MissAmazingRachel
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2013
- Messages
- 41
Hey y'all,
I posted my situation in the Loperamide Mega Thread, but, figured I'd post my actual experiment here.
To make another long story short -- I injured my shoulder in '06, screwed around with opiate pain meds in '07 (wasn't very educated and checked myself into a bupe rehab in '08), then got back on pain meds in '09 and have been on heavy-duty meds ever since - 30mg roxicodones 8x a day and 40mg oxycontins 2x a day.
My PM doc began tapering me down early-ish this year, and then lost his license, which led me to a practitioner at a PCP practice taking over my taper in the early summer. They never UA'd me and never made me sign a contract, but sprang a UA on me last week and found some other things in my system (I'm also an MMJ patient, which she knows about), and gave me half my script and said I'd have to meet with the Doc on the 26th to discuss my results, and if he agreed to continue treating me, make me sign a contract with UA's.
I have a strong indication that he's just going to cut me off, so I've decided to do a rapid opiate taper on my own, utilizing loperamide, and it's been suggested I add Clonidine and benzos (only at night, PRN; sooo not looking for another damn physical dependence).
I want to make sure that the loperamide is going to help in the first place, because I am NOT about to say "hey, no thanks, I got this" on the 26th if I'm just going to wind up suffering hideous withdrawals anyway.
I want to take one day of NO opiate pain meds - I plan on starting tomorrow - and just use the lope, to see if I can hack it.
I'm really not sure what to do from there -- if the lope is working, should I just stop tapering my meds altogether and switch to the lope exclusively, if I should continue tapering my meds down and then start using the lope at the end of it, etc...I'm pretty fucking nervous, and scared, to be honest with you; y'all know how horrible withdrawals are, and I'd do just about anything to get through them with as little pain as possible.
Will definitely post my results tomorrow, and again, any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated
**derp, guess I should mention that I've tapered down to somewheres about 60-100mg (varies, honestly; but I'll be keeping a close watch on my intake)**
*****HERE...WE...GO******
I spent the last two weeks rapidly tapering myself off my meds, with the first week utilizing mostly just the loperamide, and the last week utilizing some loperamide, a lot of gabapentin, and in the last 2-3 days, adding kratom.
Week One: the loperamide has had a hideous effect on my intestinal tract; the complete opposite of constipation...I'd be lying if I said it didn't help; I was able to taper myself down to 60mg and STICK with it (which has always been my problem; I can never stay at the intended tapered dose), but, willpower and loperamide won. Minor withdrawal symptoms, but, persistent. I'm not entirely thrilled with the results, and decide to introduce some gabapentin I've procured.
Week Two: the combination of loperamide and gabapentin have allowed me to taper down another 20mg in TWO DAYS...however, I'm still experiencing some uncomfortable symptoms, and suddenly remember my old friend, KRATOM...I buy 2oz of powdered and crushed leaf Bali, and the remaining two days - two days before my appointment - I've managed to COMFORTABLY stick to 40mg of roxi - 20mg in the morning and 20mg before bed.
November 21st -- the doctor is actually very kind, considerate, and helpful - I expected sneering and to be looked down on, but the man actually APOLOGIZED and SYMPATHIZED, and patted me on the back and gave me just about everything I asked for - Clonidine and Flexiril (no Soma, but hey, that's ok)...he's also very cool with me utilizing MMJ for the insomnia; I KNEW he looked like someone who would be =) I took my very last 20mg of roxi that night. Took the Clonidine around 2am and hit the sack at 4am.
DAY ONE -- I woke up in withdrawal, and immediately went for 5-6g of powdered kratom. Withdrawals vanished within the hour, and I felt comfortable and completely NORMAL. Headed over to the moms for a weekend of detox - hey, having a parent's support helps - but I feel so good, I feel I just might really be able to do this. I take around 15-20g of kratom the first day, spread out, and feel fucking amazing.
