Tapering Not IV'd for 6 days so far... The cravings are starting

[geekgrl]

I've been getting smashed for years. The rave scene was my home, now i mostly do it for boredom, excitement, sleep or energy. I've smoked weed every day since the 90s, but thats not the beast i am tackling. I started doing heroin to see what it was like and am at the end of 2 years of trying to stop every day use. I'm on day 6 since I last shot up, took 40mg of methadone for 2 daya then 30mg day after, am on 20 mg now. I would get help professionally but in the uk i would lose my drivers licence. I am disabled and that would leave me housebound. I guess I'm looking for a little support here. Or just a me too, or ok. I cried for 3 dsys but I tell myself its just the drop in opiates. I need to learn to stay away from drugs, but with access to the dark web markets it's really hard.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I would have cried too!!!!!

Stay strong! I am here. I have been through all the pain a stupid number of times.

You sound like youre really going to make it

 

[LucidSDreamr]

check out the IV complications megathread in the "other drugs forums" Read about amputations and hepatitis C. Becoming obsessive about these topics and having a friend die from endocarditis is what leads me to put down the needle about 6 years ago, i swiched to snorted and oral opiates at that point which i continued to use heavily, it was more expensive at first but eventually the needle obsession was gone.

 

[somnilicious]

Hang in there. Keep taking the methadone and slowly taper. I'm right here with you. I will have more to say tomorrow when it's not 340am. Everything your experiencing is normal. It gets better with time.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Why do you think you will lose your drivers licence? Are you sure about that?

AFAIK you are no more likely to lose your driver's licence than someone receiving opiates for any other treatment, you should check that really carefully. I'm in the UK and I've never heard that.

How much methadone have you got? You in physical wd or just craving IV use? If it's the latter I know exactly how you feel, I've done detoxes where I felt like I was breaking up with a lover and cried when I had a needle fixation. You're deffo not the only one!

You can do this! Geekgrl SMASH POWER!!!!

 

[geekgrl]

Thanks everyone. Bit of both cravings wise. I already have an amputation due to an accident so am keen to not have another! I have read the complications over and over again but I'm good at self destruction. If you have any drug addiction you are meant to tell the dvla and they revoke your licence for 6 or 12 months depending on the drug of choice, then they will drug test you for the next 5 years!. I even spoke to the local CGL about this. I smoke weed as well and the thought of losing my licence scares the hell out of me.


I have about another 20 x40mg methadone, as well as my oxycodone prescription from the last 18months. So I won't go cold turkey. But I miss the ups and downs of 20 years of drug use. I'm trying to get my life back on track.

3 years ago I lost my leg due to trying to take my own life on a train track, lost my job and drugs just got easier to take. My depression is much worse with benzos so I rarely take those now, but not sleeping is taking its toll. I hate not sleeping. My mental health is actually ok. I'm under mental health services but I kept my drug use secret. No one hardly knows about my little heroin problem and I'd like the keep it that way. Although I have told myself this is the last time and I need professional help if I fall off the wagon again.

So day 7 I think now.... I miss the rush of a speedball, but I know that I was chasing a high I could no longer achieve. I try to keep busy, volunteering, applying for jobs finally. I do every thing by the book except telling professional services that I'm a drug dustbin.

But 7 days is good. This is the longest I have lasted since I started the cycle. Just need to try and not replace it with another drug. I feeel like a little sniff of coke would help a few things. Or maybe some other drugs would do a b or c. But Fucking hell I would love some form of rush right now, this is the longest craving I've had so far. I'm a child of the rave scene and it's such a hard habit to break after 22 years of class As.

 

[Aeon Psyche]

stops the withdrawls……….when you start getting opiate sick, swallow 10 or 20 loperamide tabs, immodium is a weak opiate and just enough to heal your situation. It'll help. It worked for me after a 100gr Heroin binge.

 

[geekgrl]

At thw moment I miss that little warm fuzzy opiate stomachy feeling..... sure you know what I mean! Two years of it daily makes me feel a bit.... Empty, lacking.

 

[geekgrl]

I would have cried too!!!!!

Stay strong! I am here. I have been through all the pain a stupid number of times.

You sound like youre really going to make it

I hope so.... But I have a horrible feeling I will have a momebt of weakness and before I know it spend money I don't have on a fix...... Today feels harder even though I don't actually feel sick.

 

[JessFR]

I'm amazed that the uk would revoke your license just for getting on methadone.

