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Stimulants my increasing habits due to my Adderall cycle

I

irishred1973

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 15, 2017
Messages
4
I am on day 8.

Day one, last Thursday. I refrained from picking up my "monthly" refill until after work and didn't pop one until Friday Morning. I promise myself that this month I am going to wean off and at least do better than last month. I take the first one in 18 days and my body is grateful to feel good. By 3:30 I am proud of myself because I have only taken 3. My confidence boosts, my appetite goes down and I am ready to take on the world. I meet my husband for our normal Friday night out. A few beers and some dinner. I tell him I had a late lunch as I struggle to chew and swallow a piece of pizza. I order beer instead and chat his ear off about my day. With The Great Equalizer slowly kicking in I can drink a dozen beers, never getting drunk. He has no idea that I am on day one of my binge. He has no idea what my binge is. He can't know.

We get home and I take two more while he changes from his work clothes. Looking down into my pill bottle I feel safe. There are a ton in there, I have plenty and I am not worried about a damn thing. It's getting late and I know my husband will be going to bed soon. He needs to work at 6 a.m. He kisses me goodnight, looks me in the eyes and makes me promise him that I will not fall asleep on the couch. I lie and tell him I will be in after this episode of Law and Order. I love him with every fiber of my being but he wouldn't understand this. He could not possibly grasp this side of me and I never want him too. I hear the bedroom door close and I settle in for a twelve hour marathon of self indulgence.

I open the bottle and justify popping three. I have the day off and do not have to be responsible. I have my pills, my vape, my phone, my beer and my alter self.
 
irishred1973 said:
I am on day 8.

Day one, last Thursday. I refrained from picking up my "monthly" refill until after work and didn't pop one until Friday Morning. I promise myself that this month I am going to wean off and at least do better than last month. I take the first one in 18 days and my body is grateful to feel good. By 3:30 I am proud of myself because I have only taken 3. My confidence boosts, my appetite goes down and I am ready to take on the world. I meet my husband for our normal Friday night out. A few beers and some dinner. I tell him I had a late lunch as I struggle to chew and swallow a piece of pizza. I order beer instead and chat his ear off about my day. With The Great Equalizer slowly kicking in I can drink a dozen beers, never getting drunk. He has no idea that I am on day one of my binge. He has no idea what my binge is. He can't know.

We get home and I take two more while he changes from his work clothes. Looking down into my pill bottle I feel safe. There are a ton in there, I have plenty and I am not worried about a damn thing. It's getting late and I know my husband will be going to bed soon. He needs to work at 6 a.m. He kisses me goodnight, looks me in the eyes and makes me promise him that I will not fall asleep on the couch. I lie and tell him I will be in after this episode of Law and Order. I love him with every fiber of my being but he wouldn't understand this. He could not possibly grasp this side of me and I never want him too. I hear the bedroom door close and I settle in for a twelve hour marathon of self indulgence.

I open the bottle and justify popping three. I have the day off and do not have to be responsible. I have my pills, my vape, my phone, my beer and my alter self.
Click to expand...
I totally understand your situation, I get (60) 15 MG amphetamine salt tablets a month. I go through it all in probably 7-8 days. Then I sit around until the next cycle. I love the rush and confidence that adderall gives, for me it's short term and maybe misleading but it's a fun week. How much do you think you are taking every 24 hours? After a couple days do you feel the tolerance putting up a wall? Even when I hit the wall after a few days I still think for some reason that I can get back that initial rush if I take 7 and snort 3 more. Anyways I hope all is well and you are having fun.
 
Wow what a great read! I like reading blogs like this, but most of them aren't as well written or descriptive as this. I would love to read more from you. Thank you for sharing this :)
 

"I, irishred1973, take you, Mr. irishred1973, to be my husband. I promise to be TRUE to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and HONOUR you all the days of my life."


So much for those old outdated marriage vows,yeah?
 
I was once a slave to my Adderall bottle, I become completely dependent on it mentally and emotionally, and physically for the insane sex. I would get (60) IR 30MG tablets a month, and my and my girlfriend would go through them in a sex filled 7 day period, full of pleasure and an escape to our paradise fantasy world of having 15hr straight sex and foreplay, role-play sessions, extreme hobby-ists of cleaning the house, organizing our belongings, and dancing to music. When this runs out, we anxiously waiting for 3 weeks to get out next refill, miserablr and full of regret for wasting the pills so fast, would of , could of, should of.
I remember having the utter most self confidence with a full bottle in front of me. I'm glad I broke that cycle!!
 
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