Need help regarding bad experience with MDMA

[tuboy123]

Okay, so I created this account basically to seek some advice because i've asked my friends about it but I don't feel I can trust their knowledge enough to go on it alone!

Basically I did MDMA for the first time in the summer, at Reading festival, I got an amazing effect the first day I did it, the best feeling i could imagine (what i remember of it anyway).
The first time i took it at reading was on the Friday and as i said the feeling was great and i didn't have any kind of comedown really, I dunno if you are supposed to get one or not. The second time i took it over that weekend was the following day, and this is where i came into problems, after taking it, probably about .15-.2g wrapped in a rizla i felt no effect after probably around 30 mins so i thought it was odd, then finally when i did feel an effect i felt EXTREMELY paranoid like everyone was out to get me and everyone was looking at me, i ended up going to a member of security and sitting with him so i could feel safe. I stayed here for probably about 40 minutes, still feeling extremely paranoid i went and found the Samaritans tent, i didn't know it was a Samaritans tent at the time, just looked like somewhere comfy to sit. I sat and ended up talking to one of the Samaritans for a good few hours which did make me feel a lot safer, but i was paranoid slightly still.
Basically since then i haven't touched it, but i really do want to experience that feeling i had the first time again, and i was just wondering if this is normal or if anyone else has experienced this? what could have caused it?
I thought i should just say, on the Friday when i had the amazing feeling trip at first i felt very sick and light headed as if i was going to pass out and had to sit down then i remember my heart going very very fast, but my friend sat with me and calmed me down.
if there are any questions i should answer to help with an explanation ask away!
ANY input or help would be greatly appreciated, thankyou
If it means anything im a 17 year old male

 

[neonlike]

Even though MDMA is not strictly a psychedelic drug, there are many effects that make the golden rule of the importance of set and setting appropriate. Simply being that your state of mind, state of being and environment will determine the results of your experience - this isn't a science, but being in an uncomfortable or unfamiliar place is going to infinitely increase your chance of having a bad experience.

From what I can gather, having taken the drug for a second time soon after the first, you are trying force your brain to release loads more serotonin before it has been able to recover from losing so much the first time. You don't get high from the drug, the drug allows your brain to let through more of its natural feel-good chemicals than it naturally would do - you get high off your own body.

Add to this the fact that you have sleep deprivation effects from being up all night already, which will make you uncomfortable, weak and kind of delirious anyway and you are asking for too much from your body and brain.

Now put all this in a pot with the fact you are at a festival, surrounded by hundreds of strangers behaving in an unconventional way and you're asking for trouble if you are unfamiliar with the effects (all of them, good and bad) and don't know what to expect. Some people freak out in crowds anyway, straight!

It seems you are asking for advice as to whether to do it again. I would not recommend that anyone takes drugs recreationally, but we are all here on this site for that reason, and harm reduction is the purpose of the site, so I would suggest that you seriously consider the following when making the decision:

Have you had any longer lasting negative effects? Paranoia? Depression? Anxiety?

Are you generally susceptible to these things anyway, regardless of lifestyle?

Do you get paranoid smoking weed etc perhaps?

If the answer to any of these is yes, then you are best to avoid it. And recreational drugs in general.

Keep in mind that at 17 your brain and sense of self is still developing and forming, and at this critical juncture you run the risk of potentially messing things up for yourself seriously.

You can also not be sure that what you took and are going to take again is really what you think you have bought and could be anything that comes as a pill or powder.

With all that said, if you are healthy (physically and mentally), have been sleeping properly and eating properly and take a sensible amount of what is actually MDMA while in a familiar and safe environment, with people you love and who love you... and importantly have genuine experience with the drug (who are probably older) chances are that you could have another great experience.

But that is what it is... A chance. It pretty much always is. I have seen many people start where you are, at your age, who years later end up in a mess and then take even more years later to get back to where they were at 17. I also know people who can control their behaviour well and are very solid with who they are and their relationships, who at 17 could recreationally take drugs now and then who have had mostly positive experiences with a variety of drugs, still.

Not the quick answer you were probably looking for, but anyone who nonchalantly says "yeah, go ahead, it'll be fine" is being at worst a liar or at best careless.

Know your source, know your drug, know yourself, know your friends, know your environment. Read the posts here and experiences at erowid and make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. This goes for most drugs, not just MDMA.

 

[Bearlove]

MDMA works best if you give it a break in between uses - if you use it two days in a row the high can be very different and as your brain is already fried from the previous night then the paranoia you experienced is fairly common. It's the same when you take too much speed / or have been awake a few days etc.

Take into consideration that this was your first time and you were in unfamiliar surroundings with thousands of strangers so the feeling of unease/paranoia would be magnified (different if you were in a home setting with good friends). Did you sleep / eat / hydrate between uses ? All of these things play an important part in how you feel on the second day (if your going to use two days in a row that is).

I'm confident in saying that if you took MDMA again now you would not have the paranoia that you experienced on the second day of the festival and that experience was from taking too much / two days running.

Have fun

 

[JWills20]

You took too much regarding both frequency and dosage. 150-200mg is alot of MDMA for a new user so I'm not surprised that you felt strange. On doses like that (nearer the 200mg mark) the comeup can be really weird and incredibly uncomfortable which, if you're unable to break through, can transfer into the experience as well (or it has for me before). Then again, usually it becomes enjoyable after riding the peak effects of intensity (2+hours), but the fact you took it two days may explain why it never became particularly enjoyable - not enough serotonin availability. You also left the music and went to a setting with sober people who don't understand how you're feeling - this would certainly not help. If you're feeling weird on MDMA usually you just gotta wait it out until you come out of it. I can't think of a much worse thing to do than speak to some skin-head security cunt while peaking. It would probably make me feel uneasy and worried about whether I will be kicked out or something for being 'on drugs'.

You should never roll two days in a row (the odd, rare occasion may be ok). You should take starter doses nearer 100-120mg - this is what all my friends & I enjoy most and we're 80kg 6ft guys - you don't need more without tolerance. In England, we're lucky to have lots of good quality MDMA but you should still consider investing in a test kit. They are super cheap and available to purchase online, just google ecstasy test kits to find out more information. If you're testing your product, taking lower doses and not rolling back-to-back days, then you'll have a great safe time with MDMA - if you decide to partake again.

Welcome to BL! Read around for more useful information on staying safe and having the best time possible.

 

[tuboy123]

Hello, thank-you for all of your replies, I have read through them and they have been very helpful for me to level my head and understand why I think I got the reaction I did. Not to say that I am 100% set on taking it again yet but these replies have definitely educated me and I am very appreciative!
In reply to @neonlike I don't have any lasting effects such as depression, paranoia... and don't get paranoid from smoking weed, what does this mean?
Also, all of my friends told me it was probably because I did it two days in a row which seems to make sense now reading your responses.
If I was to take it again what kind of dosage should I be looking to take? If I was in the setting of my - or a friends house with a few close friends and knew (as well as I could) that it was good quality, probably bought off of SR.
Thank-you Jwills20 & Bearlove!
Also thank-you very much @neonlike for your non-biased view, not sure if that's the right wording, but you have made me understand both sides of it, both the pros & risks at my age.