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my first acid trip

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frankmilton

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 2, 2014
Messages
40
hey i tried a couple tabs, alone, today and it was the most frightening yet an eye opening experience i have ever had in my life. I suppose i had what most people call a bad trip. I have come to understand and accept how weak, shallow, and hollow i am and that most of my anger came from me but no one else. Everything i considered valuable in life felt meaningless. They were literally a reflection of my pride. I realized i was nothing but a body held together by pride, selfish-ness, and some bone structure. The boundaries between individuals seemed meaningless because WE are living in this world together, not I am. I learned how important it was to depend and be depended by other people. Otherwise, the world can be a very lonely place to live in. I felt depressed and very anxious. The anxiety came straight from my guts and the more i thought about it, the worst it got. At one point, i got really scared so i flushed rest of the tabs down the toilet. However, I do not regret of my actions. Ha.. What a fool i was. I learned more about myself in a few hours than my entire life. Oh, and time seemed pretty meaningless, too, as if time can't be measured by numbers, but only be experienced. I always thought i was comfortable being alone, but in fact, i have been pusing people away. I couldnt feel more alone than ever that i hoped for someone to be there and say "it's okay" to me. Strangely, I feel alot more peaceful than I ever was.
 
frankmilton said:
Everything i considered valuable in life felt meaningless. They were literally a reflection of my pride. .
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many people feel this way after their first trip. heck, even some hippies will sell all of their worldly belongings. i think its why monks live without material things, because its not what life is about. our society is very materialistic, yet the LSD experience seems to really shock people that have grown up with it, accustomed to the materialism. not just material things either, but concepts--like getting a good career, looking a certain way, proscribing to certain belief systems. its all pretty useless if its not actually how you feel or what you want to do.

in my opinion, the only "bad trips" are those that end in the hospital or jail. there is always something to be learned, even if it isnt as fun or pleasant as you intended it to be. some trips are fun and easy, some are difficult and unpleasant, yet you can sometimes learn far more from the difficult trips than the easy, simple ones.

some people call us "psychonauts", explorers of the mind. when you delve into the depths of the mind. the unfiltered, unedited parts that you rarely or never have ventured to experience before, some of it might be hidden away because its unpleasant to face. although not fun or pleasant, facing these things yields a very beneficial peace afterwards. cleaning out the cobwebs to work on one's self. moving in the right direction.

it may take awhile, but slowly you should integrate what you have learned from your trip. you will probably become more aware of yourself, and of your relationships with other people. take what you have learned and grow. this is the kind of learning that we can get from psychedelics. its not magic wisdom that you always get immediately--but the possibilities of the paths you can walk are presented. good luck OP!
 
Thank you for your insight. I appreciate it, really. i agree with all of your words because my entire world was made up of materialism and once i somewhat faced it, none of those things mattered anymore. However, several times during the trip, i got frightened by the idea of facing myself, my true self. it felt like once i face myself, the only solution to the pain would be committing suicide. So i tried my hardest to cover it up and let it pass.
 
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Don't be too quick to trust those insights. They can help you in certain ways in life but also hinder you. Their value should be relative rather than absolute. Although I feel what you are saying there's a lot more to it and give it some good time before making any serious decisions based on that. Ego and pride have their place in our lives.
 
Hey :)
Congratulations on your first acid trip ^.^
Sounds like you had quite a 'deep and meaningful'.
What an amazing and insightful drug it can be ;)
Hope you have an awesome day!
 
Sorry to hear you had suicidal thoughts. If you ever take LSD again, consider limiting yourself to one dose. That can be a powerful experience without getting quite so extreme.

Strangely, I feel alot more peaceful than I ever was.
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In fact, many people take acid hoping for exactly the kind of experience you had (minus the suicidal thoughts). Get ready to use your new self-knowledge to become happier, and welcome to a brighter world Frank!
 
My first time was good and bad. I guess your could call it a difficult experience. When your ego has nothing to cling to you learn a lot about the world very quickly. Do you want to try it again?
 
I definately want to explore myself again, but first, i want to change myself based on what i experienced. improve my quality of life and become happier. thank you everyone!
 
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