For me it was the reverse. I was arrested and my license disqualified and I only got it back specifically because I got on methadone (well the other way would have involved paying 13k in court fines).

I'm sorry for what you're going through I truly am.
I wish I had some advice. I mean I suppose there's public transport. But I know that's not realistic for everyone.

For what it's worth. A lot of us understand how hard this is and are rooting for you.

 

[geekgrl]

15 days and still going strong, but I think about it all day every day. I've got a new love interest, but I've yet to tell him I was a closet smack head for two years. I know I will end up buying something I shouldn't at some point, but I just keep putting it off to tomorrow. I'm on methadone 20mg and I have a load of oxy that is stopping me from getting sick.
I'm pretty pleased I have managed this long though and my IV scars are finally all starting to heal which is nice. I don't miss hunting for a vein, but I miss everything else. One day at a time

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I hope so.... But I have a horrible feeling I will have a momebt of weakness and before I know it spend money I don't have on a fix...... Today feels harder even though I don't actually feel sick.

You and me both and im not using meth/heroin. It sucks really bad. But i am alive, have family and friends to see me through this.

 

[G_Chem]

Yea don’t want to distract too much but from everything I hear the UK sounds like it’s much worse place to get an addiction in. Losing your license and being drug tested for 5yrs?

The IV fiend will get easier with time. For me it took a year and nowadays I can’t even do it without shaking like I’ve never done it before. I realized I can get a good experience without the stress of IV. (And yes IV is stressful, ever watched someone try to hit a vein for hours on end only to finally get one and realize the blood from repetitive misses has coagulated at the end of the syringe. Fun times. That doesn’t happen with other ROA’s.)

But I can understand cravings. I’m sitting at home right now when I should be out because my cravings and anxiety got the best of me.

6 days clean off “dope” right now and feel good most of the time but goddamn when it hits it hits..

-GC

 

[geekgrl]

Know exactly what you mean about veins! It's effort 4 to 6 times a day. Me on day 15 i think now.

 

[G_Chem]

How much dope were you using before? Must’ve had a hefty tolerance cuz I see elsewhere you talk about also using Oxycodone and other opiates which are barely touching the withdrawals by the sounds of it.

Fentanyl in a lot of today’s dope makes things even more complicated.

Keep strong 15 days is huge I’ll do the same..

-GC

 

[geekgrl]

I was going through about 2 gram a week of pretty good stuff. Too much really. I can take 150mg oxy and not really feel anything other than 'better'. I am prescribed oxycodone and I've been stockpiling it for quitting smack. I know I should really be getting professional help but I am far too scared of losing my licence

 

[geekgrl]

I mean, is quarter a g a day a pretty bad habit? When I put it like that it does sound like a lot. But you know, it kinda just happened. My tolerance is stupid

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Know exactly what you mean about veins! It's effort 4 to 6 times a day. Me on day 15 i think now.

Fuck yeah, when I went to treatment the reason I agreed to go was that just getting the heroin I needed in to my body had become almost impossible and it was taking almost an hour each time to try and get a hit.

 

[G_Chem]

With heroin it’s hard to say.. Purity varies so much but if it’s true pure heroin than yea IMO .25g a day is a lot. With “average” non fentanyl dope, it’s a decent tolerance.

@somnilicious - Jesus if I saw someone struggle on their neck I may puke. Although back then all those scenarios were made to seem ok in our minds, as I’m sure you know.

I used to stay over at my one using buddies house where he’d sit for hours screaming at the top of his lungs about constantly missing. Then he’d go downstairs and get into screaming matches with his mom, lol. Not sure how I was able to comfortably chill upstairs, oh ya.. Dope.


These days most all heroin has fentanyl in it so it’s very potent compared to typical heroin.

-GC

 

[Jabberwocky]

@G_Chem most heroin in the UK doesn't contain fent yet. I was on the dark for 6 years and only came across fent laced gear once. it was shit.

i was injecting a gram a day of reasonable stuff so i don't think 0.25g is massive, but its certainly enough to give you a pretty awful cluck.

the crying is probably a mixture of things. but i found when i quit i was so unused to actually feeling emotions properly that everything made me cry. like watching paddington 2. or in the middle of a conversation. it took me a long time, like months, to even out. i still think i cry more than average but i think that's probably part of my character that made me predisposed to getting addicted to heroin in the first place.