Meth - New User Questions and Observations

[Charles86]

Hi all, I've been reading some post and decided it was time to make one of my own!

Last year, right at the beginning of June, I went through a really traumatic breakup with a girlfriend who I used to date. Things had gotten messy for a long time and we were drinking HARD together, blacking out ALL-THE-TIME and eventually it all just imploded one night. Our friendship ended very, very badly and I vowed I was going to either give up drinking or cut wayyyyyy back.

So, her sister, who is super cool (we're just friends) asked me if I wanted to try some meth. And I figured, why the heck not? We had A BLAST. She was no stranger to it but was only a few months ahead of me in using it. For the first few months she'd get a little bit, we'd smoke a little, stay up all damn night listening to music and having fun and go from there. Well, in the autumn, I landed a full-time job (a really good one too!) so I couldn't stay up many nights. We kept using but I noticed that it was starting to affect us both really differently.

She has a bad past with drug addiction and alcoholism, and I noticed she began snorting larger and larger quantities, sometimes to the point where I was like "Uh, that's a LOT." Also, I was noticing that her comedown and in-betweens were getting worse and more erratic. Her husband found out one night and so she needed to stop although she wants to start again someday.

For me, I kinda went in the opposite direction: smoking meth fairly regularly helped me relax, gave me a "stoned" kind of feeling like "Hey let's listen to Mazzy Star and lay around on pillows" lol. It was weirdly just like "relaxing"....sure, there'd be nights when I couldn't sleep but for the most part, I've really enjoyed it.

So, almost a year in and I've lost 100 pounds (don't worry, I was at 300lb and REALLY needed to lose weight) over the past 10 months or so. I also exercise a lot, go for really long runs, lift weights and am pretty good about my vitamins and supplements. Also, I've LITERALLY stopped drinking, like completely. I know that my insane alcoholism was a big reason I was so overweight. I' haven't looked this good since I was in high school lol, So, all in all, I'm really enjoying it.

But I have 3 concerns:
1. I want to keep doing it but I miss doing it with my friend. But, of course, I don't want to mess her up by introducing it back into our friendship. I know she misses it also and I hate that I'm hiding it behind her back that I'm still using. Why did it affect her so differently and so badly?
2. I love the weight loss BUT one thing that I don't like: it has KILLED my sex drive. Like, nada, zip, zilch. I hardly even jerk-off anymore! Is that normal?
3. I know at some point my connection is likely going to get busted, I mean, it just happens. I don't know how I would go about finding a new one and I'm worried about the complete "come down" that I've read. I'm also worried I'll gain all that weight back!

Anyways, nice to meet ya all and thanks for any feedback!

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Pretty sure her husband didn't like you using meth together so I think you answered your own question on that one. If she wants t stay married it probably isn't a good idea to use with her anymore regardless if either of you miss each other.

Losing 100 lbs on meth is pretty drastic but like you said you could afford to lose it and look good now. Don't let the 200 lbs go down below 170 and you should be fine.

Meth usually increases sex drive. If your's is non existent than yes, that isn't normal. Maybe it's not the meth and it's your testoserone levels.

Fearing losing your connection is every addicts fear. I'm sure if you look hard enough you will find a second source. Completely coming down is going to happen sooner or later. At one point in everyones drug career our supplier is out. Just the nature of the drug world.

Meth affects everyone differently. I hear that females have more issues with coming down. Guess it's just the Mars and Venus thing.

Sounds like youy arre doing fairly well with your addiction right now. That may change. Watch out for the signs of complete derailment of your life.

Nice to meet you too.

 

[Joey]

To me it sounds like you're toward the end of the fun part of meth use. If you've no longer got the social aspect which was so important to you then it's not going to be the same. If you seek out more meth using friends, you're going to find out how the scene is full of fucked up people and the vibe isn't as good as it was. What you had here with your friend is more or less status quo in regular users where people escalate and it becomes trouble.

The weight loss being this extreme doesn't stop at that like where you're looking better for losing weight and even healthy. If you continue to lose this amount of weight this quickly you will look as healthy as anyone who loses too much weight too quickly. You won't. It does pack back on when you start eating normally again too. This might start a cycle for you, so if you make the healthy choice and stop doing meth this way you should have some acceptance that kickstarting a regular metabolism from starvation to eating normally again is going to include gaining weight.

And that's the point I want to make here is it sounds like it's time to reconsider your meth use. It goes downhill from here.