NYE was last time I had sex : I'm married

[Hurhel]

We've been married 12 years
We are first time parents I'm 41 and he's 44.
The baby keeps us pretty busy.
I stay at home with the baby she is 13 months old and is starting to walk.
We just have zero sex now a days.
Last time was New Year's Eve and it was awkward even. My husband will not have sex on a work night. He jacks off to porn everyday in morning before work. He's not really affectionate . I make dinner , do laundry , the chores etc. I know having a kid changes everything but damm this much? I've lost all my baby weight already --so that's good right?
I feel that he doesn't wanna bother with being vulnerable and intimate. So if he jacks of to porn it's straight to the point. I feel like a roomate not his wife. He comes home everyday from work and we eat dinner and play with our baby girl.
I fantasize about my old lovers because they were not bothered by trying to have a sexual relationship with me. I'm a Puerto Rican woman with big boobs and a nice ass and big lips. I never had a problem back in my younger days.

We both agreed before we had a kid that I would stay home with the little one. His commute is not long and his work hours are decent. No weekends or night shift.

I dream about sex all the time and I sext him often and he doesn't return the dirty talk. He says its weird to text nasty talk. He just can't go with the flow. I feel Sad. I wanna feel desired and wanted.
Even when we go out on the Weekend to run errands men flirt with me. In front of him and he's like well they better find their OWN wife not mine he says .

I even have sex toys and I don't use them because I want a real dick inside me or my mouth.
Maybe having a kid messed up our relationship!??

 

[Steroids]

You need to sit him down and have a talk. Explain to him that you need a healthy sex lifestyle.

 

[Bearlove]

What were things like before the baby? I know that having a baby can change the dynamics of a relationship but this should not exclude intimacy with each other especially with him jacking off to porn all the time. You do say that you haven't had sex since NYE and your baby is now 13months so was he passionate and intimate with you upto NYE?

Has anything else happened in your relationship that may be putting him off sex (with you)?

Do you both take a break from your baby, maybe at the weekends having somebody else take care of her (even if it is just overnight) so you both have some time together without the distraction?

 

[pofacedhoe]

sounds like the porn is getting in the way of him being horny.

i cut it out about 3 weeks back and to be fair i haven't missed it much. it was filling a gap but making me too visually based and making it hard to connect.

is he tired all the time?

 

[pokepoke420]

I hate to sound like an asshole, but are you taking care of yourself physically, or have you let yourself completely go?

 

[Steroids]

I hate to sound like an asshole, but are you taking care of yourself physically, or have you let yourself completely go?

You have a good point. Be honest with yourself. Have you slipped up and put on some extra weight? If so, exercise and get fit.