TDS on the verge of slipping

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

He never really denied being an addict though, did he?
All he did was admit that this was the first time in months he wasn’t drinking, drugging etc to cover up pain.
I could be wrong, and am being a bad bluelighter by not going back and re-reading before I comment. ?

Anyway, good luck in your endeavors though Johnny. Maybe you’ll change your mind in the future about the way you feel, which you are fully entitled to do. Being hundreds of miles away from the last current routine you fell into has a way of putting a lot of different things in perspective.

 

[mal3volent]

saw you guys were still on this thread and just wanted to post the final update;

I'm already several hundred miles from my wife and I'm feeling great. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I've decided to never go back. I will probably never see my son again.

Just to clarify I didn't come back there because I was out of money or options. I had over 100k from my last gambling trip left. I came back cause I wanted to see if I could make it work. I couldn't. I can't be with her ever again. It's bad for me and for her.

For the first time in months I don't need to drink to stop the pain. I will drink but I'll drink for fun. Same goes for gambling and drugs. I won't do it because of the pain but because I wanna have some fun. And hopefully I'll find somebody who will make me even happier along the way.

Thanks for the advice and I hope the next time I come on here will be to help someone and not no ask for help.

Are you trolling man or did you actually just abandon your child?

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

Maybe I’m missing something but I didn’t take it that way. I Was assuming when he said he’d never see his kid again, it was because the girl would try to prevent this because he left the toxic situation.
Now he said he’s hundreds of miles away st this point, but that could be because that’s the only place he had to go to get out of the toxic relationship maybe?

 

[mal3volent]

No use beating around the bush: he's choosing alcohol over his child.

"I've decided never to go back".

He decided.

You don't have to abandon your child to leave a toxic relationship. Ever heard of getting a divorce? Finding someone else? Prove to the judge you are responsible enough to be granted joint or partial custody?

 

[Jabberwocky]

well if you want to just rationalize things and pick villains and victims you could also say I'm trying to prevent my son from being completely poisoned and brought up to be a disgusting, petty piece of scum like the rest of that family

I didn't mean to come out as harsh as post sounded, I was thinking about your exes' point of view. It sounds like a rough ride for her. I completely understand if the situation wasn't right for you. I'm living the straight life and I just don't fit in. Never have.

 

[Iceman1216]

I feel sorry for the son in this post!! I do not care how bad the wife is, the job of a father is to help,care for, and nurture a child into this world?? My parents have been divorced for 35 years and my dad has stayed in my life the whole time. He as well choose the booze over marriage, but Never left his Kids.
Sorry but the life style you are representing in your posts is that of a child, not an adult. I hope you do not ever regret this and want a relationship with your son? ne may treat you as you are him now??

 

[Jabberwocky]

I had depression onset when I was 15 and I'm in my mid-fifties now. It can be managed but that's about it. Same timeline with drugs and alcohol though I had good extended on and off periods. I can see both sides of it, the mental illness/drug and alcohol abuse, and the need to be a husband and father.

 

[BC hockeyguy]

I'm already several hundred miles from my wife and I'm feeling great. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I've decided to never go back. I will probably never see my son again.


For the first time in months I don't need to drink to stop the pain. I will drink but I'll drink for fun. Same goes for gambling and drugs. I won't do it because of the pain but because I wanna have some fun. And hopefully I'll find somebody who will make me even happier along the way.

I think your choice to be a dead beat dad is gonna cause you some pain bud>>>>>>. IF it makes you feel any better... It will cause your son 100 times more pain. Not to mention abandonment / rejection issues when he's older. Which will turn into an out of control booze/drugs problem (hes already genetically predisposed)

Youre choosing booze, drugs and gambling over your VOW to be a husband and father,, Maybe no one else has the balls to say this but GROW THE FUCK UP AND BE A MAN... Deadbeats piss me off.

 

[Phobos]

I think it is good to point out an issue that comes before all others in this situation.
Johnny, you claim you had sobered up, drinking only in moderation, and now you are drinking for fun and not to feel better.
But the reality is that a gallon of wine a day is not by far moderation.
It is a drinking problem that you see as being not a problem, which makes it extremely dangerous.
You are not sober, you are thinking with an addict mentality and you do not realise it.
While I hope you will be alright it is not likely that you will be, you need to literally quit completely like zero drinks allowed for a few months minimum before you can think like yourself without influence from alcohol or the mindset of an addict.

What that means is that if you were actually sober now you may not agree with your current choice regarding your son.
I'm not saying that I know what you would have done, but I recommend you find out what sober you thinks.

 

[Xorkoth]

Drinking in the morning and night is really not normal behavior at all. If my partner was doing that, I would be concerned, too. Considering your history with your wife (you really were not doing right by her), of course she is upset by the drinking. She's probably totally terrified and she has a right to be. You're the one that fucked up, you really need to try to remember that. Everything you have said in here in your updates screams of denial. I am not trying to sound harsh, but you're kidding yourself if you say you're drinking purely for fun here. What happened to your desire to be there for your kid? Suddenly you're choosing to abandon your son. If you need to leave the relationship, more power to you, you need to do you. But you're really causing pain for your child. I think you need to get real with yourself and realize you do have a problem here, you actually just chose alcohol over your child. I can't see this ending well.

Ultimately you're going to do you, and I am not trying to judge you here, but you posted in this forum for help, and I'm giving you my honest opinion. I think you are going to deeply regret this, and I think your drinking/drugging is going to get worse and worse and destroy what's left of your life. I love to party, I do plenty of drugs, I've been severely addicted to drugs for 10 years before. I'm really not judging. I'm saying from experience that life is better when your drug use is under control. And that it's VERY easy to fool yourself into thinking you're under control when you're really not. Just judging from what you've communicated on here, it seems very clear you're fooling yourself and are not in control right now. Since you've posted this in The Dark Side, I'm taking this as a cry for help. So, take my advice or leave it, I felt obliged to give it.

Good luck man.