I am an ex opiate/heroin user and was on the methadone program for 3 years, taking anywhere from 90mg to 120mg a day. I was sick and tired of being a slave to that drug and all my attempts of getting off of it was unsuccessful. My parents finally agreed to send me to Mexico to undergo ibogaine treatment to get off that shit. But before i went, i had to get off methadone for 2 weeks using 90 mg of morphine 3 times a day to get a lot of the methadone out of my system, since it stays so long in ones system. Even though i was on 180mg morphine a day, i still experienced withdrawals. And my bones were aching like crazy. I always thought it was a myth that methadone affects your bones, but i guess not. Anyways, on the day i went to Mexico, before the flight, i took the rest of my morphine pills (which was a lot) and a bunch of xanax and klonopin. I might as well get hella high at least one more time before getting clean right? From all those benzos, i don't remember the flight at all. I remember arriving at my Ibogaine provider's house, Nancy (not her real name, but let her soul rest in peace). I remember faking being really dope dick so she can hook me up with some opiates or something. She actually came through with some black tar heroin, lol. And i shot up one last time. I woke up the next morning, ate my breakfast and had a talk with Nancy. She was the spooky, weird type i was not used to. Telling me she can sense so much negative energy within me. There was so much voodoo and other spiritual shit in the house. I was spooked tbh. Especially of all the negative shit i think of when i think of voodoo. But she explained to me that voodoo isn't like what they portray in the media. But i was still spooked. I was young (22 years old), with this stranger, in a foreign land. Alone. No relatives or anyone i knew was with me. She even looked scary to me. Her look reminded me of a witch with a cane tbh (sorry Nancy!) She was a white South African woman, living in Mexico giving ibogaine treatment to people who need it. I don't remember much of the conversation we had before i underwent the treatment, since i was still dazed from all the benzos. But i remember her explaining to me the process of taking ibogaine. We went to the room i was staying in. She cleansed and smudged the room and she did some weird little prayers or some shit. In the room, it was me, Nancy, a doctor, and her son to help out. She made the room dark and lit some candles. She gave me i think 3 pills of ibogaine to start off with. and Every 30 to 45 mins or so i would keep taking more. Around 45 minutes after taking my first pills, i started seeing tracers and lines shooting everywhere within the room. After a while she gave me more. After that everything was such a blur to me. I remember everything in the room just started becoming different colors and moving. Then i shot into a different dimension. Like i said it was all a blur to me. I don't remember much from the trip. I think the trip was 20 plus hours? but it seemed so much shorter to me. The thing i do remember is being in that dark room full of candles with Nancy, the doctor, and her son standing in front of me. They were all wearing hooded robes (i hope it was just a hallucination) and for some reason i felt the presence of evil. I thought they were doing some type of satanic ritual on me, trying to sacrifice me. I tried to run away but they held me down. I was fighting for my life. I grabbed some candles and threw it at Nancy. They had to pin me down onto the bed. That is really all the things i remember from the trip.. I remember waking up shaking like crazy. I couldn't even walk. I had to get help to walk to the bathroom. It was so bad i had to pee in a water bottle the next few days. I had bad diarrhea. Shitting liquid many times i day. Everything to me tasted so different. I wasn't able to eat much, but I was addicted to eating strawberries and other fruits. It just felt so good putting fruits from the earth into my body. And cigarettes even tasted bad, so i quit for a while. But ended up smoking again a few days later. I stayed at Nancy's for 5 days. The whole time i did not sleep at all! I was shaking like crazy the whole time. Oh yea, the next few days after the trip, i was still seeing those tracers, and everything looked different to me. Even human beings. It is so hard to explain. It is like i was in a different world. I guess i never payed attention to how the world looked, felt, and tasted when i was on all those drugs for years. But the whole time at Nancy's, i was still spooked. I was traumatized from the trip. And seeing all that voodoo shit around.. holy shit. She would give me pills and vitamins to take everyday to help me, but i tongued them all and threw them under my bed, lol. I remember Nancy finding them under the bed and getting so angry at me. And i told her the truth, that i am afraid of her. I remember thinking to myself why can't i sleep? She probably did some type of fuckin spell on me or some shit, lol.. But anyways, those 5 days at Nancy's was very hard. Can't walk, can't sleep, can't eat, diarrhea, pissing in a water bottle, etc.. and having horrific thoughts running through my mind. The third day i was finally able to walk a little. And after the fifth day i got picked up to go to an aftercare rehab 3 hours away. In that rehab we did Ayahuasca once a week and i did peyote once. But that is another story. For 7 days i did not sleep at all. Even with xanax and cannabis. I started seeing shadows of dogs and things and everything just felt like a dream and cartoonish.. I would cry often because i couldn't fuckin sleep and was begging my mom on the phone to send me back home asap. But she said hell no, I paid thousands of dollars for this shit. I was still spooked being in that aftercare rehab cuz they seemed like some type of weird cult in literally the middle of the woods with nowhere to run to. And they were doing ayahuasca once a week, which i was not looking forward to! I finally slept on my 7th day of not sleeping, for only 2 hours when i was given Ambien. I remember the dream i had vividly. I was on the top floor of a high skyscraper just looking down for awhile at all the buildings beneath me. I was just standing there looking for for so long. then i woke up. Little by little i would get more and more sleep. And my shakes and diarrhea lasted about 2 weeks. So anyways, the ibogaine did help me get off methadone. But it is no miracle cure at all. I still went through a lot.. I was told i should of been off of methadone for at least 4 weeks, instead of 2 weeks, before undergoing ibogaine treatment because of how long it stays in your system. But yea.. That was a crazy experience that most people would never experience.. Thanks for reading guys. I never share this with anyone cuz people would just think i am crazy.
Rest In Peace, btw Nancy. She passed away last week from a severe illness. She was already sick when I first met her and even though she needed money for her treatment, she gave me and my family a huge discount since we are not wealthy at all. While switching from methadone to morphine, she would literally stay on the phone with me for hours to help comfort me during my withdrawals. She helped my parents understand my addiction. Even after the treatment, she would still keep in touch with me and my family until her death. Every time I relapsed, she gave me and my family advice. Thank you Nancy for helping me and my family these past 3 years. I really don’t know where I would be at the moment without you, even though I was scared shitless of you. Lol
Rest In Peace, btw Nancy. She passed away last week from a severe illness. She was already sick when I first met her and even though she needed money for her treatment, she gave me and my family a huge discount since we are not wealthy at all. While switching from methadone to morphine, she would literally stay on the phone with me for hours to help comfort me during my withdrawals. She helped my parents understand my addiction. Even after the treatment, she would still keep in touch with me and my family until her death. Every time I relapsed, she gave me and my family advice. Thank you Nancy for helping me and my family these past 3 years. I really don’t know where I would be at the moment without you, even though I was scared shitless of you. Lol
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