To be honest, I can relate to what your saying, but to put it simply I don't really know why I'm going back downnthis self destructive path. I have neighbour troubles, but I don't need much of an excuse to use and abuse substances. I've been up all night and taken only another 150mg armodafinil, coffee and a couple of tramadol. Got beer there but don't want to combine it with all I have taken. And I forgot I took 2 co-codamol codeine 60mg/paracetamol and 2 300mg pregabalin.
I wish I knew why I was starting this up again, but not to sound pathetic, I just can't deal with normality. I know how dangerous this is, but at the back of my mind it's saying "you'll be fine, you can handle this". I've hit rock-bottom a few times the past 2 years and been on and off drink and drugs. I decided not to have a beer or 2, due to the fact I had a sezuire on this combination before. I'm at a crossroads in my mind where part of me knows thiscis stupid, but the other is saying what's a few pills and a drink?
I've got tapentadol coming in the post 60x 50mg pills. Last time I stopped them I suffered severe opioid WDs for 4 days. Was taking it because it was 100mg tapentadol and 125mg soma, which I wanted to experience the soma effects. I was taking around 500-700mg per day, it got way out of control, I can't remember how long I was on them but that WD was up there with the worst WD I've had, except for alcohol which was far worse, hallucinations for days and shaking, sweating, couldn't get out of bed for 3 days. Now I try to take alcohol responsibly.
I'm 35 and feel as if my life is going nowhere so the only answer is drink and drugs. I can control it, but in the past it's got out of control. Was in hospital last year due to phenibut OD. The hospital staff hadn't even heard of it. I keep telling myself I'm the one in control and can taper or titrate dosages to cut myself off these drugs. I hope to get my mental health fixed and get clean but for now taking it day today. Thank you for your comment keif and rest of people, I need to think long and hard, but when on this can't think properly or sensibly.
I wish I knew why I was starting this up again, but not to sound pathetic, I just can't deal with normality. I know how dangerous this is, but at the back of my mind it's saying "you'll be fine, you can handle this". I've hit rock-bottom a few times the past 2 years and been on and off drink and drugs. I decided not to have a beer or 2, due to the fact I had a sezuire on this combination before. I'm at a crossroads in my mind where part of me knows thiscis stupid, but the other is saying what's a few pills and a drink?
I've got tapentadol coming in the post 60x 50mg pills. Last time I stopped them I suffered severe opioid WDs for 4 days. Was taking it because it was 100mg tapentadol and 125mg soma, which I wanted to experience the soma effects. I was taking around 500-700mg per day, it got way out of control, I can't remember how long I was on them but that WD was up there with the worst WD I've had, except for alcohol which was far worse, hallucinations for days and shaking, sweating, couldn't get out of bed for 3 days. Now I try to take alcohol responsibly.
I'm 35 and feel as if my life is going nowhere so the only answer is drink and drugs. I can control it, but in the past it's got out of control. Was in hospital last year due to phenibut OD. The hospital staff hadn't even heard of it. I keep telling myself I'm the one in control and can taper or titrate dosages to cut myself off these drugs. I hope to get my mental health fixed and get clean but for now taking it day today. Thank you for your comment keif and rest of people, I need to think long and hard, but when on this can't think properly or sensibly.