Super Sploof!
I know I have landed here from some google search results many times, and after seeing multiple people detail their addiction madnesses and technical expertises in various threads, and sometimes their attempts to recover, reduce harm, or derive more positives from their addictions, I realized this was more than an information source, it is also a community. I want to be part of this community. Call me CD for short. I posted a thread in the new member introductions forum about me, my addictions, my experiences with harm reduction and most dramatic and important of all, those partial failures where I try to kick one or more to the curb. And it is meant to give a detailed bio if you want to get to know me better. That will have to wait until I post this and rest my amp abused body.
FTR, you are reading the words of a very phrangled man. I am close to sleep I desperately need, and the autobiographical post needed to be put on pause so this much shorter and similar post can be started and finished and I can lay down and at least meditate myself into a quiet, still trance - the next best thing to sleep IME, or I may actually fall sleep, gods willing. The glass piece for smoking pieces of glass was put down when this was started and through willpower and love for myself I will not roll my bowl of shards with heat and airflow applied again until this is finished.
The past week I have been completely spun, completely uninterested in porn, and reading all of the meth related threads I can, starting with the 50+ pages ones I think. I am on number four and I still haven't seen anyone using my method of sploofing & vapor reclaim. Hopefully some of y'all have tried this or something similar, because I am interested in your ideas, criticisms, ideas for improvements, experiences with similar systems, etc. It occurred to me only as I began to compose this post, that although I have been using this technique for about twenty years, I almost always smoke alone and haven't really shown or talked about it with any other scante smokers. Infrequently I have smoked in front of other people, or been smoked out by another user, and in those instances I may have improvised a sploof but never that I can remember did I make one Super. I don't use one every time I smoke glass either. While it can be used in a kind of stealth mode, it makes the Super Sploof wonder if being Super is all it is cracked up to be and then it feels kinda sad and inferior to a commercial smoke eraser, which you can buy on Amazon or your neighborhood paraphernalia enterprise, or even the humble homemade one, or even the lowly improvised sploof, since all are inherently quiet or completely silent. Any sploof besides a Super Sploof has another stealth factor to think about. It complicates your kit, making your kit more difficult to store and conceal, and especially when used for blowing your meth clouds into it you are creating drug paraphernalia in the sense of evidence and if it has been used, will also have the drug itself in it at a residual level if not at high enough levels to add a possession of controlled substance charge itself. Don't scoff, once you start using a Super Sploof regular you will quickly understand just how much 100% viable methamphetamine you have been wasting your whole tweak career, and it aint above law enforcement to hold whatever they can figure out against you against you. How would they pull the point or two in your sploof out? They call it police work, which is mostly lying or intimidating perps to make a perp fuck themselves or their accomplices/friends up, but I think they also have labs that do actual science-y and work type stuff. You think that weight is inflated, don't you? Why would I lie? I wouldn't, I am just guessing what would be in an average sploof on an average day and my point is, a measurable amount. Anecdotally, and spoiling the surprise I thought you might enjoy when we talk about reclaim real soon, I can tell you that there have been times in my life where I ran teener a day habits (not recommended for so many reasons) and was using a Super Sploof for every hit from every bowl. There was a period where I loved pretending I was a chemist, so three days or so I would condense my reclaim medium back into solids and I was getting back about 1.2 grams on average. Not possible you say. This was mostly very pure P2P when I was in Norcal in the 90s or it was cartel meth when I lived in southern New Mexico circa 2002. These days I just choke the bitter pill when I am done with my session and go one with my life but I will find a pie plate and do some measurements on the garbage that passes for glass in New England under quarantine. Curious what numbers other Super Sploofers have gotten get back.
Protip: If you find you forget to use your sploof to blow your hits into 9 times out of 10, or if you spin out as you near the end of a hit, your lungs crying out "MOTHER OF GOD" and you look this way and that for that, what are they called, it is a weird word.... but now you can't think as you rush and yes, you forgot, and OW! spilled the molten puddle on your groin, well I have three suggestions.
1) Assess your stimulated state, it may be time to slow down or take a break or finish your binge, because you just spun out doing something darn simple!