Chemicals ingested: .001 Clonidine, 30mg of Flexiril (spread out in 10mg increments), 800mg neurontin, 15-20g kratom
DAY TWO - SOMETHING IS VERY, VERY WRONG...I woke up in withdrawal, stood up and semi-fainted on the way to the kitchen (you know; white lights, tunnel vision, but you have the sense to grab a counter on the way down and cling to it before you go unconscious for a second)...I made my kratom tea, and find I'm unable to swallow much and what I can, I throw back up - I do have a lap-band, and it felt as if my stomach and esophagus were extremely swollen; swallowing my own saliva makes everything constrict - so I spent the majority of the day in horrible, sickly withdrawal, being unable to ingest any kratom. Wanted to just DIE.
*I have two theories - I either ingested too much of the kratom powder and it expanded in my stomach pouch, OR, I ate something that contained a spice I'm allergic to...either way, steering clear of both.
Chemicals ingested: .001 Clonidine, 10mg Flexiril, and maybe 2g of kratom.
DAY THREE - the swelling has gone down, but I'm still having trouble getting liquids down. I've wasted nearly all my kratom and pray my next batch will be there the next morning. I'm able to take my meds, and they do help quite a bit, but another really terrible withdrawal symptom arises and -- avert your eyes, to protect your delicate sensibilities! - I spend the whole day in the bathroom; literally every 10 fucking minutes....two days of nothing but liquid and leftover kratom powder will do that, I suppose. My stomach finally relaxes towards the end of the night and I am able to drink some kratom tea, but food is still out of the question. My heart rate skyrocketed, in spite of the Clonidine and the few grams of kratom, but I'm amazed that regardless, my withdrawal symptoms are very, very minor.
(Even weirder - again, avert your eyes! - is that despite being unable to ingest much, I'm still hauling ass to the bathroom every 10 mins or so, and am producing nothing but kratom powder...gross)
Chemicals ingested: .002mg Clonidine (morning and night), 20mg Flexiril, 2-4g kratom.
DAY FOUR - Woke up feeling weak, light-headed, and just overall shitty. I am able to drink without much trouble, but I only had 1-2g of kratom left. It wasn't enough, and I spent much of the morning feeling like dead shit. I'm cold, my muscles are spazzing out, I can't even stand in the shower; I had to lay in the tub and force my arms to work. Took 800mg of gabapentin and 12mg loperamide and they relieve most of the withdrawal symptoms; I'm now just weak from not eating since Friday.
My kratom finally came around 12:30, made 6.5g tea and drank a Slimfast protein drink for energy and by the time I got to work at 2:30, I feel a truckload better. I started slamming water and another Slimfast, to cure my dehydration and by 5pm, I'm able to eat solid foods and don't feel any withdrawals AT ALL. Made a ton of Bali and Maeng Da teas and just casually take a sip here and there throughout my shift. I'm now home, having ingested another cup of kratom tea, and I simply cannot believe how good I feel.
Chemicals ingested: 800mg gabapentin, 12mg loperamide, .002 Clonidine, 10mg Flexiril, and around 10-15g kratom.
I will continue to update, but I do want to say this now -- in the last 4-5 years, I have not gone any longer than 24 hours without pain medication; never in a million years would I have thought it possible to go FOUR DAYS - hey, it's a damn good start - without taking a single opiate pill. I'm quite aware that I'll have to begin tapering my kratom dosage, but compared to the OMG-KILL-ME withdrawals of roxicodone/oxycontin, I think I can manage kratom tapering just fine =)
Oh, yeah, btw, FUCK THE LOPERAMIDE...in retrospect, the FUCK was I thinking?...sure, it kind of helped, but it made my liver/gallbladder hurt like crazy and it made me shit like crazy...for me, it definitely wasn't even close to helping take a decent-enough portion of the withdrawals away...when used in conjunction with the kratom, gabapentin, and now the Clonidine and Flexiril, sure, it's definitely helpful, but, on its own, NOT ENOUGH.
Four days down, seven-to-ten to go!!
****UPDATE******
Reached the ONE WEEK mark with very little-to-no discomfort =)
I'm 11 days in, and it's been wonderful. My major complaints are non-stop diarrhea and some minor muscle aches at times...oh, and being cold as shit...what a wonderfully minor withdrawal this is!!
