New member long time user.
Currently on who knows how many attempts to get clean off of heroin and pills.
I spent years on pain meds for a screwed up spine and then when dr.s started cutting me off I went to the street for a few years for oxys and morphine until the streets started drying up and I eventually was able to convince myself , in a fit of some kind of spontaneity to give heroin a tee tiny try. And that was that, the end of the road. No more figuring it's ok to use drugs as long as I'm not on heroin, no more walking a line to keep withdrawals managable. You cross all lines with heroin. It gives your opiate receptors a complete constant rush, it maxes the receptors out and any sense of regulation or tolerance is gone in an instant. It burns you're brain and body out immediately and nothing but heroin will refill you.
All these years of trying to get ahold of my pain pill addiction before it became a problem and now I've added heroin to it..
Seems hopeless if instead of getting off pills you got on heroin but here I am an I know that I have at least never been so sick of drugs. I know I've never hated/loved a drug as much as h. The withdrawals change you. And I believe knowing you can be in an bad state of relapse but not lose hope, that it's sometimes part of the process and with that on your mind you continue to fight and as long as you know to keep trying everytime you will get stronger and better.
So I know I'll get off h but think it will be harder to get off the pills which make getting off the h easier
First step is to get completely off the heroin while still using the pills as needed. The only way I have had any success is to taper with pills and I think morphine is the easiest opiate to use responsibly as maintenance for withdrawals besides maybe bupe or methadone, but I'm worse about slipping up on methadone I find I it has a much stronger interaction and I can't resist the high when I take methadone with some pills. This time im using Subutex on weekends to break the tolerance to the morphine. It seems to work on withdrawal effects but does nothing for cravings.
I work and basically unable to get into a facility or a rehab. Also I don't like the facilities try to make it seem like you will die if you slip up, which is possible but unlikely.
What I'm learning is most likely I will relapse over and over until I learn the lessons and condition myself to not want to relapse.
I'm going weeks in between relapses now and only slip a few days at a time instead of months or weeks. I'm focused on my progress and I get more and more sick of myself everytime I slip up and use. I know I'm ready to quit.
Currently on who knows how many attempts to get clean off of heroin and pills.
I spent years on pain meds for a screwed up spine and then when dr.s started cutting me off I went to the street for a few years for oxys and morphine until the streets started drying up and I eventually was able to convince myself , in a fit of some kind of spontaneity to give heroin a tee tiny try. And that was that, the end of the road. No more figuring it's ok to use drugs as long as I'm not on heroin, no more walking a line to keep withdrawals managable. You cross all lines with heroin. It gives your opiate receptors a complete constant rush, it maxes the receptors out and any sense of regulation or tolerance is gone in an instant. It burns you're brain and body out immediately and nothing but heroin will refill you.
All these years of trying to get ahold of my pain pill addiction before it became a problem and now I've added heroin to it..
Seems hopeless if instead of getting off pills you got on heroin but here I am an I know that I have at least never been so sick of drugs. I know I've never hated/loved a drug as much as h. The withdrawals change you. And I believe knowing you can be in an bad state of relapse but not lose hope, that it's sometimes part of the process and with that on your mind you continue to fight and as long as you know to keep trying everytime you will get stronger and better.
So I know I'll get off h but think it will be harder to get off the pills which make getting off the h easier
First step is to get completely off the heroin while still using the pills as needed. The only way I have had any success is to taper with pills and I think morphine is the easiest opiate to use responsibly as maintenance for withdrawals besides maybe bupe or methadone, but I'm worse about slipping up on methadone I find I it has a much stronger interaction and I can't resist the high when I take methadone with some pills. This time im using Subutex on weekends to break the tolerance to the morphine. It seems to work on withdrawal effects but does nothing for cravings.
I work and basically unable to get into a facility or a rehab. Also I don't like the facilities try to make it seem like you will die if you slip up, which is possible but unlikely.
What I'm learning is most likely I will relapse over and over until I learn the lessons and condition myself to not want to relapse.
I'm going weeks in between relapses now and only slip a few days at a time instead of months or weeks. I'm focused on my progress and I get more and more sick of myself everytime I slip up and use. I know I'm ready to quit.
♡☺.