heatuptheheroin
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2014
- Messages
- 1
After years of depression I tried the drug, methamphetamine. In a low dose 0.03G or 30MG insufflated, I felt like color was put back into the world, my focus was so improved normally I don't feel like doing anything and I literally mean anything, I just usually stare a computer screen or stare at the wall most of the time, socially withdrawn, no motivation. But then just 0.03G of meth, I felt almost normal. Even the day after I did the meth, I felt better than the day before I did the meth, almost like it was correcting my thought processes and improving them. I have tried different SSRI's, and they either don't have an affect on me or just make me worse, I think the latter is more true, they make me feel worse.
I'm just wondering, if all this time i've been confusing depression with ADHD. I try to tell family members about this, and they just think i'm some crazy person even though I find all this info about how 7-10% of the population has ADHD and that people with head injuries have an increased risk for it, I fell out of a window and landed on a brick when I was 3-4 not sure the exact age but it hit me right where the prefrontol cortex is on the left side of my head, required stitches and there is still a huge scar there. I've even been questioned by the police before while detained about the scar and if I had any brain injury from it, I say no but how can I be 100% sure of that.
It's hard to explain really but everything just made more sense while taking this drug, the only way I explain it really is I just felt more real, my emotions became clearer and more pronounced, clarity, energy, even the colors of the forest became bright again like I was a child again, I can't really explain it fully.. I flushed the crystal meth down the toilet after 3 days of use
I'm tempted to try it again, because what I am now is this emotionless soulless zombified thing, I wouldn't even call it a human being. When I did the meth I felt like a human being again after years, felt like I was living in the moment, my focus was back on the present, to be honest with you I don't know where my focus actually is, it seems to be nonexistent. It's not a matter of my focus being elsewhere thinking about something else or stuck in the future or past, it just simply is not there and I feel like im not living in the moment like half my mind is stuck in some other dimension and not 100% here. Now i'm really sounding like a nutcase.
I'm just wondering, if all this time i've been confusing depression with ADHD. I try to tell family members about this, and they just think i'm some crazy person even though I find all this info about how 7-10% of the population has ADHD and that people with head injuries have an increased risk for it, I fell out of a window and landed on a brick when I was 3-4 not sure the exact age but it hit me right where the prefrontol cortex is on the left side of my head, required stitches and there is still a huge scar there. I've even been questioned by the police before while detained about the scar and if I had any brain injury from it, I say no but how can I be 100% sure of that.
It's hard to explain really but everything just made more sense while taking this drug, the only way I explain it really is I just felt more real, my emotions became clearer and more pronounced, clarity, energy, even the colors of the forest became bright again like I was a child again, I can't really explain it fully.. I flushed the crystal meth down the toilet after 3 days of use
I'm tempted to try it again, because what I am now is this emotionless soulless zombified thing, I wouldn't even call it a human being. When I did the meth I felt like a human being again after years, felt like I was living in the moment, my focus was back on the present, to be honest with you I don't know where my focus actually is, it seems to be nonexistent. It's not a matter of my focus being elsewhere thinking about something else or stuck in the future or past, it just simply is not there and I feel like im not living in the moment like half my mind is stuck in some other dimension and not 100% here. Now i'm really sounding like a nutcase.
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