hello ladies and gentlemen, i currently just broke free from what many consider the liquid handcuffs of my local methadone clinic; i did a very fast drop (10 mg every 3 days), and i will walk you through my experience down to 20 mg which is when i stopped going completely. I started taking methadone because it was covered under my medicaid and i couldn't afford a sub doctor. i went in using about 20 bags of dope a day so they decided to start me on 50mg and go up to 90 then stabilize and dial in the dose that would keep me comfortable for a full 24 hours. I steadily climbed up to 160mg which was making me nod out for half the day and decided that 140 was right for me. i stayed at that dose for a little over 14 months and my life was more or less manageable. i had no cravings for dope and i only used a couple times in the beginning weeks on 140 before i realized it was futile and i could not get high on the stuff.
Fast forward to 5 weeks ago when i lost my insurance and was forced to be "administratively detoxed"(AD) which is a drop of 10 mg every 3 days down to 0. I had dropped from 140 once before over my stay there, hit 40 and couldnt take it. I couldnt sleep, couldnt eat, and it started effecting my productivity at work, so i entered a state funded program that carried the burden of cost and i felt ok climbing up to 70 and did not want to go higher because of how intense the previous 3 or 4 weeks had been. not to mention i already cut my dose in half and was pretty stoked about that. about 4 months ago i got medicaid again and got cut from the state program and put back on regular maintenance; this didnt change anything other than the amount of group i had to attend. now, for reasons i dont feel are relevant to this post, i anticipated the loss of my insurance coming and went back up to 140 for about 2 weeks before beginning my final AD at this daily clinic. this helped me drop more comfortably because i was at 70 for so long and 140 for only a few weeks again. so i didnt really start to feel terribly sick until around 50mg. but from there on down were a couple tough weeks, i would go in the morning at around 10, get my slowly dwindling dose and get a few hours of relief before discomfort set in.
needless to say methadone did help me, but the problem is living life with the fear of not being able to reach the clinic one day. meaning no going on vacation and planning your work schedule around getting dosed. so i decided, with the support of my girlfriend, to do the drop and switch back to suboxone. After 5 weeks im finally methadone free and after 11 days and took my second dose of suboxone today with no precipitated withdrawal, which let me tell you is a very real very difficult thing to gauge coming off methadone because of its half life. The way i achieved the courage to take my first dose was to unfortunately turn back to dope for a short while (just enough to not be sick for the final week on 40-20mg). i stopped going on a tuesday, knowing it was my last day on 20 mg, and didnt want to prolong this process any more than necessary. Now let me be clear i was still sick and irritable and also very apprehensive about this whole endeavor but with support and a plan, it is possible. my plan (to use dope for a short while again to make sure the methadone was gone) may sound risky, but i know i want to be free from opiates forever, and i know i can detox off sub easier than methadone. I tried this monday, about 12 hours after my last full shot of H and 2 hours after some desperate scrapings to take a small sliver of suboxone (about 1 mg). 12 minutes later i went into PW and i was in hell. so i decided to use one last time, wait until night and took enough xanax to black out and woke up about 15-20 hours later experiencing strong withdrawals happening thursday morning and took 2 mg sub, waited about 12 mins and i felt the same; not better, not worse, but the same, which was a blessing in my mind because i successfully freed my receptors of methadone and other opiates, and will be able to successfully take suboxone. I took 2 more mg and after an hour and 2 more later in the evening, finally i felt normal again.
i do not think i am at the dose i should be taking because i still feel chills even today on my second dosing of 6 mg total throughout the day. i can say that i feel alright, at about 70 percent, but i still get flushed from time to time, but that is nothing compared to what i would have felt cold turkey or with no bupe, or benzos to help the transition.
i will say that if you want to quit methadone, doing it at a slow rate is suggested, but in my case i decided to bite the bullet and dropped 140 mg in a little over a month. Now i plan to stabilize on a low dose of sub, and slowly take less every day or 2 until im down to 1 mg, then .5 if i can cut them small enough. after that i anticipate a short period of discomfort but i did it once before in my early 20s and i know its possible. i will keep you all posted on my progress if this post gains followers and will answer any and all questions you may have.
i just figured i would share my story in detail because when i started detoxing i scoured the internet and there was not a lot of relatable info on this subject and a lot of back and fourth posts/speculation. precipitated withdrawal does happen, and the one thing that does seem to be constant is that it isnt time free of opiates, but rather the COWS scale. use it and if you are rating yourself, be honest, because if your numbers arent high enough and you take suboxone, they will be, and there is no turning back without a real opiate so beware, my magic number was about 15 hours with NO OPIATES AT ALL. I cant stress that enough, i believe the first day i took sub the small scrapings i shot that i didnt even feel were booted off my receptor sending me from about 20 to 40 on the scale in less than 15 minutes.
