Methamphetamine questions dosing, effects on bipolar mania, and avoiding dependency.

[Fluxit]

(This is a bit long but please bear with me.) I recently started using ice in order to deal with some side effects I have coming off of Prozac which made my depression more severe and I was adviced to discontinue it. Now I know that self medicating isn't good especially with major depression and now a possible re-evaluation and rediagnosis of bipolar depression instead. However after getting off Prozac I noticed I was having severe mood swings and was manic which was pretty hectic but not horrible. Actually over the last week my manic episode subsided and I found myself actually in a very depressed state to the point where It is hard to even get out of bed or even cook. A friend of mine happened to have some shards while hanging out and suggested I try it to see if it would lift me out of it so I wouldn't feel so down. Anyway I did a line through insufflation and I felt like I had my energy back to be able to get out of bed and do things, I actually was progressive. Anyway after that I looked into it and found a lot of information on this drug and decided it is not something I want to use regularly or plan to use long term because I don't want to become dependent or addicted to it. My friend gave me a very small amount, about enough for small 3-4 lines because I asked for some in case I found myself severely depressed because my depression has always had a history of suicidal thoughts and self harm and wanted to avoid that. Over the last week I had a 2 day binge which afterwards I took a couple days off of it and just slept, took time to eat, and get myself revitalized since I noticed that when I used it I couldn't sleep at all. Yesterday I was feeling very low and decided to do a couple of bumps ended up doing 2-3 fingertip bumps and got enough energy to get through the day without the insomnia, slept well but woke up again in a bad state. After taking some time to wait it out and see if I felt better after a shower and a run i didn't so I decided to start with a small line not sure how it's measured but it wasn't a big amount, I felt the same uplifted energy but no euphoria as other people state, which is fine, I don't really that I just want to be able to get things done and not be couch locked due to my mood. Long story short that one line worked for a bit then I felt back down a bit and did another half of a small line and waited it out while adding just a bit into my coffee to see if it lasts longer. My first question is this: how long does addiction set in with methamphetamine? Like I said I have never done this drug prior to this week and honestly after I get my appointment out of the way this week I plan on not using it anymore. When I stopped taking it those few days I did not feel cravings for it just very tired the next day and my body felt like it still wasn't rested. But my appetite came back and I was fine. I just need to know if using it this often and again tomorrow since I have enough for another small line tomorrow will lead me to get addicted that fast. Also I noticed that my manic episodes seem to return at 2 days into using this and it's not to bad I just get crazy ideas and have extra energy at night and have to do them, like the last time before I stopped using it my mania returned and I TPd a public restroom in the middle of the night and was acting like it was the funniest thing in the world and felt great being carefree. Which wasn't to bad because I missed that feeling but after that I stopped the next day because I didn't want it to get severe and become a mental break. Which leads to this question: does anyone have bipolar disorder and use meth and if so have you noticed mania develop after several days of use? I also take Klonopin 1mg daily because I am dependent on that and have generalized anxiety for years, is that possibly why when I use meth I don't get like how others seem to act? I am more alert and focused while awake but do not get to the point where I am pacing, grinding my teeth,picking at myself, or experiencing twitches like I have seen a few others explain. I know that with my condition I shouldn't be using other substances to self medicate but it's at the point where if I don't when I am really down I could get suicidal and would rather use a bit of meth to keep me distracted than go down that road. I do not have or know suppliers except my friend who uses and he understood that this is the only time I'll ever use this stuff and will not keep supplying me so please don't tell me how bad it is, I know the harms and already know that after the amount I have left is used up I will not be doing this drug again, like I said it's only to get me through because of my side effects until I see my therapist and psychologist. I am just looking for information on how to avoid dependency and the accurate dosing and time to take between
So I know how to use it as safely as possible.
Bonus question: from my research I have read that speed seems to make people horny but for me it actually kills my erection which is fine because I'm not really interested in sex with everything going on but i am curious if this is normal or not? I can be turned on but an errection will be neigh impossible while the stuff is in my system.

 

[Bentoboxed]

That's a huge paragraph right there so forgive me for not addressing everything but rather just answering your questions.

You're asking how long it takes to become addicted - there's no real answer there. For everybody it's different. Personally I have been using for 2 years, it started as a monthly thing but eventually progressed into weekly. For the last 6.5 months I've been using every weekend just simply 'cause I love the mindset it puts me in and the boys and I have a great time. I've never once had a craving for it, or even thought about it during the week while at work (never have I, nor will I increase my usage from weekend use as I know I have control where I'm at and I'm not naive enough to think it won't get a hold of me if I test the limits) and I am perfectly happy to leave the stuff in my drawer until the following weekend without even looking at it sideways.

My understanding is circumstance plays a big part in addiction - for instance I just like to chill with the boys and it's a nice release at the end of a working week, I'm not chasing a feeling it using it to cope with anything & I think that's why I'm still yet to feel any need for it.
From my experiences with some old friends of mine, you're dancing with the devil when you're using it to cope with/actually do something which is essentially why you said you're using. You won't start to rely on it, it's your body that becomes dependant. However I highly doubt that under a week is enough time for addiction to set in so I wouldn't stress in the slightest. After all it takes '21 days to make or break a habit'.

I'll also quickly point out that you said you have depression, or at least tendencies to slip back into depression (from what I gathered - correct me if I'm wrong of course).
This is the worst thing you could use to combat depression. While it makes you feel great at the time, that's because it releases dopamine/stimulates the dopamine receptors (the chemical in your brain that makes you feel 'happy'). After a decent amount of use your brain adjusts to only storing so much dopamine - less than your usual amount which leaves people feeling unmotivated, they no longer feel enjoyment in things they once loved etc. It takes months to get back to normal and like an old friend of mine, that's where your addiction/dependancy could start.

I'm not here to tell you how to live your life but rather share with you my experiences and try help you out. If I were to tell you one thing though, ditch whatever you have left and find another 'release'.
One of my boys told me writing really helped him when he was suffering from depression, nothing serious - just everything that popped into his head whether it be negative or positive. He said it's a huge weight off of his shoulders and still to this day he does it.

In regards to your bipolar question I can't help you out there I apologise.

The bonus question had me laughing. It might be different for everyone but for myself personally it doesn't matter what I'm on (MDMA, meth, oxy, whatever the fuck) all I want to do is fuck.
I researched this when I had my first session as I was kinda creeped out - meth "cuts off" the "unnecessary" organs which is why you'll notice your buddy downstairs is thinner & smaller. While it's harder (almost impossible sometimes) to get an erection while you're on this shit, once you do it just doesn't go down. The best sex of my life has been while I've been up as fuck, and I've no idea why but the orgasm is a lot more intense.


Anyhow, it feels like I've been typing for quite some time and I'm up as fuck so going back and re-reading this is not an option right now so I apologise if I rambled on about shit haha!
Hopefully I helped you out in one way or another. All the best with everything going on dude, I'm always here for a chat or if you have any questions. I don't claim to know everything (and if anyone reading this see's that I'm wrong about anything I've gone over please correct me - no education is wasted education - I'm just going off of my understanding/research & experiences).

One last thing.. Ditch the shit because you don't need it.

 

[SammyV24]

Do yourself a favor and stay your ass as far away as possible from Tina and anything crystal meth related.. It will consume you like nothing else in this world can. FDA should really change its classification from a Schedule II Drug to a Top-Tier Poison which in essence is exactly what it is. As horrible and horrendous as the physical damage like what it does to your teeth, lungs, weight, etc.. The effect it has on your mentality, personality and thought process is catastrophic and sometimes irreversible. The World would be a much better and safer place without this poison that seems like was made straight from Satans hands!