xxsicknessxx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2008
- Messages
- 1,015
Well I did it again. I take 2 8mg pills a day I get a 30day supply
im 21 days from being able to refill and already I only have enough for 1 8mg pill a day. I keep over taking it. I don't know why. Im a recovering drug addict with 4 months sober. I live in a clean and sober house. I just find that I deal with lots of stomach pain from a bad gastric bypass suggary I had when I was 19. So I eat, feel sick and take more suboxon then I feel better. Now I just was in the hosptial they told me I need to eat more my iron was so low I had get hooked to a machine for 4 days and my blood counts low all my stats are bad like im starving to death though I eat all day long. Its just a result of my sugary and how intense they did it, they botched it and anyway here I am.
from 19 - 27 now I did drugs, I did them to make me feel better, to get me to work, to eat and to not eat. Its done its damage. Drinking got me the worst. All I take now is about 20 vitemens a day and suboxon and yes I think I can handle the rest of the month taking just one a day but I wont feel good, I won't even feel ok. I know I won't withdrawl which is something but Im going have a hard time eating as much as I need to with out more box.
Any advise? Would I be better off getting off box and on real pain killers seeing how this is why I take more then I should, and that I need something to help me eat. (weed doesn't work anymore becasue it makes me paranoid)
Im in bad health I need to eat more, I need to not be in pain all day. I have over taken my pills before sometimes I end up taking a quarter a box a day untill I can refil so its not new to me, I know I can do it its just long term I see my self doing this again and again.
I notice if I take a clon, or ativan during the day I tend to not abuse the box, so maybe I have anxiety and should ask the doctor about something to take during the day? or maybe I need a stronger pain killer though thats how I ended up getting addicted last time around.
so to recap.
Im in pain, I need pills to eat, suboxon does not work well enough at 2 a day for how much pain relief I need to eat as much as I need and now I only got 1 a day which is going put me in a bad mood (though its my fault) I had a drinking/ opiet problem before but what other choices are there? I dunno.... I could see this gastric bypass killing me someday if I cant figuer out a way to live plus I know I am going to be tempted to take more box. Like i need to eat now but I cant force my self to do it I know half a box would make it easy but I need to safe them and im on a tough budget right now too so I dunno things are complicated.
(opiets help by slowing down my food giving me a better chance to absorb said food plus it helps with getting rid of the pain so I can eat and it helps constipate me which is better then using bathroom 15times a day)
any thoughts
im 21 days from being able to refill and already I only have enough for 1 8mg pill a day. I keep over taking it. I don't know why. Im a recovering drug addict with 4 months sober. I live in a clean and sober house. I just find that I deal with lots of stomach pain from a bad gastric bypass suggary I had when I was 19. So I eat, feel sick and take more suboxon then I feel better. Now I just was in the hosptial they told me I need to eat more my iron was so low I had get hooked to a machine for 4 days and my blood counts low all my stats are bad like im starving to death though I eat all day long. Its just a result of my sugary and how intense they did it, they botched it and anyway here I am.
from 19 - 27 now I did drugs, I did them to make me feel better, to get me to work, to eat and to not eat. Its done its damage. Drinking got me the worst. All I take now is about 20 vitemens a day and suboxon and yes I think I can handle the rest of the month taking just one a day but I wont feel good, I won't even feel ok. I know I won't withdrawl which is something but Im going have a hard time eating as much as I need to with out more box.
Any advise? Would I be better off getting off box and on real pain killers seeing how this is why I take more then I should, and that I need something to help me eat. (weed doesn't work anymore becasue it makes me paranoid)
Im in bad health I need to eat more, I need to not be in pain all day. I have over taken my pills before sometimes I end up taking a quarter a box a day untill I can refil so its not new to me, I know I can do it its just long term I see my self doing this again and again.
I notice if I take a clon, or ativan during the day I tend to not abuse the box, so maybe I have anxiety and should ask the doctor about something to take during the day? or maybe I need a stronger pain killer though thats how I ended up getting addicted last time around.
so to recap.
Im in pain, I need pills to eat, suboxon does not work well enough at 2 a day for how much pain relief I need to eat as much as I need and now I only got 1 a day which is going put me in a bad mood (though its my fault) I had a drinking/ opiet problem before but what other choices are there? I dunno.... I could see this gastric bypass killing me someday if I cant figuer out a way to live plus I know I am going to be tempted to take more box. Like i need to eat now but I cant force my self to do it I know half a box would make it easy but I need to safe them and im on a tough budget right now too so I dunno things are complicated.
(opiets help by slowing down my food giving me a better chance to absorb said food plus it helps with getting rid of the pain so I can eat and it helps constipate me which is better then using bathroom 15times a day)
any thoughts