Opiate_Euphoria
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2010
- Messages
- 13
Hello everyone, I wanted to share with you my experience of overcoming panic attacks when using Cannabis.
I first experemented with Cannabis at the age of 14. I knew little of what the effects of this drug would be. I had only known what I had seen from television and from a few friends.
My very first time smoking Cannabis, was a ciggarette with the tabbacco emptied, and some low/mid grade product stuffed back in. My mindset was excited to try this substance since it was so famous. Myself and two other friends smoked the poorly stuffed ciggarette in an ally way after school. Being a complete novice to smoking anything, I only ended up taking 4-5 very very small puffs. The effects were minimal, the light from the sun seemed much brighter and I had a strange shift in my perception. Soon a was experiencing mild paranoia. I was walking home after the smoking session and I remember promising myself I was never going to smoke weed again and I had made a really bad choice. Over all, the experience was very mild.
After coming down from my experience I was able to reflect upon it and laugh off my paranoia. This gave way to my first time being truely high.
It was a cool fall evening, I was 14 years old, I wanted to experiment once again with Cannabis. Two friends who were older than me, and much, much more experience with Cannabis picked me up from my house. We had planned on smoking on this evening but I was feeling pretty nervous about it, since I had been so paranoid from my previous experience. We proceeded to a parking lot of a local Wal-Mart where we filled an Apple Martini cigar wrap with some lower quality mid grade. We then drove out to local park and began to smoke. We ended up smoking it all, hotbox style in my friend's car. I wasn't feeling much effect from the Cannabis when we were done, just a mild acceleration of my heart rate (Approx. 100bpm) We pulled away and were driving down the highway when it hit me. A sudden rush of what I can only call pure ecstasy engulfed my entire being. It was as if I could feel the THC in my blood being pumped into my brain. A massive tingling sensation not unlike when a limb "falls asleep" coarsed threw my brain. I felt so empathetic and loving, nothing was wrong in the world. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest but this was of no concern to me. All I could manage to do was express my deep affection of love for my friends and how amazing I felt. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out like a dog and the cool air just felt so right. My memory soon began to fade from this point. I experience a floating sensation when I attempeted to walk, and I apparently was talking to myself (from what they told me) My memory ends there.
That was the first, and last time I experienced pure Euphoria from Cannabis. From that night on, I was obsessed with feeling that way again, and soon began to smoke on a regular basis. Only now the drug took a sinister turn. Smoking soon began to lead to paranoid thoughts, and eventually full blown intoxicated panic attacks.
I will describe my most intense experience with Cannabis, which brought on what is best discribed as pure overwhelming terror. I must note I was taking prescription Dextroamphetamine (30mg) daily for atleast 6 weeks prior to this experience.
It was again, a cool autumn evening a year later. I was in a car with a 'friend' and two of his friends who were giving us a ride to a local town where we had plans to go out to eat with him and my girlfriend. We were driving down the highway when they pulled out a pipe and some Cannabis. I was still very novice to cannabis at this point and little did I know that the product in which I was about to indulge in was quite potent. Still to this day I have yet to smoke anything stronger than what was consumed that night. We began passing around bowls and taking hits. By the time we arrived to my girlfriends house, I had had about 6 hits and was very high. I walked inside her house and the light just inside the door was blinding, I could hardly open my eyes it was so bright (it was just a normall light that anyone who was not high wouldnt have thought twice about) I was apparently talking strangley and stumbling around a bit. We proceeded to the resturant and on the way I payed for a bowl to smoke to myself. This was a mistake I was soon going to regret. I smoked the whole bowl torching it and taking as big of hits as I could manage. When we walked in, it began to hit me. My heart was soon beating at a rate of approx. 150bpm. We were seated, and soon I was lost in time dilation. My thoughts took a sinister turn, I soon became paranoid that I had smoked too much and was going to die. Every heart beat seemed to be faster and harder than the previous. My thoughts began to speed up to the point of not being able to control them even slightly. The edges of objects were glinting, almost relflecting light. I kept telling my friends I was too high to be in public and needed to leave NOW. My vision began to become choppy. When I shifted my vision side to side I it was like i was seeing each frame move way too slow. This was WAY beyond any high I had previously had with Cannabis and I was panicing. I grabbed my girlfriend's arm and was begging her to take me outside, I was litterally crying in terror. I apparently had grabbed her so hard I left brusies. I closed my eyes and had the sensation that I was outside of my body, almost exactly like a 3rd person video game. It was like a vaccum was sucking me at an angle up and back out of my head. When I opened my eyes the world popped into focus and I found myself unable to understand what the people around me where saying. Everyone soon became a malevolent entitiy who only wanted to harm me and make me feel worse. I felt as if I had been sitting there, in what I can only describe as Hell for hours already, but infact It had been only 5-10 minutes. The waiter came to take our orders and I couldnt formulate a coherent setense and sent him away without ordering any food. I couldn't follow a train of thought for more than a few seconds. I just sat there feeling every heart beat pound away feeling nothing but utter and complete terror. I had never felt anything more indiscribabley intense and terrifying. I was in hell. I was stuck here for all eternity for being a bad person. There was nothing I could do to escape this. This was my new reality. My heart rate at this point was no less than 175bpm and my body was shaking. I began to plead with my friends to get me out of this place. Paranoid thoughts overcame my entire being and everyone was staring at me, the all knew my situation and didn't care. Eventually, after over an hour of being in hell we left, I was having difficulty walking and was almost catonic. The high was reducing in intensity, but hung around for a solid 5 more hours.
