Hey guys, I tried this and just wrote a trip report on Erowid, it isn't through yet so I thought I'd post it on here if any of you are interested, hopefully enlighten anybody who's interested in trying this combination
I'd had my MXE for one day at this point, the night before had been fun since I'm a dissociative fiend and can't really keep my hands out of the cookie jar. So when the next night came I was ready to dive right back into the bag. It just so happened that on that day a small package arrived from a friend I'd been expecting for a few days, he owed me some money for a while and I suggest he paid me in trade, so he posted me a gram of some lovely quality cocaine. Of course what kind of dissociative fiend would I be if I wasn't also a coke fiend? I'm not all that social these days, and tbh I just wanted rid of the drugs as soon as possible, so it made sense to make a dent into the size of the bags now.
I'd had a little taste of the coke a few hours before, just a fingertips worth to the gums, but it'd actually got me slightly higher than expected. This was annoying, I always get very agitated and insecure after even the smallest amount of coke, and today was no exception, an hour after tasting the coke I felt like shit, all I was wanting to do was curl up and cry, it didn't help I was still very tired from the night before. Only one thing for it though, I'll crack into the MXE. I made myself a nice sized line, tolerance from yesterday will be present, and what's more, MXE's best effects don't really come until higher doses. MXE seems to accumulate in doses, unlike ketamine. If you take bumps for long enough, you'll just keep getting higher and higher and higher until you hole, where with ket you'll just stay at a nice average.
Once this line kicked in, I was feeling pretty spaced, pretty disoriented, like I was drunk, but more confused, unable to keep my mind in one direction, or to articulate my thoughts properly. I was trying to persuade my mate to drive me to a party the next day, but he was saying he wouldn't. The only reason I wanted to go was to get with this girl I liked, and we ended up having an argument about the morality of getting with a girl when she's got a boyfriend. I personally believe I'm better for her than her current boyfriend is, they've broken up a few times, and our mutual friends all dislike him too. My friend being the victim to a cheating girlfriend however, felt very different. We argued for a while, but I was pretty mexxied, I could barely read what he was writing, never mind reply back explaining how my intent is righteous (I'm an extremely moral driven person). The coke was still making me paranoid & insecure by this point, and I was getting frustrated I couldn't think properly to get my point across. Maybe he was right, one of my best friends is calling me a cunt and I'm unable to persuade him otherwise, this has never happened to me. He must be right. I'm a cunt. I'm a bad person. I'm going to hell. I don't deserve to call myself good. I'm not wholesome. I'm no longer pure. I gave up, rattled by this conversation and making me question the very foundation of my soul. Looking back I wish I hadn't taken the MXE before talking to him, this'd have all been cleared up, and I'd be getting with one of the most special women I've ever met right now. Fuck it, time for some more drugs. I closed facebook and tried to put it out of my mind, but I felt awful inside. I made two lines, both equal in size, one coke and one MXE, and sniffed them up. I love sniffing good coke, it smells so good! MXE, not so much, though much nicer than some other drugs out there.
Now for those who've never taken MXE before, or those who've taken it, but not enjoyed it in the same way I do, then it's possible you wouldn't know what I mean about this. When I take MXE, I find that in higher doses the only thing worth doing is lying down on a soft bed with some beautiful soft music in the background and let it take you. Your body will slowly begin to drift off, and as you relax you will go with it. It's like the bed you're lying on is no longer there, but instead you're lying on something extremely soft and warm. You are transported across the galaxy on this warm surface and pushed in different directions. Sometimes you are falling, sometimes you're being pushed quickly to the heavens, sometimes pushed slowly along the horizon. It's difficult to explain, but it feels great. You get some hardcore tripping done too, but without the commitment, if you ever feel uncomfortable you can open your eyes and bring yourself back to conciousness. You'll still be high as hell, but grounded safely back on earth.
I was still rattled by the conversation when this trip kicked in. Heaven and hell is somewhere I visit a lot on MXE, and today I was going to hell. The soundtrack to my experience was Bobby Beausoleil & the Freedom Orchestra, with the Lucifer Rising OST. I'd recently fallen in love with this album, but now not so much. It turns out he was part of the Manson Family, but I'll come back to that. The cocaine had hit me, and it felt good. My entire body was inundated with this amazing body high. I've not dabbled much in opiates, and never been stronger than a handful of codeine, but wow, if morphine felt as good as this, then just wow. Everything felt soft and warm and numb and good. Like a thousand tiny angels were massaging every part of me all as one. And then the MXE properly hit me. I was taken away down into the deep. I wasn't allowed to enjoy this trip, not after being called a cunt. No, I had to be punished. I fell and I fell and I fell and I fell. Down and down. Lucifer Rising OST was just beginning to get a little dark too. I could hear a level of evil in the music I'd never noticed before. This wasn't a projection of my mind though, this was written into the music. I could feel it. As I'm falling flying demons were attaching themselves to me, consuming me, filling me with hate and anger. (It's important to note, I did not fear any of this. This wasn't a bad trip, I wasn't running from it, this was me being punished. I believed I had done wrong and now I was a bad person. I've been depressed for a while before this, and became bitter. I felt rotten on the inside, and I had been passing that feeling to others. I deserved to be in hell). The demons were still attached to me, and I was being spun around the massive chamber of hell. All around me I could see the lost souls wandering in pain. I wasn't being tortued of course. I wasn't dead. I was a guest. The demons were attached to me and teasing me, but I was just a body. I didn't have feelings. My soul was in the real world, though my body was in hell. Motionless, drifting and flowing in the direction I was being pulled by the imaginary force that was the drugs.