I posted my situation in the Loperamide Mega Thread, but, figured I'd post my actual experiment here.
To make another long story short -- I injured my shoulder in '06, screwed around with opiate pain meds in '07 (wasn't very educated and checked myself into a bupe rehab in '08), then got back on pain meds in '09 and have been on heavy-duty meds ever since - 30mg roxicodones 8x a day and 40mg oxycontins 2x a day.
My PM doc began tapering me down early-ish this year, and then lost his license, which led me to a practitioner at a PCP practice taking over my taper in the early summer. They never UA'd me and never made me sign a contract, but sprang a UA on me last week and found some other things in my system (I'm also an MMJ patient, which she knows about), and gave me half my script and said I'd have to meet with the Doc on the 26th to discuss my results, and if he agreed to continue treating me, make me sign a contract with UA's.
I have a strong indication that he's just going to cut me off, so I've decided to do a rapid opiate taper on my own, utilizing loperamide, and it's been suggested I add Clonidine and benzos (only at night, PRN; sooo not looking for another damn physical dependence).
I want to make sure that the loperamide is going to help in the first place, because I am NOT about to say "hey, no thanks, I got this" on the 26th if I'm just going to wind up suffering hideous withdrawals anyway.
I want to take one day of NO opiate pain meds - I plan on starting tomorrow - and just use the lope, to see if I can hack it.
I'm really not sure what to do from there -- if the lope is working, should I just stop tapering my meds altogether and switch to the lope exclusively, if I should continue tapering my meds down and then start using the lope at the end of it, etc...I'm pretty fucking nervous, and scared, to be honest with you; y'all know how horrible withdrawals are, and I'd do just about anything to get through them with as little pain as possible.
Will definitely post my results tomorrow, and again, any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated
**derp, guess I should mention that I've tapered down to somewheres about 60-100mg (varies, honestly; but I'll be keeping a close watch on my intake)**
*****HERE...WE...GO******
I spent the last two weeks rapidly tapering myself off my meds, with the first week utilizing mostly just the loperamide, and the last week utilizing some loperamide, a lot of gabapentin, and in the last 2-3 days, adding kratom.
Week One: the loperamide has had a hideous effect on my intestinal tract; the complete opposite of constipation...I'd be lying if I said it didn't help; I was able to taper myself down to 60mg and STICK with it (which has always been my problem; I can never stay at the intended tapered dose), but, willpower and loperamide won. Minor withdrawal symptoms, but, persistent. I'm not entirely thrilled with the results, and decide to introduce some gabapentin I've procured.
Week Two: the combination of loperamide and gabapentin have allowed me to taper down another 20mg in TWO DAYS...however, I'm still experiencing some uncomfortable symptoms, and suddenly remember my old friend, KRATOM...I buy 2oz of powdered and crushed leaf Bali, and the remaining two days - two days before my appointment - I've managed to COMFORTABLY stick to 40mg of roxi - 20mg in the morning and 20mg before bed.
November 21st -- the doctor is actually very kind, considerate, and helpful - I expected sneering and to be looked down on, but the man actually APOLOGIZED and SYMPATHIZED, and patted me on the back and gave me just about everything I asked for - Clonidine and Flexiril (no Soma, but hey, that's ok)...he's also very cool with me utilizing MMJ for the insomnia; I KNEW he looked like someone who would be =) I took my very last 20mg of roxi that night. Took the Clonidine around 2am and hit the sack at 4am.
DAY ONE -- I woke up in withdrawal, and immediately went for 5-6g of powdered kratom. Withdrawals vanished within the hour, and I felt comfortable and completely NORMAL. Headed over to the moms for a weekend of detox - hey, having a parent's support helps - but I feel so good, I feel I just might really be able to do this. I take around 15-20g of kratom the first day, spread out, and feel fucking amazing.