2) Take your other hand off of your gonads when you take a hit buddy. I know it doesn't seem possible on really good meth with really great porn on screen but I am just reminding you this is really a two handed process. *
3) Pick up the sploof as you put down your Bic or torch or cool little needle lighter and pick up the sploof in a nice fluid motion. When you have finished exhaling your lung vapor contents into the sploof set it down right next to the lighter (cap your Super Sploof at this point), and you are ready for whenever you take the next hit. This also encourages or reminds you to take that dang heat source away from the product well before you run out of lung capacity. When you are doing it wrong, that is when you hear those lungs screams and thats when you land half your hit in the sploof and the other half of that gaseous meth is almost imperceptibly condensing into a thin icky layer of shit all over your shiny old MacBook Pro. This is how I trained myself to stop overheating and wasting the product and I eventually eliminated the brake from my kit.
SPLOOF?
"What is a sploof?" I can hear a few of you mutter through your clenched jaws. A sploof is drug paraphernalia meant to suppress either the odor and/or visibility and/or presence of exhaled smoke or vapors, and in the case of vapors, sometimes to control that gases condensation to a liquid or solid state. Gases might be considered wetter than a liquid and gas will condense into a liquid usually as it cools, which may itself further condense into a solid state under specific conditions. Here is a commercially available Smoke Eraser and its mate, another Smoke Eraser. Why a pair? Well, you alternate or rotate the sploofs so they have time to dry and cool, theoretically performing better, for longer. Like giving a guy a Viagra. Actually, it is more like having two guys taking turns humping something or someone. I am getting OT? Yes, but it is a better analogy. Metaphor. It seems better to me, bub.
Here is my homemade one. "What is it made from", those inquisitive or industrious ones may be asking out loud or quietly between their own ears. Three Bounce dryer sheets, two paper towels, and in place of the traditional empty toilet paper core, I used the nifty packaging a Tenga pocket pussy came in. I like the plastic one because you can pull out the paper towels and damp them, squeeze and or twist them to wring out the water until it is as dry as a wet paper towel can be, and put it back in your sploof. Try doing that with a paper TP tube and you will just make a mess of things. I have not enough chemistry or physics to decide if this provides any improvement to the sploof suppression capabilities for methamphetamine vapor, it may in fact diminish them, but until one of you applied science guys tells me different it will remain part of my ritual for setting up my smoking sesh.
Also, lets say you disarmed your booby traps and actually let some citizen into your smoking lair but you forgot to hide your sploof and it is discovered by the citizen. Oh baby. If they smoke weed they probably will know why that paper towel is stuffed with dryer sheets because they have made their own "Bounce tubes" before, but perhaps not and now you have to explain yourself son. In the case of my contraption I will wait to see if it simply causes confusion and shrug and try to change the subject. If the confused citizen continues to provoke this issue I would just tell a truth, but not the truth. "It is the packaging my pocket pussy came in", I would say sheepishly. Citizen will prolly, sorry, probably, be embarrassed, and/or embarrassed for you, and may happily change the subject for you. Sure, now they know you masturbate but would you rather have them think you are a pothead? That shit might be mad illegal my friend. In a few states, it is. Keep it real! You are an EVIL methhead and thats the last thing even your average methhead wants a citizen to think. Myself, I would like to be brave in this situation and serve that citizen their first dose of the eventual end of their lives as they know it. Why would I do that to someone? I am terribly lonely and I have never served anyone a hit, methamphetamine naive or otherwise.
Try making your own and put more or less filtering materials in your sploof until you find the amount that gives you the desired suppression and back pressure for your average hit.
Using a sploof
"Put some glass in the pipe and smoke it."
In this case it is nearly that simple. As you set the pipe down, pull the sploof up to your pie hole and blow into the intake end, regardless of the level of pressure you feel to exhale. In other words, you are hopefully already holding your hits in as long as you can, so you can probably get the sploof in place before you explode hot gaseous meth to wander off and stick to everything it bumps into as it cools. When the pressure has reached a high, but not stroke inducing level, slowly exhale your all of your lung gases into the sploof mouthparts. With practice you will find the right level for your sploof and your average cloud volumes and density.
