I'm sorry very sorry to hear this all. I want to begin by saying that I'm also very sorry that I'm an extremely precise person. When I read things I take it all in. I never mean any offense neither so PLEASE understand that and believe it since I DO NOT judge others but rather choose to help them whenever I can (even though I often can't even help myself).......you began by saying that you had none left. You ended by saying that you needed to "flush them or you'd end up taking them". I hope so much that you "flushed" instead of "took" yet that's so much easier said then done considering your predicament. Sadly for many (myself included even though just as you mine were mostly for chronic pain yet I abused them and then unlike you I then sought more from a family member) pills are also a "way out". I believe you live in Canada?? Am I correct? 40-50 k per year here is an awesome income in itself. 50,000 is actually my entire income and I also have all the latest technolical devises and a pool and spa. Sometimes sacrifices must be made though when we reach a challenge. I am going to apologize upfront for being blunt (that's just how I am) but nows the time to tell your husband. He loves you, your friends on here love you and I'm sure anyone that has the pleasure to meet you in person will love you?. Don't give up, don't beat yourself up. Keep "TRYIN"!!!!!!! I am certain your husband won't leave you, you'll find a new job (by all means maybe even a better one in which you'll make more money yet also keep in mind that money does not buy happiness..."luxuries" are fantastic but happiness is priceless), you have a daughter in which you adore and I'm sure who ADORES you to the maximum, your beautiful personality which can be seen by people not even "seeing" you but rather just by the words you speak....I could go on and on but will stop here for now. You went over 6 weeks which I commend you SOOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR!! So if you didn't ditch those pills yet, I hope you have now because to me your not still "imtryin" but STILL "isucceeded" and one little slip up is not going to destroy you. The depression factor of it all will of course bring you "down" for a bit but give it as much time as needed and then go back out there and kick the worlds ass!!!! I wish I knew what you did for a living but I also don't expect you to write that publically. The economy is so very poor but if what you did previously led you up to the top (which is where you deserve to be) then there MUST be something else out there that will take into consideration how high of a position you once had and would be thrilled to employ you!!! I'm sure of it!! I read something last night concerning my illness and it said "Help find a cure yet never forget these four words HOPE, STRENGTH, FAITH AND COURAGE".....those words do NOT just hold true for what I have but also hold true for ALL people. Never give up! Never stop "tryin" and you my dear friend WILL succeed!!!!!!....lots and lots of love to you!!!!!!Hey there.
Noce to hear from you pokemama-I didn't take any more-I didn't have any more. I would need to hit the streets to get any, and I'm pretty sure there is no dealer that will take one look at me and sell me anything!!!
all those pills i took yesterday and I didn't even get a buzz.
I really don't want to live in my reality right now. Without my income, our family lifestyle will change dramatically. We will probably lose our home within 24 months, as I will not have enough money to subsidize for much li ger than that. I can live without our trips, the second car, the latest digital gadget-but our home is so special. And even though I beleive I have at least 20 good working years left, I know that the best money I will get is 40-50k-which is half of what I need to pay all the bills. So after I'm done feeling sorry for myself because I lost my job and I miss my staff and the job itself, I am going to have to face reality that my salary is going to plummet. That is if I even get a new Job someplace. There is no way we get to stay in our home. ( it is not a big house. By any means -but we redid our backyard and put in a pool/spa and really made it a special place to spend time ) now I regret spending all that money. Because it is what is going to make the damn place to expensive to keep. And I get to tell my husband and my daughter. That their lives have to blow up because of me. Fuck
sorry for rambling. I'm going to watch Netflix all night and pretend my life doesn't. Suck
but I didn't take these little stupid blue pills. I'm going to have to flush them, or im going to end up taking them. Taking 5 little blue pills that I have no idea what they Are-that's not fucking crazy? Is it???
Thanks for listening to me
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