CH...I was in a relationship with someone that used while I was sober. (well mostly sober, I would have a beer or two some nights, and the odd joint if my brother and I could afford a gram) It is a crappy feeling. Knowing that whatever you do, however hard you try, the ultimate healthiness of your relationship is in either you leaving them, or them changing. One of which is very easy to happen, but hard to fathom.
You can ask, nag, plead, beg, attend counseling, take them out of counseling, chase them up the street, chase them down the street, bargain with them, or give them ultimatums but the only real power you have is to detach from them. Either detach with love, or detach with anger, the choice is yours. I am sorry if this offends you, however, this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to codependency. I would do some research on it, and it will help you understand why you feel the way you do about them, even though their actions, or lack of action, may be causing you misery.
Thanks bono! At first recovery is very hard. You have no idea how much I wanted to go back for just one more hit, but as the days wore on, I knew I had become stronger and stronger. Each day is like a little battle...it however is not the war. The war lasts a lifetime, and if you lose a battle, do not stress it. My first real attempt to get sober was at age 28 (i had been to rehabs and meetings before this), I am now 33 years old. I have one year sober. Basically the point I am trying to make is; if it doesn't work never give up. I tried everything, ORT, Inpatient rehabs, psychwards, medically assisted withdrawal, but they all failed. I did not let it get me down...I kept going. I had gotten to the point that I thought suicide would be the only way out of this, but I am so glad everyday I never did that, because things are getting better and better. I never gave up even though it took me a solid four years to understand who the fuck I was, how the fuck I got there, and how the fuck to get back on the road to my goals.
Tripnotyzm; Ride that wave man. There are going to be positive and negative days especially in early recovery. When you feel negative lean on your friends, when you feel positive be the friend to lean on. You got this my man, four days was when I first started feeling an inkling that I may be turning a corner on my dependence. Keep at it!