older sister = mortal enemies
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tantric
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dude, i'm stone cold *country* - i piss off my back porch. i've considered abandoning the upstairs and trying to kick her out of the basement, but i really don't want to have to shit in the woods or something. i do have standards.
well, i thought about it for a couple of days, then i went to the clinic. at first, they sheeple at the desk refused to talk to me 'we can't talk about our patients' so i took the alphamale out and let fly. next i talked to the owner, a few strident Sioux woman, told her what was up, the trading, how it was wrecking the family, not alpha at all. of course, she can't say anything about a patient herself, but i know this and now how to handle it. she says she'll handle it and shakes my hand (well, she presented her hand to me, i shook it). i figured a low chance she'd do nothing, very low chance she'd rat me out.
i talked to my dad, and he asked me how he could get her to take a drug test, he'd tried to make her go to the hospital the previous night. i told him what i'd done. he said that was the wrong thing to do, that he'd handle it. i pointed out he'd failed at that and said, well, you can back me and then its your idea she goes back to daily. he refused, said she was going to 'torpedo me' and that he wouldn't help. that blew me up. he is incapable of siding with me, of seeing anything i do as other than a failure. sometimes i wonder if he even needs a dick, cause the only things that come from his mouth are piss and vinegar. he is literally incapable of seeing me as anything other than a helpless failure. so i blew up at him - he just bought a new lawnmower for $5000, which i helped him pick out. we went to several stores, talked to people, read up on it, etc. see, one thing he constantly throws in my face is that he had to pay $5000 for a lawyer when i got arrested (this time). i told him i KNEW he spent ten times as much time and energy picking out that GD lawnmower as he did my lawyer, that in fact he paid no attention to it, just handed money to my sister and let her screw me because ultimately, he loves his MF lawn more than he does his son. well, that did that.
well, the clinic kicked her out. she has to drive twice as far and start over with a new clinic. i learned this from a 3rd party. i have no idea what she'll do, but she will seek revenge.
socko
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It might have been better if you hadn't said anything to your dad. I don't know how much he is going to repeat to your sister. Unless, maybe you want her to hear through him.
I don't know why your father is against you all the time. It's like he has a grudge against you.
$5000 for a lawn mower? How big is his lawn? Or is this a commercial mower for a landscaping business? For the last house I lived in, I had to mow the lawn myself. I went to a 2nd hand store and paid $10 for a reel mower. It was that or buy a goat and keep it tethered in the yard to eat the grass so I wouldn't have to mow.
I don't know why your father is against you all the time. It's like he has a grudge against you.
$5000 for a lawn mower? How big is his lawn? Or is this a commercial mower for a landscaping business? For the last house I lived in, I had to mow the lawn myself. I went to a 2nd hand store and paid $10 for a reel mower. It was that or buy a goat and keep it tethered in the yard to eat the grass so I wouldn't have to mow.
tantric
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the farm is a fenced in 5 acres, about half in gardens and trees. so he mows the rest. i rail against this - plant clover, i say, which doesn't have to be cut and put N in the soil. he hates clover, tries to kill it. he *enjoys* brutalizing nature. it's a mindset.
for some bizarre reason, i thought my dad would back me in this. he won't, not because of what i did, but because he won't side with me for anything
for some bizarre reason, i thought my dad would back me in this. he won't, not because of what i did, but because he won't side with me for anything
socko
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How often does he mow, like twice a week in the wet season? I think I know why he has bad allergies now. That mower kicks up so much dust, grass particles, mold spores including deadly black mold, insecticide, roundup, rag weed, exhaust, etc, that I'd be sick from allergies too.
That's insane to keep a mowed lawn of that size unless you're a country club. It would drive me crazy too if I had to live with the kind of person who compulsively keeps it mowed. And the constant noise of the motor would push me over the edge. It's just stupid. You need to get away from there.
Since it's a fenced in farm, I would make that land productive. You have a lot of land. Plant it all or buy a flock of goats and start selling artisan goat milk, goat cheese, goat yogurt, and meat from the males at the local farmers market. Get some chickens and sell eggs. Plant a small orchard of heirloom peach trees. Cover every inch of that 5 acres up to the porch with some kind of crop. Your father will resist. He is old and living on entitlements. He has no ambition or incentive to run a productive farm. But you, on the other hand, are motivated. You need to earn a living. You need to somehow find a way to make things work out. Try to get him interested and tell him you will need help sorting the peaches for market.
That's insane to keep a mowed lawn of that size unless you're a country club. It would drive me crazy too if I had to live with the kind of person who compulsively keeps it mowed. And the constant noise of the motor would push me over the edge. It's just stupid. You need to get away from there.
