Optioidmistic
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2018
- Messages
- 6
Hello all!
I had a five year IV habit with H that never really got too up there, but nonetheless it was five years of daily use if I could help it. I moved and became abstinent for five years where I was smoking weed like it was my life support. I recently relapsed, and I've been smoking it again daily for two years now. I am currently on suboxone, but I'm struggling with withdrawal (chills, sweats, hot flashes, mild RLS, anxiety) and obsessive cravings where I often end up using in the evening. This isn't like my first suboxone experience where it snuffed out my desire to use completely. This time it's leaving me very wanting. No matter the dose I take at 8am I am withdrawaling by 4-5pm. Yesterday I took spare suboxone in 1mg increments when the withdrawal returned to try and combat this, and ended up taking 4mg extra on top of my 8mg dose, and I was still trying desperately to score. If my connections didn't fail me I'd have been warm and cozy instead of up all night in half withdrawal. I am considering switching to methadone. I won't lie that I still want to feel a full agonist badly. It makes me feel like life is right. I don't quite care anymore to fight my way into abstinence. I am not sure it's going to work out for me the same way it did before. I straight up don't want it like I did before. I'm not even sure I was ever feeling fulfilled.
I want to know how you guys that have experienced both feel about them, and if you've been on methadone for a while specifically - does it still satisfy you at your "stable" dose, or does tolerance rob that satisfaction from you at some point? If you've been at a stable dose for a length of time how do you feel now? Do you acknowledge that you've taken an opiate when you dose and feel thankful as someone that loves opiates, or are you in the camp that has grown to hate it?
Side note - my counselor is pushing very hard for me to get on an antidepressant. I've been on them all, and I don't like them. Opiates give me what I perceive as relief, motivation, and happiness. I have been on all manner of SSRI, SNRI, Wellbutrin, and some benzos. Of course I liked the benzos, but I don't care to be on something that can kill me if I can't get it, and my father was an alcoholic. Maybe that's why I don't like them or booze so much. I've quit them all and never looked back.
Thanks a ton!
I had a five year IV habit with H that never really got too up there, but nonetheless it was five years of daily use if I could help it. I moved and became abstinent for five years where I was smoking weed like it was my life support. I recently relapsed, and I've been smoking it again daily for two years now. I am currently on suboxone, but I'm struggling with withdrawal (chills, sweats, hot flashes, mild RLS, anxiety) and obsessive cravings where I often end up using in the evening. This isn't like my first suboxone experience where it snuffed out my desire to use completely. This time it's leaving me very wanting. No matter the dose I take at 8am I am withdrawaling by 4-5pm. Yesterday I took spare suboxone in 1mg increments when the withdrawal returned to try and combat this, and ended up taking 4mg extra on top of my 8mg dose, and I was still trying desperately to score. If my connections didn't fail me I'd have been warm and cozy instead of up all night in half withdrawal. I am considering switching to methadone. I won't lie that I still want to feel a full agonist badly. It makes me feel like life is right. I don't quite care anymore to fight my way into abstinence. I am not sure it's going to work out for me the same way it did before. I straight up don't want it like I did before. I'm not even sure I was ever feeling fulfilled.
I want to know how you guys that have experienced both feel about them, and if you've been on methadone for a while specifically - does it still satisfy you at your "stable" dose, or does tolerance rob that satisfaction from you at some point? If you've been at a stable dose for a length of time how do you feel now? Do you acknowledge that you've taken an opiate when you dose and feel thankful as someone that loves opiates, or are you in the camp that has grown to hate it?
Side note - my counselor is pushing very hard for me to get on an antidepressant. I've been on them all, and I don't like them. Opiates give me what I perceive as relief, motivation, and happiness. I have been on all manner of SSRI, SNRI, Wellbutrin, and some benzos. Of course I liked the benzos, but I don't care to be on something that can kill me if I can't get it, and my father was an alcoholic. Maybe that's why I don't like them or booze so much. I've quit them all and never looked back.
Thanks a ton!
Last edited: