Lets start with the begging at first it was me and my girlfriend we were both the first for each other and we were having a good time but then after a while it started to go down. She decided that it would be better if we separated even though I didn't like the idea i said sure and we did. We were separated for about a month and during that time she had sex with another guy. I couldn't find it in me to try to date anyone else in such a short time but yet she did. After a month we got back together and it has been going great. She asked me the other day if i wanted to marry her and i said i don't know. I keep thinking on how she got over me so quickly and now it bothers me so much. Why do i care so much when we weren't even together? Just the thought of her having sex with someone else so quick after our break up makes me second guess everything. It makes me think does she really care for me now?
My girlfriend has had one more in the middle
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Mysterie
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just from what you posted it sounds like you are more in love with her, than she is with you
what reasons did she give for the separation?
why would she ask if you wanted to marry her? that sounds very manipulative
how do you feel in this relationship?
and can you have a heart-to-heart conversation with your girlfriend to try and see how she feels about how you two are going?
what reasons did she give for the separation?
why would she ask if you wanted to marry her? that sounds very manipulative
how do you feel in this relationship?
and can you have a heart-to-heart conversation with your girlfriend to try and see how she feels about how you two are going?
well what i forgot to mention was that we have a kid and that when we separated it was the first couple of months and he was putting a lot of stress on us so she thought that the best idea would be to separate though i didn't follow the logic.
i dont know why but she said that it would get us back more for tax returns and she joked about it
i also have to mention that we do live together with her parents and she wants to move out so i do have a feeling that she is using me to move out because i just got my degree from college and im looking for a job that makes enough to move out. she also wants more kids and i feel like im getting used for that too.
she does take medication to keep herself in check because she can get mad over little things without them and it can get crazy
i have had a heart to heart and she does say she loves me and she wants to be with me but i mean she said that in the past too so how can i trust her now after all that
i dont know why but she said that it would get us back more for tax returns and she joked about it
i also have to mention that we do live together with her parents and she wants to move out so i do have a feeling that she is using me to move out because i just got my degree from college and im looking for a job that makes enough to move out. she also wants more kids and i feel like im getting used for that too.
she does take medication to keep herself in check because she can get mad over little things without them and it can get crazy
i have had a heart to heart and she does say she loves me and she wants to be with me but i mean she said that in the past too so how can i trust her now after all that
Pretty_Diamonds
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How long have you been together?
How old is your child?
What medications is she taking? What is her diagnosis?
But, if you're hesitant about something (aka making an account to ask strangers for advice)--it probably isn't a good idea.
How old is your child?
What medications is she taking? What is her diagnosis?
But, if you're hesitant about something (aka making an account to ask strangers for advice)--it probably isn't a good idea.
Bearlove
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Maybe she didn't get over you and had sex for the sake of sex - needed comfort, was missing you in bed with her so used some random to make her feel better, she may have even had revenge sex - grr I can't believe he said/did this / that / the other and had sex to teach 'you' (even though you were out of the picture).
If you love her I wouldn't dwell on this too much - it's happened. She was faithful to you when you were both together so that is all that should really count?
If you love her I wouldn't dwell on this too much - it's happened. She was faithful to you when you were both together so that is all that should really count?
How long have you been together?
How old is your child?
What medications is she taking? What is her diagnosis?
But, if you're hesitant about something (aka making an account to ask strangers for advice)--it probably isn't a good idea.
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at first it was 2 years about and then after the we got back together its been one year
he is about 18 months
she is taking Zoloft for her depression
even though ive talked to her i still have this in the back of my head so i did want to get other peoples input, someone who didnt know me or her so they couldnt be biased
How old is your child?
What medications is she taking? What is her diagnosis?
But, if you're hesitant about something (aka making an account to ask strangers for advice)--it probably isn't a good idea.
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at first it was 2 years about and then after the we got back together its been one year
he is about 18 months
she is taking Zoloft for her depression
even though ive talked to her i still have this in the back of my head so i did want to get other peoples input, someone who didnt know me or her so they couldnt be biased
closeyoureyes
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Oh man I don't know about you, but if it was me I wouldn't date her anymore. I'm in a serious relationship for more than a year and I really really love her with all my heart, but if something like that happened to me I simply couldn't be with her anymore. If i knew she was thinking of having sex with someone else it would be enough for me to fall out of love, actually doing that is even worse. I would simply break up, no need to be in love with someone who isn't in love with me. I know it's not cheating as you guys were separated at the moment, but still. You can't get separated with your beloved one have sex with a random dude and then expect to get together again as if nothing happened... But that's just my opinion, I know couples who had cheated on each other ant broke up and then came back together but I never understood that, maybe I'm just that kind of person...
