control Diarrhea. Loperamide is well known for its ability to induce severe tolerance disproportionate to what users would typically expect.
Please try to get back in touch with your provider. You are just starting to experience the bullshit my friend. It's going to get significantly worse. Dilated puils are going to be the least of your concerns a week from now, when your supervisor thinks you're suffering from Ebola, assumes you're a drug addict and fires you. You need to make smarter decisions man, I'm sorry. I really don't want to be an asshole, but this is just bad. You have a job and a life to worry about.
Once you endure a week or two of insomnia (literally no sleep), shit is going to get real for you. I can't stress enough how badly this can backfire upon you OP. I'm not looking down on you or being judgmental. This is empathy.