Fast forward to 5 weeks ago when i lost my insurance and was forced to be "administratively detoxed"(AD) which is a drop of 10 mg every 3 days down to 0. I had dropped from 140 once before over my stay there, hit 40 and couldnt take it. I couldnt sleep, couldnt eat, and it started effecting my productivity at work, so i entered a state funded program that carried the burden of cost and i felt ok climbing up to 70 and did not want to go higher because of how intense the previous 3 or 4 weeks had been. not to mention i already cut my dose in half and was pretty stoked about that. about 4 months ago i got medicaid again and got cut from the state program and put back on regular maintenance; this didnt change anything other than the amount of group i had to attend. now, for reasons i dont feel are relevant to this post, i anticipated the loss of my insurance coming and went back up to 140 for about 2 weeks before beginning my final AD at this daily clinic. this helped me drop more comfortably because i was at 70 for so long and 140 for only a few weeks again. so i didnt really start to feel terribly sick until around 50mg. but from there on down were a couple tough weeks, i would go in the morning at around 10, get my slowly dwindling dose and get a few hours of relief before discomfort set in.
needless to say methadone did help me, but the problem is living life with the fear of not being able to reach the clinic one day. meaning no going on vacation and planning your work schedule around getting dosed. so i decided, with the support of my girlfriend, to do the drop and switch back to suboxone. After 5 weeks im finally methadone free and after 11 days and took my second dose of suboxone today with no precipitated withdrawal, which let me tell you is a very real very difficult thing to gauge coming off methadone because of its half life. The way i achieved the courage to take my first dose was to unfortunately turn back to dope for a short while (just enough to not be sick for the final week on 40-20mg). i stopped going on a tuesday, knowing it was my last day on 20 mg, and didnt want to prolong this process any more than necessary. Now let me be clear i was still sick and irritable and also very apprehensive about this whole endeavor but with support and a plan, it is possible. my plan (to use dope for a short while again to make sure the methadone was gone) may sound risky, but i know i want to be free from opiates forever, and i know i can detox off sub easier than methadone. I tried this monday, about 12 hours after my last full shot of H and 2 hours after some desperate scrapings to take a small sliver of suboxone (about 1 mg). 12 minutes later i went into PW and i was in hell. so i decided to use one last time, wait until night and took enough xanax to black out and woke up about 15-20 hours later experiencing strong withdrawals happening thursday morning and took 2 mg sub, waited about 12 mins and i felt the same; not better, not worse, but the same, which was a blessing in my mind because i successfully freed my receptors of methadone and other opiates, and will be able to successfully take suboxone. I took 2 more mg and after an hour and 2 more later in the evening, finally i felt normal again.
i do not think i am at the dose i should be taking because i still feel chills even today on my second dosing of 6 mg total throughout the day. i can say that i feel alright, at about 70 percent, but i still get flushed from time to time, but that is nothing compared to what i would have felt cold turkey or with no bupe, or benzos to help the transition.
i will say that if you want to quit methadone, doing it at a slow rate is suggested, but in my case i decided to bite the bullet and dropped 140 mg in a little over a month. Now i plan to stabilize on a low dose of sub, and slowly take less every day or 2 until im down to 1 mg, then .5 if i can cut them small enough. after that i anticipate a short period of discomfort but i did it once before in my early 20s and i know its possible. i will keep you all posted on my progress if this post gains followers and will answer any and all questions you may have.
i just figured i would share my story in detail because when i started detoxing i scoured the internet and there was not a lot of relatable info on this subject and a lot of back and fourth posts/speculation. precipitated withdrawal does happen, and the one thing that does seem to be constant is that it isnt time free of opiates, but rather the COWS scale. use it and if you are rating yourself, be honest, because if your numbers arent high enough and you take suboxone, they will be, and there is no turning back without a real opiate so beware, my magic number was about 15 hours with NO OPIATES AT ALL. I cant stress that enough, i believe the first day i took sub the small scrapings i shot that i didnt even feel were booted off my receptor sending me from about 20 to 40 on the scale in less than 15 minutes.
