No Sex in 9 Years

[Michael_25]

I'm 29 now. The last time I got laid was in 2006. I'm most likely very unattractive, but I've been trying to improve that by going to the gym. Still, there's only so much that can be done about aesthetics, especially facial aesthetics. On top of that, I don't really know how to talk to girls; however that doesn't really matter as ZERO girls show me body-language indicators, and therefore, I don't approach females.

Furthermore, I do not have any friends. I live a life of desolate solitude. I come home after work to a empty house; I even put the TV on, not to watch, but just so I hear some human voices in my house. I also have poor social skills, which only adds to my plight. I'm extremely sexually frustrated and don't know what to do. I'm constantly thinking of women and sex and it's unbearable because it's tantalizing; pussy is there but i just can't get it. I try to distract myself with hobbies. However, it doesn't work that well -- my mind drifts away ... I'm not really sure what I want by making this thread. Maybe to hear if others are in a similar predicament.

 

[MissVL]

Wow how horrible for you! I don't really have any advice but sending you big cyber hugs
Reading people is something I struggle with too, if you're having trouble meeting people then perhaps you could join local social groups that share your interests. If you're just looking to get laid then I'd go an online hook-up site if you're not too confident picking up women in person. Good luck!

 

[Michael_25]

Wow how horrible for you! I don't really have any advice but sending you big cyber hugs
Reading people is something I struggle with too, if you're having trouble meeting people then perhaps you could join local social groups that share your interests. If you're just looking to get laid then I'd go an online hook-up site if you're not too confident picking up women in person. Good luck!

Never tried these online pick-up sites; I figure that there are 100 males for every 1 female on such sites. I've tried POF and OKCupid and had a couple of dates. It was a disaster. One girl left the date after 15 minutes ... I've also tried Tinder, but I've swiped over 1000 women and only received replies from bots or women that were very unattractive, so I gave up on that app.

 

[Mysterie]

I'm 22 and I have had sex once in my life (NSA) and would be considered classically attractive. I'm highly introverted and shy with poor social skills, and have never been on a date or successfully asked out a girl once in my entire life.

If I had self confidence my looks would have made it easier to get laid, but I have very little. Physical appearance is not the be all and end all. It boosts my ego somewhat on occasion and I consider this a detriment to me.

I do not care to pursue casual sex as I don't really want to add more distractions or addictions to my resumè. I believe that sex will numb the feeling of separation momentarily, but it is just an experience which will end. I see lots of people who are in relationships, and they aren't really happy.

What I wish to do is to build my self-confidence, and get closer to understand who I am. I would like to share love with someone who does not need it. To desire love from another is to reject the love we can find within ourselves.

Maybe I'm getting to deep with this but those are my thoughts on loneliness atm.

 

[Erikmen]

I'm 29 now. The last time I got laid was in 2006. I'm most likely very unattractive, but I've been trying to improve that by going to the gym. Still, there's only so much that can be done about aesthetics, especially facial aesthetics. On top of that, I don't really know how to talk to girls; however that doesn't really matter as ZERO girls show me body-language indicators, and therefore, I don't approach females.

Furthermore, I do not have any friends. I live a life of desolate solitude. I come home after work to a empty house; I even put the TV on, not to watch, but just so I hear some human voices in my house. I also have poor social skills, which only adds to my plight. I'm extremely sexually frustrated and don't know what to do. I'm constantly thinking of women and sex and it's unbearable because it's tantalizing; pussy is there but i just can't get it. I try to distract myself with hobbies. However, it doesn't work that well -- my mind drifts away ... I'm not really sure what I want by making this thread. Maybe to hear if others are in a similar predicament.

@Michael,
It´s not your body. IMO it´s your confidence, your care, your truth, honesty. Women are not only attracted to handsome guys I think they are much more challenging. They want to be heard, to be touched. They want us to appreciate them and making them special, desired and wished.

When I was living abroad it was difficult to make friends in the beginning, but you just have to let it be and pay attention to others, try to relate to them. You are the one who are saying you have poor social skills, who decided that for you. Are you shy?

Sometimes you just have to be around for a while. Don´t put yourself down like that. And I suggest you don´t focus too much on sex right now. Priorise your life by not starting to sex. Sex is the result of a combination of several factors that you will have to work on.

If you feel that you are not attracted. Change your style. You don´t have to be attractive to have friends. You don´t have to go to gym to have sex. Accept who you are. Start with that.

Wish you luck my friend!

 

[Erikmen]

Wow how horrible for you! I don't really have any advice but sending you big cyber hugs
Reading people is something I struggle with too, if you're having trouble meeting people then perhaps you could join local social groups that share your interests. If you're just looking to get laid then I'd go an online hook-up site if you're not too confident picking up women in person. Good luck!