Since it's a fenced in farm, I would make that land productive. You have a lot of land. Plant it all or buy a flock of goats and start selling artisan goat milk, goat cheese, goat yogurt, and meat from the males at the local farmers market. Get some chickens and sell eggs. Plant a small orchard of heirloom peach trees. Cover every inch of that 5 acres up to the porch with some kind of crop. Your father will resist. He is old and living on entitlements. He has no ambition or incentive to run a productive farm. But you, on the other hand, are motivated. You need to earn a living. You need to somehow find a way to make things work out. Try to get him interested and tell him you will need help sorting the peaches for market.
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tantric
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i have a plan, a very detailed plan, here's part of it, for one acre:
here's my plan: a pick-your-own berries patch with kid appeal. i plan to offer mixed berries at $6/pint. i'll plant blueberries from early, middle and late fruiting types. i want a briar patch with thorny brambles and i'll base it on Brer Rabbit's briar patch.
there'll be a statue of brer rabbit in the center and if you can bring it to me, you get a pint of homemade mixed berry and orange marmalade swirl ice cream, which is not for sale at any price (parents, is that bad? they will get scratched). i have a few scuppernog vines and i want to add muscadines so that their trellises from an enclosed area, just big enough for kids to sit in. for variety i plan on having a few hardy kiwi vines, gooseberries, elderberries, jostaberries and mulberries - just one or two plants each. i can't compete with big orchards, but i can offer something special. every visit you get something different.
value added items include mixed berry wine, potted fruiting blueberry bushes
here's my plan: a pick-your-own berries patch with kid appeal. i plan to offer mixed berries at $6/pint. i'll plant blueberries from early, middle and late fruiting types. i want a briar patch with thorny brambles and i'll base it on Brer Rabbit's briar patch.
there'll be a statue of brer rabbit in the center and if you can bring it to me, you get a pint of homemade mixed berry and orange marmalade swirl ice cream, which is not for sale at any price (parents, is that bad? they will get scratched). i have a few scuppernog vines and i want to add muscadines so that their trellises from an enclosed area, just big enough for kids to sit in. for variety i plan on having a few hardy kiwi vines, gooseberries, elderberries, jostaberries and mulberries - just one or two plants each. i can't compete with big orchards, but i can offer something special. every visit you get something different.
value added items include mixed berry wine, potted fruiting blueberry bushes
tantric
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how about this, a plan for the hedges and shrubs in one of the flower beds:
the color out of space
i'm huge SF fan and i remember a story by HPLovecraft called 'the color out of space' about a meteorite infecting this valley so the plants all changed to some unnamable color. then there's the 'War Against the Chtorr' about earth being invaded by an alien ecosystem that is red-pigment based.....
what i want is for the bed to look like its being overcome with purple. i want purple flowering vines and purple leaf sweet potatoes choking the shrubs and to go with the purple hyacinths and crocus i remember from childhood, purple crinums, purple leaf elephant ear, etc. the new plants should show wild, verdant (well, purple-dant) growth over the tame, box cut shrubs. but of course, it's all carefully arranged and tended.
my tentative list:
vines: passionflower (very alien), bougainvillia, clematis, morning glory, maybe tweedia
bulbs: allium, crocus, hyacinth (grape?), taro, purple calla lilies?
another option would be to use only plants with red/purple foliage, and let them bloom as may. i think part of my inspiration is the local places where wisteria and kudzu swallow whole forests - both 'alien invasives'. when i was an ecology grad student, we had a courtyard with rafters overgrown with wisteria - there were always bumblebees and anoles. fantastic - but the administration had it cut down, as we had a lab devoted to dealing with invasive exotics. i'm afraid i did something rash to give a voice to that little stump, that caused a brouhaha, but not apropos here. i want it to be swallowed in purple, lavender, indigo and scarlet, overgrown, lush and not right...like these fields. but unlike them, hugely diverse in plant species - and note that i'm not crazy enough to plant real kudzu or wisteria. besides, it is next to my lavender bed (under an dogwood, circular bed), where i'm going to grow lavender as a crop.
i believe i'm allowed to quote short passages from books where i give credit under fair usage, right?
-Season for Slaughter, War Against the Chtorr #4, David Gerrold (description of the dying Amazon)
the color out of space
i'm huge SF fan and i remember a story by HPLovecraft called 'the color out of space' about a meteorite infecting this valley so the plants all changed to some unnamable color. then there's the 'War Against the Chtorr' about earth being invaded by an alien ecosystem that is red-pigment based.....
what i want is for the bed to look like its being overcome with purple. i want purple flowering vines and purple leaf sweet potatoes choking the shrubs and to go with the purple hyacinths and crocus i remember from childhood, purple crinums, purple leaf elephant ear, etc. the new plants should show wild, verdant (well, purple-dant) growth over the tame, box cut shrubs. but of course, it's all carefully arranged and tended.
my tentative list:
vines: passionflower (very alien), bougainvillia, clematis, morning glory, maybe tweedia
bulbs: allium, crocus, hyacinth (grape?), taro, purple calla lilies?