From that night on, I was never the same. Even the tought of Weed made me feel uncomfortable. Every time I smoked even a small amount (enough to get a buzz) I found myself pacing and being paranoid. I could no longer enjoy the drug that once gave me indiscribable Euphoria.
I eventually gave up on trying to find that bliss. I stopped smoking for years and eventually decided to try once more, only to find myself in the same situation having an extreme panic attack. This time I was hearing voices and having delusions much like psychosis.
Then after an extremely difficult period in my life where i could no longer function after a break up with my girlfriend I found myself completely unable to function. I was suicidal and decided I need help. I began to take Sertraline (Zoloft) 50MG daily. After a few weeks I began to think more rationally about my life and no longer was obessing about suicide and my break up. This was about 3 years after my first Cannabis expereince.
A little over a month after starting the Zoloft I decided to try to smoke again. This time I purchased some Alprazolam and took about 2MG before my smoke session and I found myself enjoying the high. It was strange, I wasn't paranoid and didn't have delerium. I soon found myself buying Clonazepam and popping up to 4mg before smoking to avoid the panic. The Sertraline and Clonazepam and completely erased any fear, anxiety, and paranoia from being high. I was able to smoke as much as I desired with no I'll effects. It was great!
Then I decided to give it a go without any benzo's. Just the sertraline. I became somewhat paranoid, and a bit anxious but I was able to talk myself down, something I had never been able to do before. I was able to think rationally again, I was not going to die, I was not going to be crazy forever. I was just high. This was amazing.
One night I was smoking, I had no tolerence. I smoked about 5 hits and held them in as long as I could. I was soon very high, my heart was racing and my head tingling. I began to worry that I was going to have a panic attack. I was about the third highest I'd been in my life and yet I was able to talk myself down. I thought, hey, I've been this high before, and I didn't go permanetly insane. The high was going to end in a few hours, I should just enjoy my altered mind state.
I had conquered my Panic attacks... I hope you enjoyed reading this. Feel free to ask any questions. I hope anyone out there who has experienced the same panic will find this a very hopefull read!
I first experemented with Cannabis at the age of 14. I knew little of what the effects of this drug would be. I had only known what I had seen from television and from a few friends.
My very first time smoking Cannabis, was a ciggarette with the tabbacco emptied, and some low/mid grade product stuffed back in. My mindset was excited to try this substance since it was so famous. Myself and two other friends smoked the poorly stuffed ciggarette in an ally way after school. Being a complete novice to smoking anything, I only ended up taking 4-5 very very small puffs. The effects were minimal, the light from the sun seemed much brighter and I had a strange shift in my perception. Soon a was experiencing mild paranoia. I was walking home after the smoking session and I remember promising myself I was never going to smoke weed again and I had made a really bad choice. Over all, the experience was very mild.
After coming down from my experience I was able to reflect upon it and laugh off my paranoia. This gave way to my first time being truely high.
It was a cool fall evening, I was 14 years old, I wanted to experiment once again with Cannabis. Two friends who were older than me, and much, much more experience with Cannabis picked me up from my house. We had planned on smoking on this evening but I was feeling pretty nervous about it, since I had been so paranoid from my previous experience. We proceeded to a parking lot of a local Wal-Mart where we filled an Apple Martini cigar wrap with some lower quality mid grade. We then drove out to local park and began to smoke. We ended up smoking it all, hotbox style in my friend's car. I wasn't feeling much effect from the Cannabis when we were done, just a mild acceleration of my heart rate (Approx. 100bpm) We pulled away and were driving down the highway when it hit me. A sudden rush of what I can only call pure ecstasy engulfed my entire being. It was as if I could feel the THC in my blood being pumped into my brain. A massive tingling sensation not unlike when a limb "falls asleep" coarsed threw my brain. I felt so empathetic and loving, nothing was wrong in the world. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest but this was of no concern to me. All I could manage to do was express my deep affection of love for my friends and how amazing I felt. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out like a dog and the cool air just felt so right. My memory soon began to fade from this point. I experience a floating sensation when I attempeted to walk, and I apparently was talking to myself (from what they told me) My memory ends there.
That was the first, and last time I experienced pure Euphoria from Cannabis. From that night on, I was obsessed with feeling that way again, and soon began to smoke on a regular basis. Only now the drug took a sinister turn. Smoking soon began to lead to paranoid thoughts, and eventually full blown intoxicated panic attacks.
