LemonadeShower
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2016
- Messages
- 12
So, as I posted before, my doctor prescribed me Antabuse because I have drinking issues. I'm one of those that can't have just one. And was drinking alone the last 2-3 years. Most of the time spirits and binge drinking. I had erratic behaviour, problems with friends and family and even managed to cut my chin (leaving a big scar) in a black out episode. I've passed out a lot while drinking with friends, become violent while drinking with them. Friends wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore because of my binge drinking (I would black out too soon, they had to worry about me being safe).
Besides my early teenage black out episodes, I'd say the worst thing that alcohol did to me was when I started to drink alone and became like a Dr. jekyll/ Mr Hyde kind of guy. When I was sober I'd act usually cool and not strange. But as soon as I started drinking on the weekend I'd start feeling narcistic-like and even paranoid. I'd get irritated by stupid things and could get really mad at someone for stupid things. I was afraid of myself and the things I could do.
My doctor said the Antabuse is the only thing that would keep me away from the booze, and help me recover from the disease. Here in Peru (where I live) there's no campral or similiar meds. I had to get the Antabuse from abroad, but ordering campral would be even more expensive and is out of question. He also told me to get topiramate, which I could buy locally and helps with the cravings.
So, I've been taking Antabuse and topiramate and I've been alcohol free for a month. The anxiety kills me, I feel like I'm constantly awake and alert and can't ease or slow the process of thinking. I don't have the alcohol to help me go numb as I was used to.
This is my question, which you might consider stupid with all the things I've gone trough: Would I (23 years old) be able to drink ever again? I'm not asking if I can (ofc I can grab a bottle and stick it into my lips, with or without the antabuse in my system). My question is if a person like me, who gets the antabuse prescribed, ever gets "healed" from this erratic behaviour linked to drinking and can enjoy a beer like a normal person. It doesn't matter if it's in 30-40 or 50 years. Or should I start assuming that I'm not gonna be drinking alcohol ever again.
Thanks every1 for reading what I come up with.
Sorry for my bad english.
Besides my early teenage black out episodes, I'd say the worst thing that alcohol did to me was when I started to drink alone and became like a Dr. jekyll/ Mr Hyde kind of guy. When I was sober I'd act usually cool and not strange. But as soon as I started drinking on the weekend I'd start feeling narcistic-like and even paranoid. I'd get irritated by stupid things and could get really mad at someone for stupid things. I was afraid of myself and the things I could do.
My doctor said the Antabuse is the only thing that would keep me away from the booze, and help me recover from the disease. Here in Peru (where I live) there's no campral or similiar meds. I had to get the Antabuse from abroad, but ordering campral would be even more expensive and is out of question. He also told me to get topiramate, which I could buy locally and helps with the cravings.
So, I've been taking Antabuse and topiramate and I've been alcohol free for a month. The anxiety kills me, I feel like I'm constantly awake and alert and can't ease or slow the process of thinking. I don't have the alcohol to help me go numb as I was used to.
This is my question, which you might consider stupid with all the things I've gone trough: Would I (23 years old) be able to drink ever again? I'm not asking if I can (ofc I can grab a bottle and stick it into my lips, with or without the antabuse in my system). My question is if a person like me, who gets the antabuse prescribed, ever gets "healed" from this erratic behaviour linked to drinking and can enjoy a beer like a normal person. It doesn't matter if it's in 30-40 or 50 years. Or should I start assuming that I'm not gonna be drinking alcohol ever again.
Thanks every1 for reading what I come up with.
Sorry for my bad english.
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