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My boyfriend watches porn while I'm sitting right next to him

N

nothing

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
65
My boyfriend watches porn, I watch porn, we both masturbate- no big deal.

I'm a very sexual person, and open to any kind of sex he wants to do or try. He knows I'm readily available for sex at almost any time. If I'm unavailable and he wants to jerk it, that's cool. Even if he just wants a quick jerk in the shower or before bed- whatever. But I get offended when I can see him looking at it when I'm sitting right next to him. I feel like he wants to look at those women instead of me. We haven't had sex in like, 5 days and a minute ago I could see him looking at it, then he just went in the bedroom with his phone to "take a nap".

I'm not insecure about my body, and I know he's attracted to it and that he loves me, but it makes me feels really inadequate when he's choosing to do that instead of having sex with me when he knows I want it. He knows I'm a jealous person. He knows this would bother me, but he does it anyway. Do I have the right to feel offended by this? Is this just one of those guy things?
 
does he even know this is a problem to you?

have you talked to him about it?

if i was in your position i would talk about it with my SO, let them know how it makes me feel.
 
He has a severe porn addiction. Its all fantasy.

Ask him, is there something he thinks about - wants to do, that you two haven't done? He could have some kinky shit going on in his head. Maybe offer that if he's going to porn, rather than have sex with you - that you bring another guy in to fuck in your bed while he's wanking off to porn on his phone at the same time in the same room.

He'll get his porn, and you get laid.

Seriously, ask him... see what's up.
 
nothing said:
Note: I'm even sitting here in my underwear next him!!
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how about make the first move? Get naked and started masterbating. Start pulling off his clothes.

Sometimes guys hate having to make the first move.
 
If she's sitting in her underwear next to him she shouldn't really be expected to seduce him. I agree it seems he is addicted to porn, I wouldn't take this personally OP.
 
Clitnhawk said:
Ask him, is there something he thinks about - wants to do, that you two haven't done? He could have some kinky shit going on in his head. Maybe offer that if he's going to porn, rather than have sex with you - that you bring another guy in to fuck in your bed while he's wanking off to porn on his phone at the same time in the same room..
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We're pretty kinky as is, and he knows I'd be open to anything. If anything, he's more scared to do the stuff I'm into. So I don't think that's the issue.

To be fair, I went into the room to "get something", and he actually was napping. Truth is, I honestly don't think he masturbates a lot. I think he just looks at porn.....
 
instead of listening to bunch of bs responses from an online forum, go and take his phone off him, turn it off, tell him what told us, and have sexy time. everyone wins.
 
laugh said:
instead of listening to bunch of bs responses from an online forum, go and take his phone off him, turn it off, tell him what told us, and have sexy time. everyone wins.
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Ah yes. The best relationship advice you can get from a forum is to get OFF the forum, stop telling strangers about the issue, and go tell the person instead. Somehow I tend to forget this though. Thanks for the reminder, and to everyone else for you replies. I'll talk to him in the morning when he wakes up.
 
No. Never tell him anything... just tell us, and we'll direct you to do strange and sexual things for fun.

While I had posted something up there in sillyness, talking to him first - should be first. Let him know how you feel and ask him how he feels.
 
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nothing said:
He knows this would bother me, but he does it anyway. Do I have the right to feel offended by this? Is this just one of those guy things?
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I would say you do have the right to be offended. Unless he's brain dead he will know it's pissing you off. Just punch him in the cock and find someone who isn't obsessed with his hand.
 
Yeah I can see why you're offended. I'd probably feel the same if I was down to fuck and my gf just decided to watch porn instead. Does sound like he's got a porn addiction and it's a growing problem tbh. Regular porn really isn't healthy which is why I cut down to 1-2 times a week. I view porn on par with drug usage insofar as it needs to be moderated and kept within reasonable 'doses' so to say. Bottom line is talk to him about it and see what comes out of that.
 
If you've got a problem with the wanking (unless it's interfering with his life other than upsetting u) - it's u
If you've got a problem with the lack of sex - it's him
 
playing on your phone and ignoring your girlfriend is probably an ignorant way to behave. this just adds a porn element.

so is he meeting your needs or not?

did he change after you spoke to him the last time?

people are different. some people are just obsessed with their phone. i find mine way more boring than a computer. but ultimately at some point things go stale and you have to work at a relationship to maximise it for both parties.

you have to want to meet your partners needs for both to be satisfied in it. not merely be nagged to

i think him doing this is rude
 
Of course you have the right to be offended by that! Fuck, I wouldn't have put up with it for a second...
My best advice is simply to ask him directly and honestly why he does that sometimes. How else will you know if it's because he'd rather wank than have sex with you? You're just going to feel worse and worse about it until you put your mind at ease I think, and hopefully he'll come up with a good answer <3
 
You need to take control. SAy something like "If you dont stop watching that, I'm gonna sit on your face", then do it. and no, this is not a guy thing, its a porn thing. What kind of porn is he watching? If it's something you cant provide, like gay/tranny/2 women porn, then I'd be a bit less upset - you dont have the equipment or numbers. But if's something you can provide him, and you are willing, like sex... maybe that's his way of saying what he wants w/o having to ask you directly. It can be severely embarrassing for a guy to ask for something kinky and get shot down. Once I asked a woman if I could eat her out - she said "what" - so I had to repeat it. She said "no", but then proceeded to have her way with me - apparently she had been fantasizing about me as well, and had her own ideas. I still got to eat her out lol.

Bottom line: take control of this or ditch him, because it wont get better on its own.
 
If he's indeed jerking off to sites like sexu, while you're sitting next to him, I think that's kinda weird. Maybe you should talk it out with him?
 
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