another option would be to use only plants with red/purple foliage, and let them bloom as may. i think part of my inspiration is the local places where wisteria and kudzu swallow whole forests - both 'alien invasives'. when i was an ecology grad student, we had a courtyard with rafters overgrown with wisteria - there were always bumblebees and anoles. fantastic - but the administration had it cut down, as we had a lab devoted to dealing with invasive exotics. i'm afraid i did something rash to give a voice to that little stump, that caused a brouhaha, but not apropos here. i want it to be swallowed in purple, lavender, indigo and scarlet, overgrown, lush and not right...like these fields. but unlike them, hugely diverse in plant species - and note that i'm not crazy enough to plant real kudzu or wisteria. besides, it is next to my lavender bed (under an dogwood, circular bed), where i'm going to grow lavender as a crop.
i believe i'm allowed to quote short passages from books where i give credit under fair usage, right?
-Season for Slaughter, War Against the Chtorr #4, David Gerrold (description of the dying Amazon)
tantric
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update
i thought i'd solved this problem, as there's been blessed peace and quiet in my house for weeks. but no - i just found out she ripped off a dealer for an 8 ball of meth. ripping off dealers is hardcore shit, like desperate. there's going to be a crash and i REALLY don't want to get none on me, as my people say.
i thought i'd solved this problem, as there's been blessed peace and quiet in my house for weeks. but no - i just found out she ripped off a dealer for an 8 ball of meth. ripping off dealers is hardcore shit, like desperate. there's going to be a crash and i REALLY don't want to get none on me, as my people say.
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PriestTheyCalledHim
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She's an adult, and made the choice to rip off a dealer for a small amount of meth.
I would just stay out of it, pretend that you do not know anything, and have you and your dad and the rest of your family besides your sister stay safe.
I like your idea for the pick your own berries with the statue of Brer rabbit. Good luck.
tantric
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auto-necro
UPDATE
my sister's daughter, jessie, was recently diagnosed with a brain neoplasm. at that point, it was clear to me that my sister, rather than jessie, would be the problem in the upcoming weeks, until the mass could be removed and biopsied. i immediately made peace with sis. discussions were had. i decided what i could do best would be to manage my sister and prevent her from having a break down or whatever - and i have done so. kept her busy, which means doing meth and spending hours wandering around in Kohl's (clothing store). she can't buy meth now except via me, so i've been keeping it level. cutting her off would produce a crash just as well as giving her full access. and yes, i do it with her. for two weeks, we've been thick as thieves, while i do my best to contain the drama. at one point, in the hospital waiting room, my 81yo father smacked her in the head with his cane for acting out (i wasn't there). this brings us to today....
i made a treat for my niece - a parfait of bittersweet chocolate mousse | bananas butterscotch fluffed toffee | toasted coconut shortbread (i'm a diabetic, but dammit, i ate one. i have't died yet and it was *royal*) and me and sis went to the hospital today, my niece's last day there. i decided that was my last day of riding herd on sis, too. around midnight tonight i was sitting in the car outside Kohl's when my father called and said "tell her if she charges anything on my account i'll have her arrested". i thought that sounded amusing, so i went back to fiddling with my mp3. still, the store closed and it was time to go home. understand that at this point sis is being acting normal - any of y'all would immediately notice the tweaker. we drive home (she yells for me to TURN or whatever at random, or says 'ITS RED' about a light)
we get home, dad attacks, screaming argument. but before that, me and sis had been discussing whether or not the farm should be sold. rather, sis was telling why it was in my best interest to sell the farm so she could have a condo. it's near the end of the line, so i stop her and say, dad and i have already agreed, he's not going to sell. which is solid fact. she dismissed it and went on with the fantasy (truth - the farm will never be sold. i will live here my every living day and i don't give a shit how it affects her). so i'm pissed, listening to them argue. and i'm geeked to the gills. i did something bad. i went to her and told her, 'all of the last two weeks has been a lie. i was managing you so you couldn't do any more harm to your child. we are NOT friends. dealing with family illness by sucking up huge amounts of ice and going on shopping sprees is disgusting . it's just another addiction. i hate *all* of it'
okay, that wasn't very buddhist. wrong speech. i cried a lot afterwards, but it really was hard on me. i LOATHE consumer capitalism. sis spends hours putting on make up and buys truckloads of clothes. she constantly tries to 'help' me with new clothes, etc, all of which i refuse (well, i kept the boots). she thinks i'm being difficult. i think i spend my time on being a good person, which shows, and thus i don't need wraps and paints. i'm not into being infected with her crap, but for these weeks, i've been entertaining it (i got an AC/DC Back in Black t-shirt and a Bob Marley one, though she stole those ). before Kohl's we were at the international farmer's market. she loves apples, so on a whim i bought her a couple of each of several exotic types. because.....i want to love my sister, it's genetic...?
just now i wrote her this letter:
i put the note in her bathroom, along with the apples
so, is that enough? i really crushed her, and it was done out of hate and anger and i'm ashamed. but i don't know anything esle to do.
