Hi guys, it's been a while I havent visited this forum but I've encountered a problem recently and I needed some help.
So, a short resume of my story.
I've had an opioid addiction to dilaudid and this led me to taking methadone 3 years ago. I started at around 75mg but even tho I was taking methadone, I'd still buy and use dilaudid on the first year. I understood that the effect were almost non-existant due to the block that the methadone offers but I'd still do it for the 10-15 seconds rush but even that was toned down by the methadone so after about 8 months I decided to delete everyone of my dealers from my phone and try to take the detox more seriously, and it worked well, until last month.
The goal was that if I don't have access to diladid then I won't have a problem, but I still though in my head that this was just ignorining the problem and putting it away, I wanted to be able to have access to dilaudid, even have them in my possession, and be able to not use them or at least not abuse them in a way that would cause me to become addicted (assuming I ever get out of this first addiction)
But last month my coed came back from surgery at the hospital and they had given him dilaudid 1mg for pain. I didn't know about it at that time but not long after that he came to me to ask me if he should keep them or throw them away since he didn't needed them so I offered to buy them from him. Shortly after, I tried dilaudid again with my usual method, IV and it didn't take long that I had finished all the pills he had given me. The effects were much better than what I remembered because I used to have 75mg methadone back then but it's been 3 years since that time and now my methadone has lowered to 22mg.
I ended up finishing them all quickly and getting more from a contact I remembered. I don't know exactly what I was thinking, probably just thinking about now and not later because I just though that I could simply stop at any time and the methadone would make this go smoothly. I took in total around 275mg of hydromorphone in the past 3 weeks and everytime I've tried to stop, I've felt withdrawals that were really uncomfortable. Sure the first 6 to 8 hours after taking methadone feels ok though I have sudden sweats that lasts around 10 minutes but the evenings, mornings and nights are a nightmare unless I take a pill. What scared me a bit is that yesterday, 8 hours after taking a 2mg injection I started shaking uncontrollably like it was freezing cold and I did feel a bit cold but putting on more clothes did not help and even taking another 2mg did not make the shaking stop. It ended up stoppig after 35-40 minutes.
When I understood just stoping would not work I started taking a bit less each day with what I had left but now I'm a bit scared because I have only 4 pills left (4mg ills) and I'm scared that I won't be able to go back to just taking methadone like before withough being really sick of that things like yesterday happen again and I'm not sure which option is the best for me.
Should I get more pills and try to plan ahead for a taper plan that would be stretched over a couple of weeks or should I ask my doctor to increase my dosage of methadone just to get rid of the pills I have and then go back down to what I was or should I try to taper off using the 4 pills I have with a better method ???
I've heard some people used anti-diharrea medecine to taper but I tried that 3-4 years ago and it didn't work at all for me. I also heard about bupe but I have no idea how to get it or even what it does. All I know is when I got into my clinic they asked me if I wanted to be on the methadone program or the suboxone program and I choose the methadone. If I remember correctly, they said that using both would not work and would actually cause precipitated w/ds.
Any help would be very welcome.
So, a short resume of my story.
I've had an opioid addiction to dilaudid and this led me to taking methadone 3 years ago. I started at around 75mg but even tho I was taking methadone, I'd still buy and use dilaudid on the first year. I understood that the effect were almost non-existant due to the block that the methadone offers but I'd still do it for the 10-15 seconds rush but even that was toned down by the methadone so after about 8 months I decided to delete everyone of my dealers from my phone and try to take the detox more seriously, and it worked well, until last month.
The goal was that if I don't have access to diladid then I won't have a problem, but I still though in my head that this was just ignorining the problem and putting it away, I wanted to be able to have access to dilaudid, even have them in my possession, and be able to not use them or at least not abuse them in a way that would cause me to become addicted (assuming I ever get out of this first addiction)
But last month my coed came back from surgery at the hospital and they had given him dilaudid 1mg for pain. I didn't know about it at that time but not long after that he came to me to ask me if he should keep them or throw them away since he didn't needed them so I offered to buy them from him. Shortly after, I tried dilaudid again with my usual method, IV and it didn't take long that I had finished all the pills he had given me. The effects were much better than what I remembered because I used to have 75mg methadone back then but it's been 3 years since that time and now my methadone has lowered to 22mg.
I ended up finishing them all quickly and getting more from a contact I remembered. I don't know exactly what I was thinking, probably just thinking about now and not later because I just though that I could simply stop at any time and the methadone would make this go smoothly. I took in total around 275mg of hydromorphone in the past 3 weeks and everytime I've tried to stop, I've felt withdrawals that were really uncomfortable. Sure the first 6 to 8 hours after taking methadone feels ok though I have sudden sweats that lasts around 10 minutes but the evenings, mornings and nights are a nightmare unless I take a pill. What scared me a bit is that yesterday, 8 hours after taking a 2mg injection I started shaking uncontrollably like it was freezing cold and I did feel a bit cold but putting on more clothes did not help and even taking another 2mg did not make the shaking stop. It ended up stoppig after 35-40 minutes.
When I understood just stoping would not work I started taking a bit less each day with what I had left but now I'm a bit scared because I have only 4 pills left (4mg ills) and I'm scared that I won't be able to go back to just taking methadone like before withough being really sick of that things like yesterday happen again and I'm not sure which option is the best for me.
Should I get more pills and try to plan ahead for a taper plan that would be stretched over a couple of weeks or should I ask my doctor to increase my dosage of methadone just to get rid of the pills I have and then go back down to what I was or should I try to taper off using the 4 pills I have with a better method ???
I've heard some people used anti-diharrea medecine to taper but I tried that 3-4 years ago and it didn't work at all for me. I also heard about bupe but I have no idea how to get it or even what it does. All I know is when I got into my clinic they asked me if I wanted to be on the methadone program or the suboxone program and I choose the methadone. If I remember correctly, they said that using both would not work and would actually cause precipitated w/ds.
Any help would be very welcome.
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