I think that´s a good idea although I suggest you don´t start picking women online. Unless you really need it.
The reason I say this is because later on when you get real women, those that you might want to date, it will definitely be quite different IMO.

 

[llama112]

I have seen a ton of people who are not very attractive with attractive partners. It's not all about looks. It's about confidence and how you hold yourself. It's about your personality too. Poor social skills do make it harder, obviously. So start with that. Try to make some friends first. Basically, work on your social skills while trying to make friends and keep friends and then, later on, you will be able to meet females.
Good luck

 

[Erikmen]

Exactly!!
That was a great advice!
Don´t settle for less than that.

 

[Michael_25]

I have seen a ton of people who are not very attractive with attractive partners. It's not all about looks. It's about confidence and how you hold yourself. It's about your personality too. Poor social skills do make it harder, obviously. So start with that. Try to make some friends first. Basically, work on your social skills while trying to make friends and keep friends and then, later on, you will be able to meet females.
Good luck

Interesting. And thanks for the reply. It's not all about looks? Well, if I were a Brad Pitt Clone with my social skills, don't you think I'd still have a shitload of girls flirting with me?

You're about the social skills, though. It's just that I don't know how to act. Imagine if Bill Gates tried to act tough, defiant cocky (i.e. like an alpha male), it would not SUIT him, because of his looks. So, how do I know how to act? Being myself hasn't worked over the last 9 years, so clearly that needs to change. But I just don't know how. Making friends is extremely hard for me. I have nothing of value to add. I just come across as boring and odd.

 

[Michael_25]

@Michael,
It´s not your body. IMO it´s your confidence, your care, your truth, honesty. Women are not only attracted to handsome guys I think they are much more challenging. They want to be heard, to be touched. They want us to appreciate them and making them special, desired and wished.

When I was living abroad it was difficult to make friends in the beginning, but you just have to let it be and pay attention to others, try to relate to them. You are the one who are saying you have poor social skills, who decided that for you. Are you shy?

Sometimes you just have to be around for a while. Don´t put yourself down like that. And I suggest you don´t focus too much on sex right now. Priorise your life by not starting to sex. Sex is the result of a combination of several factors that you will have to work on.

If you feel that you are not attracted. Change your style. You don´t have to be attractive to have friends. You don´t have to go to gym to have sex. Accept who you are. Start with that.

Wish you luck my friend!

I think my body plays a large part in it. If I were some ripped, jacked dude with a 6-pack and Adonis Belt, girls would be giving me mad signals. And you are right: I am shy, around both males and females.

 

[Erikmen]

As corny as this might sound, I believe there will always be someone for you.
I know women who loves shy men.

 

[pofacedhoe]

move into a house with other people, get out and do things on your own and chat to women in bars.

if you sit on your ass at home with tv on then you are not making the opportunites for yourself and that is your fault, but you can rectify it and make an effort to get out and chat. people vary and when living in a lonely place its best to go to things you are interested in and get out of the house.

also living in shared house= best source of friends ive found in life.

 

[malakaix]

Can i offer a more radical solution?

Are you able to take a holiday for a couple of weeks to a month? If not, i would make an effort to make this possible and head oversea's somewhere to Europe or S.E.A.. sometimes we need a drastic change of scenery and environment in order to gain some perspective on ourselves. It's easy to begin to question and doubt yourself when you've consistently experienced rejection and social isolation in your present environment..

The best decision i ever made was heading oversea's for a while on my own.. i became enveloped in a wide and dynamic social life, i got laid by some of the most beautiful women i've ever met and i started to realize, fuck.. it's got nothing to do with me.. it's my freaking environment, my habits, patterns and routines. When all of that was thrown out the window i became a free-agent.. It's had such an impact on my life that i'm beginning to restructure my entire lifestyle.

 

[belfort]

As corny as this might sound, I believe there will always be someone for you.
I know women who loves shy men.

i agree but the problem here is how will an isolated shy guy find those rare women that like shy men?where would they meet if it isnt an online dating site?usually guys have to make the first move..

when it comes to attractiveness, it matters but ive seen plenty of hot women with just ok looking guys..charisma, personality, status, those things matter a lot to women..

 

[TomK]

Sex is overrated, because sex sells everything.

 

[Trying2Iso]

unorthodox but i figured i'd bring it up:
if you really are sick of being sexually frustrated you can get a pdoc and get started on SSRI's. it's soooo easy to talk a pdoc into prescribing you them, just fake depression. I've been on and off many of them for years and they ELIMINATE sexuality for me, like no more libido, no more desire, never horny. It's like someone cut my balls off. You won't even get hard, and you'll have no need to either.