UPDATE
my sister's daughter, jessie, was recently diagnosed with a brain neoplasm. at that point, it was clear to me that my sister, rather than jessie, would be the problem in the upcoming weeks, until the mass could be removed and biopsied. i immediately made peace with sis. discussions were had. i decided what i could do best would be to manage my sister and prevent her from having a break down or whatever - and i have done so. kept her busy, which means doing meth and spending hours wandering around in Kohl's (clothing store). she can't buy meth now except via me, so i've been keeping it level. cutting her off would produce a crash just as well as giving her full access. and yes, i do it with her. for two weeks, we've been thick as thieves, while i do my best to contain the drama. at one point, in the hospital waiting room, my 81yo father smacked her in the head with his cane for acting out (i wasn't there). this brings us to today....
i made a treat for my niece - a parfait of bittersweet chocolate mousse | bananas butterscotch fluffed toffee | toasted coconut shortbread (i'm a diabetic, but dammit, i ate one. i have't died yet and it was *royal*) and me and sis went to the hospital today, my niece's last day there. i decided that was my last day of riding herd on sis, too. around midnight tonight i was sitting in the car outside Kohl's when my father called and said "tell her if she charges anything on my account i'll have her arrested". i thought that sounded amusing, so i went back to fiddling with my mp3. still, the store closed and it was time to go home. understand that at this point sis is being acting normal - any of y'all would immediately notice the tweaker. we drive home (she yells for me to TURN or whatever at random, or says 'ITS RED' about a light)
we get home, dad attacks, screaming argument. but before that, me and sis had been discussing whether or not the farm should be sold. rather, sis was telling why it was in my best interest to sell the farm so she could have a condo. it's near the end of the line, so i stop her and say, dad and i have already agreed, he's not going to sell. which is solid fact. she dismissed it and went on with the fantasy (truth - the farm will never be sold. i will live here my every living day and i don't give a shit how it affects her). so i'm pissed, listening to them argue. and i'm geeked to the gills. i did something bad. i went to her and told her, 'all of the last two weeks has been a lie. i was managing you so you couldn't do any more harm to your child. we are NOT friends. dealing with family illness by sucking up huge amounts of ice and going on shopping sprees is disgusting . it's just another addiction. i hate *all* of it'
okay, that wasn't very buddhist. wrong speech. i cried a lot afterwards, but it really was hard on me. i LOATHE consumer capitalism. sis spends hours putting on make up and buys truckloads of clothes. she constantly tries to 'help' me with new clothes, etc, all of which i refuse (well, i kept the boots). she thinks i'm being difficult. i think i spend my time on being a good person, which shows, and thus i don't need wraps and paints. i'm not into being infected with her crap, but for these weeks, i've been entertaining it (i got an AC/DC Back in Black t-shirt and a Bob Marley one, though she stole those ). before Kohl's we were at the international farmer's market. she loves apples, so on a whim i bought her a couple of each of several exotic types. because.....i want to love my sister, it's genetic...?
just now i wrote her this letter:
i put the note in her bathroom, along with the apples
so, is that enough? i really crushed her, and it was done out of hate and anger and i'm ashamed. but i don't know anything esle to do.
socko
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Does your sister have custody of her child? is it normal for a tweaker and junkie to have custody of a small child?
I understand that selling the farm would give your sister money to buy a condo with enough money left over for a couple years of meth and shopping at Kohls before she has to go on public assistance. You might get some money from the sale of the farm if you're lucky. This is only a temporary solution.
I understand that selling the farm would give your sister money to buy a condo with enough money left over for a couple years of meth and shopping at Kohls before she has to go on public assistance. You might get some money from the sale of the farm if you're lucky. This is only a temporary solution.
tantric
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her daughter is 23.
she has an interesting clinic - they only drug test for other opiates. she was trading her methadone for meth, until i told the clinic (she was going way too far). patronizing her? she introduces me to other people as "my little brother joey'. 'joe' is my middle name - i dropped 'joey' after kindergarten and moved to my first name in college. she does it to belittle me. so, really......
she has an interesting clinic - they only drug test for other opiates. she was trading her methadone for meth, until i told the clinic (she was going way too far). patronizing her? she introduces me to other people as "my little brother joey'. 'joe' is my middle name - i dropped 'joey' after kindergarten and moved to my first name in college. she does it to belittle me. so, really......
socko
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I thought your sister was in her early 20s. I had no idea her child is that old. She must be in her late 50s by now but acts like a teenager. She's too old to be playing the school girl act of shock daddy by dating a lesbian. Why doesn't she just find a man in with him?
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