I have to admit that using a Smoke Eraser pair I have never seen even a wisp of meth come out of a hit I blew into the sploof. For a lot of people who aren't brain dead meth zombies this might make more sense than Super Sploofing, which takes concern for your environment or greed for more gear, and enough practice to get good at it. Kill one, take it apart, and you will see why. (Extra Credit and Mad Props to anyone who can figure out how to extract the methamphetamine in one, so can someone here ask one of our cooks or chemists to give it a try? I'm sure its a mixture of something hard or so icky and tedious only a tweaker would do it and some simple chemistry!) Don't go with what the package says of 1500 hits. They be referring to a pot hit I think. No one markets to our kind. [sad face]. Even though us tweakers be legion, we be marginalized. Tweaker Lives Matter, I say. Anyways, you killed your Smoke Eraser when you can't push a hit through, which is going to depend on how much you exhale into it and if you are doing the buddy system with your sploofs. Some people (young people, people who are still very healthy, athletes, newer tweakers, people who don't mine coal for a living) can hold their hits in for as long as they can and exhale a thin cloud of meth. Beat up old farts who have been killing themselves with meth and crack binges for twenty years or more probably don't have the most efficient lungs and have even more reason to get good at using some kind of sploof.
Improvising a sploof
That brake works kinda great if you use one and it's already right there in your hand. Your shit probably just cracked back and bowl cooled enough to set down when you start to need to exhale. Just wad it up in a loose fist and put it in front of your face just give it a kiss while you let out the hit. I use a small washcloth when I use a brake. I only use a brake these days when I am working with huge puddles, I don't know another way to cool that much hot product fast enough. I barely ever use huge puddles because they are hard to work with and I have no friends to share a bowl with so small puddles seem the way to go. But I digress. My main issue with this is that brake has all kinds of shit in it including methamphetamine and I don't want to stop having such a pretty face so I only recommend this for an emergency, and then go wash your face!
I've used hotel room towels. Curtains. I have blown a hit into my hoodie or under my comforter. Again, don't do this. Up your game and sploof intentionally.
Can We Talk Reclaim, Team Methamphetamine?
I will be serious for this section because this is the most serious issue with today's methamphetamine game, IMO.
A long time ago, my meth guy blew me my first glass crank pipe and suddenly methamphetamine was one hundred fold more interesting to me. Burning drugs on foil was straightforward enough. "Don't burn the straw, don't spill any Crystal" and then I was rushing. Now I was curious about everything about her. Where was she from? Who were her parents? What was she? What made her brain tick? She was just such an odd substance when heated in glass and I couldn't figure it all out for awhile. I was so interested I kept my bubbles and stems really clean and learned to turn the stem off the centerline, even sometimes setting up mirrors, so I could watch every hit's behavior. I am sure my consumption went up a few points a day as I twirled bowl after bowl testing various hypothesis. I was never a filthy pipe, burnt product tweaker unless I was three days phrangled and shaking like a leaf and fiending, and it paid off to be able to see everything. I really started to understand her.
I realized that she had three states. In the bag she was a beautiful platinum solid. I turned her into a pretty blond liquid that got almost as dark as honey the longer I applied heat. (I am cringing a little because these days if I use a Bic I keep the whole puddle clear and white until it shrinks to nothing, but this was when I was a rookie.) If I add airflow she turned into a platinum gas until she was gone. I suspected that stuff in the stem was that gas turning back into a solid. I scraped some out and snuffleupagus that powder and screamed. Just kidding, even today reclaim is the only thing I like to take up my nose. No need to crush it, and it don't even sting. (I put a 30mg dex and its filler up each nostril every thirty minutes when amp wanking, your pain tolerance may vary.) That vapor is pure meth and turns back into a solid. Hypothesis confirmed. For a year or so I got a little sad as I would blow out each hit. The clouds would hit every wall in my room eventually and that meant a large volume of my drugs seemed to be being wasted all day and night long. I would smoke more tina and wish there was some way to not lose so much. I tried blowing my hits into coffee cans or on to cold glass pie plates or even a big cardboard box I would put over my head and tweaker arms while I smoked. (Hahaha silly CD you are a goofy tweaker!) I started holding my hits in and that improved things, everyone should always do this. For awhile I took smallish hits, but the addict in me didn't like that conservationist