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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Meth Meth use promoting spirituality and a “brain reset” ?

Rampage St

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
98

Since a severe overdose I have lost in my opinion, 25-40% of my brain capacity. I suffer from numbness in my legs, panic attacks, depersonalization, depression. None of this happened before I stopped breathing for 7 minutes.

Now I have seen lots of post demonizing meth, and I agree with them wholeheartedly. When I use meth, past and present, (though it seems I have been able to break through hallucinations, delusions, paranoia etc with reason). While this is an entire other subject I do believe meth allows us to see things that we normally can’t. Spirits, demons, other things that are real, just not real in our physical world.

My point being here, I have been using meth occasionally the last few weeks, for me I can only use it once (a shot of .05-.1 of high purity crystal) a week, it takes me a few days to recover. But I feel it has drastically boosted my brain capacity, critical thinking, response time, coordination.. motivation.. I went back to the gym for the first time today in months.

I believe that using drugs can “reset” some of our brain that is “dormant” or basically in homeostasis.. but I used to wonder how I’d feel if I never touched any drugs how smart I would be, and maybe the answer is more depressed than after all the drugs I have.

I don’t know where this new wave of motivation has came from, the only explanation being I’ve shot meth, heroin (but that was about a week ago, used a gram in 3 days) and cocaine .. after a period of sobriety.

I just feel a new sense of purpose and discipline and the only contributing factor I can say would be the meth, either rewiring or “resetting” something in my brain. I was near suicidal before this relapse but I just signed a new apartment lease, I got a promotion, I just ordered a book “the secret teachings of all ages” I am diving deep into the spiritual realm and the purpose of life and I have to accredit that to one, my relentlessness, but two, to methamphetamine doing something to my brain.

Thoughts? Conclusions? Throw me in the asylum?
 
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