My moms lost her mind

[PurifiedDrinkingWater]

I don't even know how I would even go about explaining this situation. So my mom is a huge benzo addict not as bad as she once was thank god. So she gets them once a month now and when she uses it's the worst time of my life because growing up that's all I remember of her. When she uses she stands up passing out, makes huge messes and whenever somebody tries to help her she starts getting mad like we are picking on her and she becomes very argumentive.
Fast-forward to yesterday she came across some Xanax instead of her usual K-pins and did the entire passing out thing. When she woke up she was different and in my words lost her mind. She's accusing us of stealing her pills out of her pocket, she's crying one minute and mad the next minute. She's making things up that never happened, accusing her husband of stealing, she rambling and mumbling around the house. She cleaned the entire house looking for these damn pills. I'm afraid she either has gone into acute psychosis or it's the Xanax that's causing all this. She's not really after me as much as she is her husband. She comes to me with these ideas on what happened and tries to find parts of his story that she thinks are a lie.

I'm not knocking her at all for using because I use too just a different drug though. What are some ways of talking to her and maybe getting through to her just to let her know that they are just pills and nothing more? This other subject I'm bringing up I will intentionally leave out the bad parts of the story for privacy. My mom has told me stories about how her dad used to act when she was a kid. Examples getting mad because he didn't have any more alcohol left, accusing others of drinking it, and a how a lot of other stories. It came to my attention that she's almost replaying those moments through her actions and that's not just with this incident but the entire 6 months i have been living with her. Can people play out their emotional and abusive pasts without knowing it? Sorry for that last question if it doesn't fit the subject of the thread.

I'm going to try and talk with her just to let her know that everything is okay. She has always wanted to have deep talks with me and just talk about things in general maybe I can make her a deal.

 

[neversickanymore]

sorry your dealing with this. Sounds like alcoholic behavior. Does she also drink with the benzodiazepines?

 

[PurifiedDrinkingWater]

sorry your dealing with this. Sounds like alcoholic behavior. Does she also drink with the benzodiazepines?

No, she doesn't drink because of her dad and what she went through with that. She's clearly frustrated and that's totally fine I just wish I could do something to help her unfortunately I do not know her enough yet to understand her.

 

[neversickanymore]

Sounds like she is looking for total escape from something. Anyway you could help her get into counseling.. possibly someone that specializes in trauma and substance abuse.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Sounds like she is looking for total escape from something. Anyway you could help her get into counseling.. possibly someone that specializes in trauma and substance abuse.

Yes, it sounds to me like she was traumatized by her dad's behavior and has somehow simultaneously adopted his behavior, trading alcohol for benzos.

@PurifiedDrinkingWater As you may or may not know, a counselor (LPC = Licensed Professional Counselor) that specializes in trauma and substance abuse would be able to talk with your mom and help her eventually understand that she is acting out in the same way her father did with alcohol. A good counselor would probably not say that outright, but rather ask your mom questions and lead her to come to that conclusion seemingly on her own.

The difficult part is convincing her to see a counselor because in your mom's eyes, she likely does not believe she has a problem. I would try to take advantage of one of your heart-to-heart conversations with her and see if she can recall some of her father's past behaviors with alcohol. If she can remember the pain it brought her, maybe you could try to make some parallels with her current behavior without actually saying, "Look Mom, you're acting just like your dad." Saying something that abrupt could possibly close off the communication and leave her resenting you. But if you could get her to understand that you love her and don't like seeing her this way, maybe you could gently persuade her to see a counselor and let the counselor shoulder the heavy load of helping her work through these things.

 

[RedRum OG]

She should probably (medical supervised) detox, which will be absolutely horrid, but necessary. Then, get some serious emotional help, too.

When I was hooked heavily on benzos, I was in absolute la-la land, and the detox was even worse. Talking to friends who weren't in the room, forgetting entire weeks, thinking people couldn't see things I did right in front of them... Heavy benzo use can make you pretty delusional. Made my heroin addiction seem like a walk in the park.

 

[cdin]

She should probably (medical supervised) detox, which will be absolutely horrid, but necessary. Then, get some serious emotional help, too.

When I was hooked heavily on benzos, I was in absolute la-la land, and the detox was even worse. Talking to friends who weren't in the room, forgetting entire weeks, thinking people couldn't see things I did right in front of them... Heavy benzo use can make you pretty delusional. Made my heroin addiction seem like a walk in the park.

i would withdraw 1000 times again from heroin to not do one more serious benzo wd.

 

[PurifiedDrinkingWater]

I want to thank everyone that has responded to this thread. She's doing better and has apologized for acting out against us.

 

[Fourofakind]

Dont want to bump the thread without a at least relevant post, i hope to help here, remembering one experience.

That happened exactly to me with a bottle of xanax, i was young.... around 19, and got them prescribed but i was abusing at least one time of everything recreative drug i found.

I lost all the xanax, dont remember almost any, but my family said i was asking them for the xanax, and saying they hide it to me becouse they know my drug use and abuse,

One day, around 2 weeks after that, my mom found in the garage at different places the xanax tables, so i rapid admited and feel shame for my amnesia lapse, i dont remember any, my lovely mother even gave me the pills, and after that, i havent used benzos for a high, but im rn using klonopin 2mg daily.

Amnesia is very common, and lack of inhibitions, she didnt becape psychotic, just really dont remember anything about where he put their pills, but remember to have saved them, or have the feeling of remembering that, i guess she dont remember taked all of them or where store the left ones.

I know how a high benzo dose can transform a person to a non inhibited person doing or saying things they will not do or say never in a regular benzo dose, in this situation, just keep the person safe, dont discuss with them, dont be scared, but just for security hide all things that can make considerable damage to anyone at the house, idk what medical help will do in your country if call them about benzo od, maybe they can revert it, not in my country, so thats the way, let the time goes and person will back to normal.

Looks like your mom is using high benzo doses, mainly cuz deinhibition and argumentative behaivor you talk about, so, try to find why she is using such high doses, and how can overcome that abuse, dont worry if she chronically use them, at least is much safer than daily long term abuse of benzos... maybe she will not feel as good with the lowered dose... but find one regular and controlled dose where she feels comfortable, but doesnt change the behaivour so much, a dose that keep she without feeling withdrawals, but at the same time she can remember everything and keep the inhibitions in control, my dose really helps me tons with anxiety and feeling and doing good thiings trought the days, but im not thinking about take more than my actual dose, 2mg kpin daily, and im not searching for amnesic drugs.... only have alcohol binges alone when i feel like shit, but all ends in me falling asleep without remembering last moments before, when i was younger, i used to drink harder and do all kind of stupid stuff, are symilar drugs in the way they work, but not the same drug, alcohol is much more dangerous at chronic abuse for the mind and body IMO, and more enojyable than the benzos...

I hope your mom takes the decision of have a better life quality, is not nice to live with addictions, i have used daily drugs around half of my entire life... but there is a point where you see that make changes in that habits will be good for you, and the will of a change is all that can help, dont overload her with this, its really annoying when the dependence is hardcore, but, find a way to make her think about control their benzo use, dont force anything, and make her like your friend, grow confidence, compression, but at the same time let her know when you think she is doing innapropiate things, all that in the right order can help a lot in the process.

Obviously, when she decide to at least control the dosage, a medic need to take the control of the dose, but if you find shitty medics that are very agressive with patient medication changes and she or anyone doesnt feel comfortable in any way, search another one, fast.