approach. I almost had it when I used an empty Gatorade bottle as an improvised sploof. I watched the vapor slowly float out the top, which I covered with my hand, and then I kinda sipped the vapor and blew out: a lot less vapor which was kinda what I was looking for since I knew my lungs had absorbed some, but it was a pitiful amount recovered and there was no rush and isn't that the name of the game? I knew I was close to something but what? Then my buddy Matt got a volcano and we were smoking Grandaddy Purp and filling "turkey bags" with cannabis vapors and I knew what I had to do. The "turkey bags" worked in a sense, I could cut my losses, but I was bored reusing the same rushless hit and I knew the bags were wrong for this. I spent a really frustrating week using one anyways, hoping to harvest reclaim from the interior. A lightbulb went off and I stopped that nonsense and got a balloon. I hated the way the back pressure felt for some reason but it worked. I did this for quite some time and I was happy when I would see all that reclaim in the balloon. But when it came time to harvest I never found an efficient way beyond filling it with water and drinking that and I wanted a solid. Anyone? (Since coming to this thread, or at least this forum, I learned a neat trick I need to try: stretch the balloon each which way before you use it to lower that back pressure.) I would still use a balloon if there really was hardly ever no reason not to use a Super Sploof, or if someone tells me how to easily get that powdery reclaim inside the balloon.
Making a Super Sploof
1. Grab yourself a plastic bottle with a cap. Take out your tacticial EDC drop point liner lock, flip that bad boy open and make a slit about a centimeter long about a third of the way up from the bottom of the bottle. Go to one end or the other of that slit and push that razor sharp tip in about 2mm above the slit. Keep pushing straight in until your knife edge is 2mm past the other side of the slit. We should have a "T" or a sideways "T" or a "T" rotated by any number of degrees you think is most pleasing. Now take that knife tip and very slightly deform the carb just a bit so it can be felt by your palm, finger or thumb when it is touching one of those spots. It doesn't take much of a deformation as the plastic feels pretty sharp at the carbs edges. Make sense? Good 'cause we almost done.
2. Fill that bottle up with water about halfway to the carb. I use distilled if I am going to rerock it, tons of posts here on that, read the section on usage before you put acetone in it, please. I usually just use tap water as my reclaim medium. Whatever liquid is in it, after we have used the Super Sploof more than once we will call what is inside the reclaim medium. Once you use it you will probably see why I don't use Mtn Dew or Kool Aid but if you can't stand the taste of meth and aren't going to condense it, go for it girl! After doing this for twenty years I am resigned that I am going to lose a ml of reclaim medium (aka meth) on my lips or out the carb when I lose track of the carb, but in practice I don't get many of those. Maybe once a bowl. If anyone can improve it by redesign or technique please enlighten me. It's the one thing I do consistently that makes me feel kinda like a sloppy don't give a shit tweaker and that makes it all a little less Super, so if you fix it you a saint.
Making a Super Sploof FAQ
Q: What's an EDC?
A: I was fucking around with someone. A utility knife works best for this.
Q: What plastic bottle works best.
A: I am going to say to each their own, or that you will figure it out. Any plastic bottle with a cap will do. I have used every kind of bottle I have come into contact with and there are merits to different shapes, sizes, and cap sizes. Personally I like the wide necks of the Powerade bottles and that is what I use these days, but if I am worried about getting meth on my lips or chin I will start using a little water bottle I can put the whole neck of inside my lips, but I find this less comfortable to use. I tried a Tropicana orange juice bottle a few weeks ago and it sucked. I also don't think two liter bottles work too good but they might feel great to you.
Q: I let kids in my smoking lair!
A: Really. Keep very close tabs on that reclaim medium or don't use a Super Sploof at all. For gods sakes use a normal sploof or they are probably getting some meth all over themselves when they play in that room anyways. I would hate to hear a kid drank your meth infused white cherry Gatorade in a real bad way, but I don't like to think of them running around with tweaker skin either. Perhaps I am wrong about this and something happens when it hits latex paint and its all absorbed below the surface, I am no chemist. All I know is if I don't use a sploof I tend to exhale in the same place, and I smoke so much meth that place is noticeably grimy with lots of dust stuck to it the next day. Especially noticeable on my monitors, Apple TV, Apple TV remote, external hard drives, headphones, and sometimes my iPhone if I don't move it all day. All these things are black high index plastics or black glass and it's just something I can't unsee.