I will describe my most intense experience with Cannabis, which brought on what is best discribed as pure overwhelming terror. I must note I was taking prescription Dextroamphetamine (30mg) daily for atleast 6 weeks prior to this experience.
It was again, a cool autumn evening a year later. I was in a car with a 'friend' and two of his friends who were giving us a ride to a local town where we had plans to go out to eat with him and my girlfriend. We were driving down the highway when they pulled out a pipe and some Cannabis. I was still very novice to cannabis at this point and little did I know that the product in which I was about to indulge in was quite potent. Still to this day I have yet to smoke anything stronger than what was consumed that night. We began passing around bowls and taking hits. By the time we arrived to my girlfriends house, I had had about 6 hits and was very high. I walked inside her house and the light just inside the door was blinding, I could hardly open my eyes it was so bright (it was just a normall light that anyone who was not high wouldnt have thought twice about) I was apparently talking strangley and stumbling around a bit. We proceeded to the resturant and on the way I payed for a bowl to smoke to myself. This was a mistake I was soon going to regret. I smoked the whole bowl torching it and taking as big of hits as I could manage. When we walked in, it began to hit me. My heart was soon beating at a rate of approx. 150bpm. We were seated, and soon I was lost in time dilation. My thoughts took a sinister turn, I soon became paranoid that I had smoked too much and was going to die. Every heart beat seemed to be faster and harder than the previous. My thoughts began to speed up to the point of not being able to control them even slightly. The edges of objects were glinting, almost relflecting light. I kept telling my friends I was too high to be in public and needed to leave NOW. My vision began to become choppy. When I shifted my vision side to side I it was like i was seeing each frame move way too slow. This was WAY beyond any high I had previously had with Cannabis and I was panicing. I grabbed my girlfriend's arm and was begging her to take me outside, I was litterally crying in terror. I apparently had grabbed her so hard I left brusies. I closed my eyes and had the sensation that I was outside of my body, almost exactly like a 3rd person video game. It was like a vaccum was sucking me at an angle up and back out of my head. When I opened my eyes the world popped into focus and I found myself unable to understand what the people around me where saying. Everyone soon became a malevolent entitiy who only wanted to harm me and make me feel worse. I felt as if I had been sitting there, in what I can only describe as Hell for hours already, but infact It had been only 5-10 minutes. The waiter came to take our orders and I couldnt formulate a coherent setense and sent him away without ordering any food. I couldn't follow a train of thought for more than a few seconds. I just sat there feeling every heart beat pound away feeling nothing but utter and complete terror. I had never felt anything more indiscribabley intense and terrifying. I was in hell. I was stuck here for all eternity for being a bad person. There was nothing I could do to escape this. This was my new reality. My heart rate at this point was no less than 175bpm and my body was shaking. I began to plead with my friends to get me out of this place. Paranoid thoughts overcame my entire being and everyone was staring at me, the all knew my situation and didn't care. Eventually, after over an hour of being in hell we left, I was having difficulty walking and was almost catonic. The high was reducing in intensity, but hung around for a solid 5 more hours.
From that night on, I was never the same. Even the tought of Weed made me feel uncomfortable. Every time I smoked even a small amount (enough to get a buzz) I found myself pacing and being paranoid. I could no longer enjoy the drug that once gave me indiscribable Euphoria.
I eventually gave up on trying to find that bliss. I stopped smoking for years and eventually decided to try once more, only to find myself in the same situation having an extreme panic attack. This time I was hearing voices and having delusions much like psychosis.
Then after an extremely difficult period in my life where i could no longer function after a break up with my girlfriend I found myself completely unable to function. I was suicidal and decided I need help. I began to take Sertraline (Zoloft) 50MG daily. After a few weeks I began to think more rationally about my life and no longer was obessing about suicide and my break up. This was about 3 years after my first Cannabis expereince.
A little over a month after starting the Zoloft I decided to try to smoke again. This time I purchased some Alprazolam and took about 2MG before my smoke session and I found myself enjoying the high. It was strange, I wasn't paranoid and didn't have delerium. I soon found myself buying Clonazepam and popping up to 4mg before smoking to avoid the panic. The Sertraline and Clonazepam and completely erased any fear, anxiety, and paranoia from being high. I was able to smoke as much as I desired with no I'll effects. It was great!
Then I decided to give it a go without any benzo's. Just the sertraline. I became somewhat paranoid, and a bit anxious but I was able to talk myself down, something I had never been able to do before. I was able to think rationally again, I was not going to die, I was not going to be crazy forever. I was just high. This was amazing.
One night I was smoking, I had no tolerence. I smoked about 5 hits and held them in as long as I could. I was soon very high, my heart was racing and my head tingling. I began to worry that I was going to have a panic attack. I was about the third highest I'd been in my life and yet I was able to talk myself down. I thought, hey, I've been this high before, and I didn't go permanetly insane. The high was going to end in a few hours, I should just enjoy my altered mind state.
I had conquered my Panic attacks... I hope you enjoyed reading this. Feel free to ask any questions. I hope anyone out there who has experienced the same panic will find this a very hopefull read!
