Microdosing LSD if I'm not happy and I have an existential crisis?

[solidsnake77]

Well, I could got from a reliable source, 10 doses of LSD, 10mcg per tab. I microdosed before in the past, with shrooms, with more or less benefits. I decided to try with LSD, hoping maybe this give me the shot of energy, wellbeing and creativity that could push me up a little bit. I took my dose on the morning, after the breakfast.

The first couple hours I felt tingling, little waves of euphoria and the colours were more vivid, they are yet but no problem with that. After that I start to feeling a umconfortable head ache, and like in a haze state, I don't feel in a good state to meet with people for example. Probably the unique joint of the day of weed, 2 hours after the take, contribuited to that state, or maybe that 10 micrograms isn't my sweetspot, and I know 10mcg is a standard dose to md with LSD, or maybe I don't currently passing through a good moment of my life to do microdose. I explain a little bit my current situation:


My life is very fucked up: I have chronic pain since 8 years ago, without diagnostic. I've been 4 years on a daily habit of strong opiates, under medical prescription. After that I detoxicated with Suboxone and some meds more, and 7 months after start with Suboxone I get off gradually, because after the first 2-3 months I had very weird side effects, like strongs head aches, brain fog, even a weird sense of being only a viewer in my life when I went out for a walk. I found kratom then, and this was a godsend, helped me to kick off Suboxone and I could live almost 2 years without need of taking more painkillers, although I recognize I had some relapses, but I could manage it.

That was a few years ago. The last week I left behind me an habit of dihydrocodeine of 4 months, I reached a little more than 10 grams (were 30mg per pill), and I think I have PAWS of it: lack of motivation, no interest in nothing, don't want to go out... I barely have real friends or so much contact with people, except some casual days I meet with a friend or shit like that.

I know I'm not happy. In fact, I'm passing through a existential crisis due all my situation. I don't want to live all my life in pain, but I don't want to live all my life being an addict, in the last months buying meds stronger than that I have in prescription because their not enough to my pain. I started buying DHC because I found a job and I needed make my double journal without pain and without withdrawals symptoms due tolerance. Finally I had to quit the job, because I spent so much money buying pills only to relief the pain, and I was doing malabres to can keep working.

I have a treatment with a technique called Transcraneal Magnetic Stimulation in one month, one time per week for 6-7 weeks. If this treatment works, maybe finally I could live without pain and without being an addict with all the shit that is correlated with this. But if not.. holy shit, I don't want to think in that, because then I think I'll lost all my wish of live. I can't keep a job with this condition, it's been demostrated a few times before in my life.

If you read all of above till this, thank you for your time. Now my question is: is worth it doing microdose with LSD if one is not happy with their life? Could be counterproductive? Sometimes I think in suicide, but I don't do it because I know my mother would be totally devasted, and maybe she couldn't overcome it.

Is like, I think I lived all, and a life pretty intense with just 25 years.

Any advise would be appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

 

[pupnik]

my staircase is my gymnasium.
3 story building.
two flights of 14 steps totaling 34 steps
I go up and down all of them 14 times (for a daily minimum of 1000 steps)
after two cycles i am beat, then after 6 cycles it is easy and I am beginning to sweat.

then after 14 cycles I do some meditation for half an hour.

occasionally weed in the evening (never before 7pm) or advil for joint pain

66 yrs old

microdosing without weed is better and can be done earlier in the day every 2nd or 3rd day

 

[phuckingnutz]

my staircase is my gymnasium.
3 story building.
two flights of 14 steps totaling 34 steps
I go up and down all of them 14 times (for a daily minimum of 1000 steps)
after two cycles i am beat, then after 6 cycles it is easy and I am beginning to sweat.

then after 14 cycles I do some meditation for half an hour.

occasionally weed in the evening (never before 7pm) or advil for joint pain

66 yrs old

microdosing without weed is better and can be done earlier in the day every 2nd or 3rd day

WTF is that Pup?
Did you even read his post or do you just throw a bunch of words in a jar and randomly pick them out and write everything down in the order that they are picked?