Q: Why no pictures of one?
A: There is nothing to see here. It just looks like a plastic bottle. That's the beauty of it. I am right next to one all day long when I am smoking and I can never see the carb unless I mark it with a sharpie. A crime scene investigator may notice the modification or otherwise suspect the reclaim medium is a solution of meth, but then again they may not. I doubt if you didn't have any other paraphernalia out and a cop interviewing you somehow knew it was full of meth he could make PC hold up in court. If you are worried about that just drink you reclaim medium when it stops looking like water. (Colored plastic Super Sploofs can be used to express your inner child but they also hide the cloudiness of meth water, for better or worse.) Your neighbor or landlord is not going to wonder about a Super Sploof should they see it. Law enforcement are probably going to ID a conventional sploof, and if you don't use one your probably fucked because surface tests are done routinely if they have PC. In any case when I am done with a smoking sesh, or I notice it has gone white, I just drink the reclaim medium, rinse the bottle, and throw it away. I hardly ever bother to condense it, the oral solutions I get are pretty strong even for me and I usually find myself tweaking another 12 hours if not a lot more.
Q: Why not a bigger/smaller/rounder/cooler/additional carb?
A: Try it and see how it works for you. When I am being super anal about everything I will make a Super Super Sploof and think it is so much better! What is that? The last one was more Super than the one I described above because it had three carbs near each other, and I took the time to bend those carbs in a little so they were larger, and I carefully removed the label on the carb half of the bottle so it was easier to see which side to face away from me when I used it. I loved how it took less exhale pressure to sploof your whole hit but day or two later I went back to my usual one because I still lost track of the carb side, picked it up a little bit the wrong way, and spilled more than a few ml of reclaim medium on my comforter. I am a tweaker who overdoses himself often and in a neurotoxic way fairly often, so that just made me love the original Super Sploof again cuz its the bestest for sloppy tweaker boys IME. Maybe I am laying down and making less exhale pressure, or maybe I am at my desk and I want one with a carb I can easily feel or see and cover with my finger to prevent drips if I grab it the wrong way. The longer you use one the more you will intuit what you really want or think is best.
Q: Wouldn't it filter better if you use X ml of water/orange juice/tomato juice/milk.
A: Try it with more or less water. Emulsify some peanut butter and olive oil and try that. I love your idea. Just move your carb hole height as needed so when invert it you don't have to cover the carb to prevent it peeing on you.
Q: You are trying to say there is meth in the meth smoke? This whole thread is about blowing out huge clouds of smoke!
A: I am trying to say let's get all that vapor we have been wasting if we can, and keep it off of our walls and everything we own. And ok, let's see if it working. I cleaned my apartment very throughly when I moved in because thats just who I am. Months later I had some mild paranoia and I bought a meth surface test kit from Amazon for $32. My walls and my desk and my nightstand and the ceiling all came back negative so either my sploofing is working, or I am an idiot and wasting your time.
Q: Are you smoking meth right now? You sound like a moron.
A: Not yet! I said I wasn't going to smoke until I post this. But I am still very messed up in a few neurotransmitters by that peanut butter crank I smoked in college and I need to wrap this up and sleep, so, on to the next section.
Using a Super Sploof
As you pick up your lighter to start your hit, confirm your Super Sploof is right where it is supposed to be, within easy reach, the cap is laying on top but not screwed on, and if you want to be perfect every time that the carb is facing the same wall you are. The carb can be hard to see with the lights on and I smoke a lot in dim light or the dark so I often skip the last part and hope my tweaker super powers and the Lucky Charms I had for breakfast will protect me from a drop coming out.
Let's presume you like your Super Sploof next to your lighter's parking spot, which you are just putting down and you have about three or four seconds, maybe a little more before you want to exhale. The actual length of time and ideal hit to take and volume of water to move in your bottle will take some time to coordinate to catch all the vapor, but you'll stop thinking about all that once you have been Super Sploofing a few weeks.
Take that not-screwed on cap off the top and set it down next to your lighter.