Chemicals ingested: .001 Clonidine, 30mg of Flexiril (spread out in 10mg increments), 800mg neurontin, 15-20g kratom
DAY TWO - SOMETHING IS VERY, VERY WRONG...I woke up in withdrawal, stood up and semi-fainted on the way to the kitchen (you know; white lights, tunnel vision, but you have the sense to grab a counter on the way down and cling to it before you go unconscious for a second)...I made my kratom tea, and find I'm unable to swallow much and what I can, I throw back up - I do have a lap-band, and it felt as if my stomach and esophagus were extremely swollen; swallowing my own saliva makes everything constrict - so I spent the majority of the day in horrible, sickly withdrawal, being unable to ingest any kratom. Wanted to just DIE.
*I have two theories - I either ingested too much of the kratom powder and it expanded in my stomach pouch, OR, I ate something that contained a spice I'm allergic to...either way, steering clear of both.
Chemicals ingested: .001 Clonidine, 10mg Flexiril, and maybe 2g of kratom.
DAY THREE - the swelling has gone down, but I'm still having trouble getting liquids down. I've wasted nearly all my kratom and pray my next batch will be there the next morning. I'm able to take my meds, and they do help quite a bit, but another really terrible withdrawal symptom arises and -- avert your eyes, to protect your delicate sensibilities! - I spend the whole day in the bathroom; literally every 10 fucking minutes....two days of nothing but liquid and leftover kratom powder will do that, I suppose. My stomach finally relaxes towards the end of the night and I am able to drink some kratom tea, but food is still out of the question. My heart rate skyrocketed, in spite of the Clonidine and the few grams of kratom, but I'm amazed that regardless, my withdrawal symptoms are very, very minor.
(Even weirder - again, avert your eyes! - is that despite being unable to ingest much, I'm still hauling ass to the bathroom every 10 mins or so, and am producing nothing but kratom powder...gross)
Chemicals ingested: .002mg Clonidine (morning and night), 20mg Flexiril, 2-4g kratom.
DAY FOUR - Woke up feeling weak, light-headed, and just overall shitty. I am able to drink without much trouble, but I only had 1-2g of kratom left. It wasn't enough, and I spent much of the morning feeling like dead shit. I'm cold, my muscles are spazzing out, I can't even stand in the shower; I had to lay in the tub and force my arms to work. Took 800mg of gabapentin and 12mg loperamide and they relieve most of the withdrawal symptoms; I'm now just weak from not eating since Friday.
My kratom finally came around 12:30, made 6.5g tea and drank a Slimfast protein drink for energy and by the time I got to work at 2:30, I feel a truckload better. I started slamming water and another Slimfast, to cure my dehydration and by 5pm, I'm able to eat solid foods and don't feel any withdrawals AT ALL. Made a ton of Bali and Maeng Da teas and just casually take a sip here and there throughout my shift. I'm now home, having ingested another cup of kratom tea, and I simply cannot believe how good I feel.
Chemicals ingested: 800mg gabapentin, 12mg loperamide, .002 Clonidine, 10mg Flexiril, and around 10-15g kratom.
I will continue to update, but I do want to say this now -- in the last 4-5 years, I have not gone any longer than 24 hours without pain medication; never in a million years would I have thought it possible to go FOUR DAYS - hey, it's a damn good start - without taking a single opiate pill. I'm quite aware that I'll have to begin tapering my kratom dosage, but compared to the OMG-KILL-ME withdrawals of roxicodone/oxycontin, I think I can manage kratom tapering just fine =)
Oh, yeah, btw, FUCK THE LOPERAMIDE...in retrospect, the FUCK was I thinking?...sure, it kind of helped, but it made my liver/gallbladder hurt like crazy and it made me shit like crazy...for me, it definitely wasn't even close to helping take a decent-enough portion of the withdrawals away...when used in conjunction with the kratom, gabapentin, and now the Clonidine and Flexiril, sure, it's definitely helpful, but, on its own, NOT ENOUGH.
Four days down, seven-to-ten to go!!
****UPDATE******
Reached the ONE WEEK mark with very little-to-no discomfort =)
I'm 11 days in, and it's been wonderful. My major complaints are non-stop diarrhea and some minor muscle aches at times...oh, and being cold as shit...what a wonderfully minor withdrawal this is!!
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