OP, I too microdose and also noticed I would seem to get a rebound headache 8+ hours after the dose and the only thing that helped was to increase the dose until it subsided. ...yeah, I know, then you're not MDing anymore, but it was the only thing that helped.
I wish I had some sage advice to give, but I was MDing not to help with any depression, but to just broghten things up a bit.
I have been in some shitty places mentally and have also contemolated "ending it all", but after 58 years I have found that as bad as shit gets it always gets better at some point and the worse it gets the more room there is for things to improve.
I know that is a scewed view, but it is the only one I have to share with you and not really knowing your situation it's easy for me to say "hang in there", but hang in there, shit'll get better even if t gets worse first.

 

[pupnik]

great response,

consider a mustang (horse) running in the fields, exhilarating, but not just for the viewer.
when you use your body, you tone it and it produces natural chemistry that cannot be duplicated reliably and sustainably any other way except by exercise, or dance, or swimming.

more drugs wont help
different drugs wont help
the body has to move regularly to get out the kinks and to experience a natural tone and even joy.

now imagine a horse with it's legs removed.
not even as happy as a slug.

random words in a bag.

 

[yepyepwoah]

For sure. I could take five drugs, but if I don't get out and ride my bike or something I still feel like shit

 

[phuckingnutz]

great response,

consider a mustang (horse) running in the fields, exhilarating, but not just for the viewer.
when you use your body, you tone it and it produces natural chemistry that cannot be duplicated reliably and sustainably any other way except by exercise, or dance, or swimming.

more drugs wont help
different drugs wont help
the body has to move regularly to get out the kinks and to experience a natural tone and even joy.

now imagine a horse with it's legs removed.
not even as happy as a slug.

random words in a bag.

It would have been helpful, I think, to have given OP a hint of WTF you meant when you posted, green is america hotel wisdom sucks, or whatever the F you said.
Yes random words in a JAR though, not a bag. That'd be completely different.

 

[solidsnake77]

WTF is that Pup?
Did you even read his post or do you just throw a bunch of words in a jar and randomly pick them out and write everything down in the order that they are picked?

OP, I too microdose and also noticed I would seem to get a rebound headache 8+ hours after the dose and the only thing that helped was to increase the dose until it subsided. ...yeah, I know, then you're not MDing anymore, but it was the only thing that helped.
I wish I had some sage advice to give, but I was MDing not to help with any depression, but to just broghten things up a bit.
I have been in some shitty places mentally and have also contemolated "ending it all", but after 58 years I have found that as bad as shit gets it always gets better at some point and the worse it gets the more room there is for things to improve.
I know that is a scewed view, but it is the only one I have to share with you and not really knowing your situation it's easy for me to say "hang in there", but hang in there, shit'll get better even if t gets worse first.

Great comment, thank you so much for your answer and for taking your time to read me. According what I can read, is very normal have headaches microdosing LSD. I don't know if still doing it, my next dose would be on thursday. Maybe 10mcg is a dose high to me for MDing to me, I could try divide the tab in two parts and try with 5mcg.


Maybe you're right in that what you said, I'm glad of your perspective would of that way, and I wish that will happen the same thing to me. Is like stay live with all this shit is a hell, pain coming and going every fucking day, managing it with this fucking codeine/paracetamol taking more with the time and kratom, disgracely due tolerance like I said it stills help, but isn't enough to kill the pain by only itself like a years ago, and fucking diazepam, addicted to it since a lot of time too but anxiety problems and muscular rigidity. The PAWS after dihydrocodeine, the blisters of them and oxycodone that I have in the drawers, and I want to take them very badly, because in this state I can't record my projects like I've been planning before september ends. I feel like I'm failing to me one more time, and is so frustrating. But I know if I relapse in DHC or oxy, in less than a month I need to stay clean to see if the treatment works, without withdrawal and rebound effects of opiates. So isn't a good and reasonable idea.


Anyway, thank you again, and I'm hanging here, because I know I can't kill my life without kill the life of my mother. And thanks to all that answering too.


PD: I though I was the only that see the commentary above was a like a ''WTF?'', thinking that maybe my actual embittered state gave me that point of view. I'm glad I was wrong.

 

[solidsnake77]

For sure. I could take five drugs, but if I don't get out and ride my bike or something I still feel like shit

+1000 to that. In fact, I'm going for a ride in my bike today, to nowhere, just listening to music and with my tobacco. if I stay all the day in home again, I think I could going sliglhty mad.

 

[pupnik]

the bike idea is way better than any bag or jar of words