Grab the Super Sploof at the same height as the carb but don't start to lift it until you confirm the carb is obviously facing the wrong way. For me, I usually can feel the carb is under my hand somehow when it is, it just feels different against my thumb palm or finger. If it is it facing your hand either turn the bottle sharply so the carb isn't pointed right at you or cover it with your palm or your finger or whatever seems to be the best bet. I find this is where it doesn't matter as much as this tweaker overthinks it does. Unless that carb is in a sweet spot close to facing right at you, and your hand failed to cover that rogue carb for some reason, the carb is very small and I very rarely have it drip on me or my stuff when I invert it. The reclaim medium is only passing over that carb for less than a second when you invert it smoothly, or missed it completely if you rotated the sploof so carb is away. If you are getting lots of drips take smaller hits and put less water in until you are good at that. Don't blow monster clouds until you confirm you have enough reclaim medium and can exhale slow enough to get every bit of product you just smoked.
So now you have your head tilted back, sploof pointed straight up, and some icky meth water touching your lips. Exhale as slowly as you can and make that reclaim medium burble like it is in a bong. For the first few days you are going to lose meth anyways. The good news is you can only get better at it! Overthink it if you have to do that. Like anything worth doing, I think it is just a matter or practice and commitment that leads to inevitable improvement. PM me if y.on't get it and I can try to help you tune your Super Sploof or coach you on technique if you are just not getting this part.
When you are done, reverse the inversion and set the Super Sploof down in its spot. Rest it's cap on top, because you may have some thin meth gas in there, which should condense itself pretty quickly into your reclaim medium. If there is clearly a lot of thick gas in your Super Sploof, tighten the cap, cover the carb hole, and shake it up and down until it clears out, which will take awhile and be louder than your bong noises during exhalation. Don't forget to make sure the cap is loosened before you start your next hit.
Um... I think I need to go to bed now. Nice meeting y'all!
- CD
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* Yes, this is a self deprecating and self referential and yes for awhile I was using a pookie shaped like the one below where the globe is kind of flattened. I think they are meant to be moved over the torch laterally rather than rolled. (I might be wrong but I got better results doing that than when I rolled it.) The idea was to try and hit with just one hand holding up the torch so my other one wouldn't have to stop doing sexy stuff to myself. I clutched the piece (gently!) with my teeth and lips and tongue, stem end behind my full set of healthy teeth like a good dental patient, and moved my head in kind of a V pattern, about 10 degrees off center, left than right, and followed it with my torch by rotating the torch, not changing the torch position in the center. When my lungs were full I plugged the stem with my tongue and exhale through my nose, when done I would resume inhaling and applying heat. The interior of the super thick globe never gets hot enough to scorch it but it makes nice dense vapor. These are made of really thick glass, so I would smoke about a .15 or .2 point bowl at a time, never taking the pipe out of my mouth and never stopping the fantasy I was having with the action on my computer screen. I did rip those eyes away long enough to try to understand how it was working and it is hard to explain. The movement was causing the puddle to move left and right but the torch was most of the time close to the center so at the central part of the movement the high heat from dipping the product closer to a torch (closer on the x and y plane at the same time) caused the puddle to want to run opposite the centripetal (physics majors are probably groaning "centrifugal!") force, and as you reached the outside parts of the movement the sudden change kept the puddle from climbing up past the middle of the weird angular side walls. I haven't done this for a long time, but for awhile I thought I was Christopher Columbus and had discovered interruption-free stimwanking.
There is probably a whole 'nother reason there are pieces shaped like this and I have no idea what it is, but I bought a piece very much like this in New Mexico and then this one in New Hampshire so they aint that rare me don't thinks. The stem just above the globe also has these spikes running up and down next to each other. IDK why but I suspect they are meant to keep puddles from climbing the stem? I've used the pipe tilted way up as that suggests and the results are ok. You get lots of little puddles around the spikes and in that area of the globe and then I tilt the pipe down and hit them hard with the torch. Not a fan of that though. That is kind of like using those pipes shaped like a skull. It works but it can be nasty if you get those too hot. If you know it's true purpose or intention, please tell me, I will be happy if I got the mechanics wrong and I will still be happy if I figured it out myself!