Pretty_Diamonds
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Hmm, so 3 years total? How long has she been depressed for? Because there is a lot of post-baby depression (I forget what the office term is).
Is she constantly taking her medication or does she sometimes wean off it? Or does she think its unnecessary at times?
well the depression thing has been way before i even meet her
but i think what you are talking about is postpartum depression
she doesn't want to take her meds because she doesn't want to rely on a medication to feel happy and i get that but when she doesn't take them she can get "shit bat crazy", but no they don't wear off
i really hope its a simple as revenge sex because i would rather have that then her not actually wanting to be with me and just using me
i totally feel the same way....even though we weren't together i still somehow also feel betrayed
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RobotRipping
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shit already down to once a week. My relationship is fucked because of a lack of sexual activity; it was cool when i was a drug addict cause i didn't give a shit but now it matters. I can tell you as the years go on, that once a week thing will not improve without really working on things. I get driven insane by my gf's lack of sex drive or inability to express it.
IMO she took a break just to go fuck another guy. There are no breaks with me. Since you didn't even agree to the original break up she sounds like she is fucking with you and manipulating you. It's impossible to tell from behind my computer though. Ask her if you can go fuck some other girls, if she's cool with that then she's a keeper if she flips out then i'd take off running as fast as possible and get custody.
It's not all that simple but this whole idea of a 'break' is more often than not used to go fuck other people. That's fine, people want to experience things but you kind of got the shit end of the stick there, so unless she can make it equal, i'd say fuck it, you've only been together 3 years. Having a kid together is the real issue but it's not a good reason to force a relationship. If you have doubts in the back of your head, let her know about them and deal with them. Don't let them stay there hoping they will go away, they won't.
IMO she took a break just to go fuck another guy. There are no breaks with me. Since you didn't even agree to the original break up she sounds like she is fucking with you and manipulating you. It's impossible to tell from behind my computer though. Ask her if you can go fuck some other girls, if she's cool with that then she's a keeper if she flips out then i'd take off running as fast as possible and get custody.
It's not all that simple but this whole idea of a 'break' is more often than not used to go fuck other people. That's fine, people want to experience things but you kind of got the shit end of the stick there, so unless she can make it equal, i'd say fuck it, you've only been together 3 years. Having a kid together is the real issue but it's not a good reason to force a relationship. If you have doubts in the back of your head, let her know about them and deal with them. Don't let them stay there hoping they will go away, they won't.
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Lust is not Love
She was mature enough to understand this
That said id I were you, even knowing this, I would hate her, deeply, and with love (just being honest)
She was mature enough to understand this
That said id I were you, even knowing this, I would hate her, deeply, and with love (just being honest)
Bearlove
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If you both agreed on a break - or you accepted that a break was necessary - or you were ready to take her back - then whatever happened during the break should really not come into the picture.
If, however your not happy with your relationship for what ever reason (lack of sex, respect, trust etc) then I would strongly suggest you think twice before getting married. You already have this problem with her that getting married will only complicate (if you ultimately decide to leave her).
If, however your not happy with your relationship for what ever reason (lack of sex, respect, trust etc) then I would strongly suggest you think twice before getting married. You already have this problem with her that getting married will only complicate (if you ultimately decide to leave her).
missmeyet?
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When you love someone, truly love them, its really not that easy to just decide that you aren't going to love them anymore or to make that conscious decision "ok, I'm not going to be in love with someone who did this". Its kind of strange to make that comment. Saying you can't be with someone who slept with someone else is one thing but it is not the same as deciding you just aren't going to love them anymore.
Also, just a thought....never say never until you have walked in someone elses shoes.
To the OP, just because she had sex with someone else doesn't necessarily mean she was over you. I do find it a little odd that you guys were only seperated a month and she was with someone else (but that's just me). Maybe she just needed to "try out" being with someone else before you guys decide to get married or something sine she had only ever been with you. I'm not saying that is ok by any means but it might have something to do with it, especially if she suggested the break. The person she was with, was it a random stgranger supposedly or someone she knew? Someone you knew?
Good luck.
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llama112
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Quoted both of these because I agree completely.
You were on a break. Yes, you may still feel a bit sad or whatever but you were not together at that point. She is allowed to do what she wants.
I do t think you understand. It's not that we broke up, it's not that I want her to do whatever I say it's that she had sex with someone else so fast after we broke up
I like how you said it. Even if I decided to break up with her today I would still love her making it hurt that much more.
It was with some random dude