It was at this point I decided to fight back. This couldn't be the case. I don't deserve to go to hell. I'm good. I'm a soldier in gods army for love. I'm stronger than this. Satan may have his grips on me, but he can only have me for as long as I choose to be there. Fuck him. Fuck his demons. And fuck this place. I'm going to somewhere nicer, and with that, I was catapulted up, faster and faster, gaining momentum with every second until I broke free. I was surrounded by blue skies and the warming pale yellow light of the soul. I decided to follow it. I drifted closer and closer to the light, by now it was huge, I was surrounded by it. It was in a massive grid formation, probably 1km in length and width and I was in the center of it, just happy and floating. I opened my soul, to let the light take me, to let my goodness and the heavens goodness share each other, but the light turned gray. It no longer flowed freely, but became shaped. What was once a solid stream of goodness flowing into my heart was now a stream of muddy, polluted grayness with sharp edges, pouring into me. The devils face appeared gigantically in front of me, taking the form of Sauron from the Lord of the Rings, he was laughing with evil. I wasn't free from hell yet. I fought and fought but I couldn't break free. I was dragged back to hell kicking and screaming, but I finally accepted my fate. Lucifer Rising OST was beginning to reach the peak. The evil within him was surrounding me. How had I never heard the evil in this music before? There is nothing good about this. I spent the last half an hour of the music back in hell, being tortured by my own mind, silently crying about all the evil I had caused in the world, but accepting my punishment. I deserved to be here, and here I will be.
The album finished.
It was only about 40 minutes long, which had always disappointed me before, it was such an amazing album! This time however I was relieved. Time for another dose and a change of music I thought.
I took another equal sized line of MXE and coke, and began to play Aphex Twin's Ambient Works #1.
A totally different trip this time, I'd gotten over my conversation from before and come to the conclusion my morality isn't wrong, it never has been, and I don't deserve to go to hell. I've done my punishment now, I'm back in gods good books for the time being. (I'm not religious per-say, though my morality is based on the idea I am, that karma exists, and that goodness will only be rewarded when one isn't trying to get into heaven).
The next trip ensued, but I can't really remember it. It was nice, kinda like the last one, but I wasn't in heaven or hell, just drifting around lala land looking at pretty things. Regular MXE type trip, with the loveliness of cocaine. I haven't really mentioned the cocaine yet, it's difficult to describe the body high, but I will do with my third, and shortest experience before I eventually passed out asleep.
Again, I had another two lines and changed album. This time it was to Bohren Und Der Club of Gore's Sunset Mission. Now for those of you that haven't heard it, I suggest you type it into google now, just listen to a moment or so and you'll understand what it's about. It's basically the soundtrack to your life at 4am in a dive bar down town 7 whiskies and a pack of cigarettes in having just shot your wife and her lover. Black jazz type stuff. If Sin City was darker and slower, this is what the soundtrack would be.
Immediately the coke hit me. I didn't feel so much of an increase in MXE high now, I guess it was cos I was so high from it already, but the coke was wearing thin from the last one and now it was back. I was being gently whisked away through the night sky. For the first time in an MXE trip I was lying on a bed, but it wasn't my own.I was gently floating through the the moonlit sky over the houses of the world. Everything was beautiful and the moon would gently reflect off every shiny surface below creating a look of pure beauty and style. I was extremely tired by this point. I'd been at work the same day having only 3 hours sleep from being up all night on MXE the night before, I was ready to just drift off now, but I would enjoy this for a little while yet. The body high was incredible. Imagine being in a warm pool of rich double cream, but able breathe and move in it freely. Everything felt amazing. This feeling was also present through other parts of the trip, for example during Aphex's album, but it was a little different. During that time, there were much stronger physical forces on my body from the MXE (difficult to describe, like something is pushing down on you gently in any particular direction). This was kinda like being inside a massive moving brie cheese, and having the whole thing gently massage you all over, it felt absolutely wonderful!
I was going to write a little more here and describe it better, but I my mind has reached a blank, I can't really remember. I hoped to write detailed information about how the coke affected the body high, especially as no one else on the internet seems to have done, but it's incredibly difficult to do so. The cocaine definitely had an effect on the physical effect of the trip. I imagine this is what injecting coke might feel like, or maybe speedballing, but I don't know. All I know is it felt absolutely amazing, better than regular MXE which in itself feels amazing. I'd reccomend this combination to anyone who loves MXE as much as I do, but I know MXE isn't for everyone. They have great synergy, and makes what I otherwise find coke to be a mostly uninteresting drug compared to many other drugs. I don't know if I'll even consider doing coke without MXE again now.
