My permanent psychosis & dopamine receptor damage. Drug combo that really ruined life

[Dopamineresearch]

My permanent psychosis & dopamine receptor damage. Drug combo that really ruined life

I want just share my story about being honest, which is why this story is horrible to read. I will tell you something about the drug combo which gave me permanent psychosis and ruined my dopamine receptors (that´s reason to my psychosis or actually all psychotic problems according to neuroscience) and maybe some of my other parts of brain too.

I got diagnosed psychosis and "limitless" schizophrenia both with several (seven doctors least who have tried to heal me with longer term treatment) different psychiatrist.

I will agree with them because since my last trip (year 2014) I have been different reality than what you can call "normal or safe environment".

Pardon my bad grammar.


I have done cannabis and psychedelics quite much since I was 18 years old. That´s always been quite fun and I have spend tons of fun hours with my friends when we have used cannabis or mushrooms. I have done mushrooms 20 times with regular or high doses before my last and final trip, which is actually still going on..

I also have tried ecstasy two times, amfe 5 times max and research chemicals 2 times. (cant say what chemicals because how you can know that without testing kit)

My cannabis usage was quite regular with high dosages. Some times I smoked couple or more months daily, but I was always able to do my work, university studies or high school studies. (last year of high school I was quite high all time, lol, even if this shit is not funny to me anymore because of my illness.)


Well at year 2014 I had very hard last 2 years and much personal shit going on.

Well DRUG COMBO WHICH RUINED MY LIFE, DO NOT USE
**DANGEROUS COMBO -> PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE** 4 or 3 grams of mushrooms, MDMA, Purbe and MAOis ** BRAIN DAMAGE COMBO, DANGEROUS CAUSES PSYCHOSIS AND PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE IF YOU SURVIVE OR INSTANT DEATH**

So I might be stupid but I was not so stupid that I would order a MAOis and MDMA same time. What happened was that I ordered with dealer shrooms and MDMA but I got instead of that was mushrooms with powder which included Purbe (subutex),MAOis and MDMA. **DANGEROUS DON`T USE**

This is not safe combo in any way. It causes instant death or damages your brain pleasure center and dopamine receptors. Dopamine receptor damage is what can cause permanent psychosis.

And as almost all of you know, psychosis is not a funny thing. It´s living hell and suffering every day.


I don´t know how serious brain damage I got but my psychosis is at very serious level shit i´m dealing with.

My mind produces different reality than normally. That has continued now like 2 years every fucking day.

The trip was pretty good when it started, first 4 hours were quite intresting.

The problem is that the trip never really finished properly. I don´t see ripples on walls every day. I have all time since my trip 2014 used neuroleptics like abilify, risperdal and quetiapine (Seroquel)

But I think this reality I´m dealing with is something much more dangerous than normal trip. (i´m too stupid to explain it to you or a psychiatrist)

Sorry about quick writing. This is my first post to here.

If you have something to ask, please do that.

 

[Xorkoth]

Hey, welcome, yeah an MAOI and MDMA together can definitely be fatal, I'm glad you emphasized that so much in your post. Sorry you're dealing with all this. Do you have good times and bad times?

 

[pupnik]

how is reality experienced day to day, differently than it would be without the 'damage'

 

[Dopamineresearch]

Hey, welcome, yeah an MAOI and MDMA together can definitely be fatal, I'm glad you emphasized that so much in your post. Sorry you're dealing with all this. Do you have good times and bad times?

Yeah, that was fatal even if I survived. Afterwards I wish I would have died on that combo and overdose, because my psychosis is so painfull to deal almost everyday.

To your question I have good and bad times. Today is quite hard day.

I would say that I have far more hard times than the good days after I got ill at 2014. Now Im far more better condition than I was in year 2015 if I include whole years perspective off my well being.

Just today starting a new medicine whom my doctor suggested that I should try. I start slowly reduce the use of Queatapine (Seroquel) according to my doctors orders and I think I will totaly stop using Seroquel after a one month or two and continue with the new medicine.

I think this will be my last try to get even remotely well before moving to Belgium and getting euthanasia or doing suicide. (I would not prefer commiting suicide and stick to getting euthanasia)

But I have still some good days =)

 

[Dopamineresearch]

how is reality experienced day to day, differently than it would be without the 'damage'

Well I think my brain produces some parts of reality which are not real in any way. But my brains does it quite intelligently in that means that the parts it produces mostly will merge to normal reality so I have hard times figuring out what is real and what is just my imagination. Those parts my brain develops over normal reality are causing me quite a lot mental pain.

"Psychosis is an abnormal condition of the mind that involves a "loss of contact with reality". In properly diagnosed psychiatric disorders (where other causes have been excluded by extensive medical and biological laboratory tests), psychosis is a descriptive term for the hallucinations, delusions and impaired insight that may occur.^[5][7] Psychosis is generally the term given to noticeable deficits in normal behavior (negative signs) and more commonly to diverse types of hallucinations or delusional beliefs, particularly with regard to the relation between self and others as in grandiosity and pronoia or paranoia." - Wikipedia


Because my reality is so painfull it causes me naturally some sort of paranoia.

 

[mr peabody]

Man, so sorry to hear that.

May I humbly ask are you using cannabis? I have the impression that cannabis can actually sustain abnormal conditions like this. Just wondering if you've tried stopping that for a while.

Much love.

 

[pupnik]

@Dopamine research,
thanks for the explanation,
in general, what specifically is your mind layering over reality that is bothering you.

I might interject, that eyes are not cameras, and what they deliver to the brain is grainy and spotty but our brains piece it all together like a panoramic camera effect from your cellphone. there is always lots of brain action modifying what the eyes deliver, and the same goes for hearing.

similarly what the ears deliver is way different than what we experience as sound due to the brain separating and joining things.

If you are looking for the way things looked when you were 14 or 15, well that was then, and even then, your version of it was uniquely yours.

 

[JackARoe]

^ Pretty cool pupnic. I learned from that.

@Dopamine research - Stop with the permanent affirmation. You type and sound more normal than regular people. At any given time the human body is either moving towards getting healthier or sicker. Affirm that you are getting healthier. Go in that direction. Digest and integrate whatever issue is affecting you. You'll make it through. But stop with the permanent affirmation. I learned that from psychedelics and digesting a few things. You're ok. MAOI's and mixing some of the bad interaction drugs seems very dangerous though so thanks for the warning. You posted to warn and help people as well as get help for yourself. Affirm that instead of thinking permanent.

I hope you have a better week. And listen to some of the veterans like the good people that responded.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

sorry to hear you're suffering but thanks for sharing. Did the dealer mix all that shit together and give it to people? he should be arrested or beaten physically badly.

I would like to hear more on pupniks last question which is "can you give us examples on what types of things your brain layers over reality?" is it visual objects u see that arent there? Do you imagine events are happening in reality that are really not? Do you hear voices? Can you give a specific example of this that occurred on you?

And 2 years is a long time but I have definitely seen ppl on here recover from mdma comedowns after 2 years.

do you think its basically that this overdose just blow up your schizophrenia which was previously diagnosed to larger levels?