Messedup88
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2022
- Messages
- 6
Hi, if this is in the wrong place please move it to an appropriate one. Although I have been lurking for years, this is my first post. I need help, I had an experience I can’t explain and perhaps somebody had something similar.
A little background. I used H iv a long time (over 30 years) ago and after forceful withdrawal was clean for about 10 years. Then the occasional pain med for a few years without issues. Then a painful family thing where I experienced panic attacks and was treated with benzos. Well, then one Dr suggested not use as needed but 2mg clonazepam daily. Big mistake. That was 10 years ago. Around the same time diagnosed with cancer, chronic pain after surgery and since then on about 20 later 30 mg oxy daily. I had times not too long ago where I was ok with 20 mg, sometimes even 10 for a few days.
The benzos became an issue together with the oxy, so I decided to quit. With all the help from BL I tapered down after converting to Valium. started about 4 years ago. The process took 2 years, but since then basically benzo free.
Now to my big problem. About 2 month ago, I couldn’t get oxy anymore and was prescribed 60-90 mg morphine orally daily. It was from a hospital so I think it was the real thing, no fent, but I am not certain. After about one month of that I had suddenly extreme panic attacks, possibly paranoia, my mind was scrambled. I was able to get another prescription for oxy again and switched back. That was a month ago. However, I can’t stabilize on the oxy anymore, on 30 mg a day. Since one month I am now in withdrawal. First major anxiety for 1 week and I can’t take benzos for relief. Then about 1 week the usual body aches, shivering. The 1 week of runs with lope treatment. Now just generally miserable with the three mixed in sometimes. The thing that drives me mad is I don’t understand why. If I could stabilize I would like to taper down and eventually quit the oxy too. But if I can’t even do that? Anybody has any idea what could have happened? I feel something is broken. Would appreciate any reply.
A little background. I used H iv a long time (over 30 years) ago and after forceful withdrawal was clean for about 10 years. Then the occasional pain med for a few years without issues. Then a painful family thing where I experienced panic attacks and was treated with benzos. Well, then one Dr suggested not use as needed but 2mg clonazepam daily. Big mistake. That was 10 years ago. Around the same time diagnosed with cancer, chronic pain after surgery and since then on about 20 later 30 mg oxy daily. I had times not too long ago where I was ok with 20 mg, sometimes even 10 for a few days.
The benzos became an issue together with the oxy, so I decided to quit. With all the help from BL I tapered down after converting to Valium. started about 4 years ago. The process took 2 years, but since then basically benzo free.
Now to my big problem. About 2 month ago, I couldn’t get oxy anymore and was prescribed 60-90 mg morphine orally daily. It was from a hospital so I think it was the real thing, no fent, but I am not certain. After about one month of that I had suddenly extreme panic attacks, possibly paranoia, my mind was scrambled. I was able to get another prescription for oxy again and switched back. That was a month ago. However, I can’t stabilize on the oxy anymore, on 30 mg a day. Since one month I am now in withdrawal. First major anxiety for 1 week and I can’t take benzos for relief. Then about 1 week the usual body aches, shivering. The 1 week of runs with lope treatment. Now just generally miserable with the three mixed in sometimes. The thing that drives me mad is I don’t understand why. If I could stabilize I would like to taper down and eventually quit the oxy too. But if I can’t even do that? Anybody has any idea what could have happened? I feel something is broken. Would appreciate any reply.