notgoodwithnames
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2014
- Messages
- 8
I am not a heavy user of amphetamines, I have been somewhat recently with getting back into the rave scene..but, namely with MDMA. So, to start the 'trip' I drank a 26 of brandy, over maybe 2 hours. I am a heavy drinker and, this is not uncommon for me. A few hours later into the night, I took 4 MDMA pills. I didn't get the usual super lovey feeling and stuff like that..very minimal for the amount I did. I kinda just felt bugged out, and I'm assuming that means they were dirty or speedy af. After that I smoked a point of meth, and pretty much just sat around doing fuck all.
After the 28 hours, not feeling anything crazy in particular I got another 26 of spiced rum and finished that promptly within the hour. I decided to pick up another 4 points of meth and I smoked that all of of tin foil..probably within 30 minutes. This is only my fourth or fifth time smoking meth, I believe. Well, probably around the 35-36 hour mark I started having auditory hallucinations (perhaps real, who knows?!) I was conversing with people in my head all the time...this does happen when I am off drugs, but not for the prolonged period of time that it did. It's also real strange because when I'd strike a conversation with someone in their head, for the most part they would turn around or look at me if it was on the SkyTrain or Bus System..
Well, that wasn't so bad..the conversations with others or myself kind of helped me out, let me talk about things that were bothering me deep down without having to actually say anything. At around the 40 hour mark things got pretty weird..I started to believe that the entire time I was just talking to the woman that I love. Perhaps wishful thinking, but I swear I hear her sometimes when I am sober and then she will post something that I had images of...almost like our thoughts are intertwined. Well, once I started to believe that I had pretty intense conversations with her..and then I started to panic because she said she was in trouble and that it was too late and she's already gone. Then it seemed like more and more voices kept coming..like ones that were saying no, that's not me..and no that's not true..or yeah it is bitch, she's already gone...
At this point as I was lying in my bed my hand looked like it was covered in spots of mud..like not completely covered but imagine a fair amount..and it kinda seemed like it was moving. Now, this kind of scared me only because I thought she was outside somewhere and actually in trouble..not so much for the hallucination. I was lying down staring at the ceiling and something that I can say is akin to the shadow people aforementioned began to descend. The thing was it was clear, and originally was just a set of arms and hands..then it kind of spun around and looked almost like a jellyfish or something...i saw a spot of red on the floor..and then the ceiling and walls began rotating red and green circles...that disappeared and right above me to my left...for a square cubic foot or two perhaps was something I can only say was akin to how bubbles look as you are sinking underwater...with a slight greyer tinge that was almost like the water it self..what really fucked me up was earlier in my conversation with her (being the woman I love) she was telling me that we're sinking. After this I saw the same things a few times...some white dots everywhere in the 3D space in my room like whizzing around. Then something that initially scared me happened..eventually as it stayed for a while i got over it. A different pair of hands much smaller than the pair before came out of the wall beside me and then stroked my face and i felt my right nostril itch. That was kinda creepy...well then shit started to get even weirder...the hands that came down from my room before descended again, along with 2 other pairs...i tried to grab one of the sets and they said dont let me go...so it started to pull itself down and it was a head and then a body and eventually a bit of upper legs..its hands were the most clearly defined of all..fingers and hands clearly visible. Once it started to get closer, I don't know if it took on this form because I thought of it or because it actually did but then i started seeing glasses on its face and I could see the outline of a hard hat on its head. Well, seeing as this is how I look when I'm at work I was like HOLY SH*T..I kind of freaked out and let it go and it disappeared back into the ceiling. Then it would come back down in the same way as it did before..each time becoming more and more defined. I could see its teeth when it smiled and they were mine without a doubt.
It got really close to my face like literally an inch or less and when it opened its mouth it started getting really foggy in that area..the figure floated back up and stood maybe a foot above me (upright this time..as opposed to hanging down from the ceiling) and started doing rave dance moves just like I would..I hadn't really tried to communicate with it still at this point..I was kind of just in awe..strangely, I wasn't scared at all. Well it retreated once again and then those little hands came out of the wall again...and a head and body...not visible until maybe a few inches from my face on the left side..and I could no longer see the hands but it was a creepy skull with a hood and I let it get closer and closer and it disappeared into my nose. (Just as writing this, I was thinking how much cocaine I used to do..like a half gram every day for 8 months mind u in 2012..wonder if that means nething, like I died or someone i love will die from it..anyway) Well, that kinda bugged me out but not as much as u think it would...my figure descended again..only gradually taking form as it descended further and further. It went right up to me and smiled again and this time I thought to it "What's your name?" He laughed and told me his name was Nadroj...and I'm like fuck off thats my name backwards, and he's like you knew I'd say that didn't you? And I felt like I did...he was like no, no I'm you man..I'm your soul, buddy. I'm like fuck so you actually are gone huh? And he's like yep, well not exactly..we're not really in the same space. He said that in the world I'm living in souls have been exchanged..I was the soul of the girl I love..a different girl who I also loved before was the soul of me, and that the girl I am in love with right now was the soul of her..he sat on my tv which is at the foot of the bed..saying how he really fucked up..and that we pretty much fucked them up..that it was our fault. and well i came to the conclusion that if that were the case..if i could make 'myself' in this plane of existance happy it would make the girl i love happy..and that would make the girl i used to love happy which would make me happy in the end in the world where the other me came from. after..this part is kind of weird and fucked up even after all that..like I saw a figure standing up, and another one bent over and the one standing looked as if it were either choking the bent one, cutting its throat, or fucking it..like I really don't know and I know that's really hella weird but damn i was like wtf...I know for sure it wasn't a dream..I did fall asleep at around the 50 hour mark or so? I got up for a period of time after all the trippy shit happened to get some water..I hadn't eaten probably 35 hours or so, and had minimal consumption of water. It also is important to note that I do frequently think that I am dead, I recall being shot through the head..but I don't know if it's true..and I heard the girl I love tell me before no one cares if you die because you're already dead. I don't know how things could manifest that crazily if all rooted in my subconscious. I am kind of scared and frequently think we live in Hell..and we are stuck repeating the same life over and over. But I swore to the girl I love that I will gain enough power to change fate..and that I will break us free from this pseudo-existence. Are these types of hallucinations normal?
I know it is a lot of text..any help would be greatly appreciated..
After the 28 hours, not feeling anything crazy in particular I got another 26 of spiced rum and finished that promptly within the hour. I decided to pick up another 4 points of meth and I smoked that all of of tin foil..probably within 30 minutes. This is only my fourth or fifth time smoking meth, I believe. Well, probably around the 35-36 hour mark I started having auditory hallucinations (perhaps real, who knows?!) I was conversing with people in my head all the time...this does happen when I am off drugs, but not for the prolonged period of time that it did. It's also real strange because when I'd strike a conversation with someone in their head, for the most part they would turn around or look at me if it was on the SkyTrain or Bus System..
Well, that wasn't so bad..the conversations with others or myself kind of helped me out, let me talk about things that were bothering me deep down without having to actually say anything. At around the 40 hour mark things got pretty weird..I started to believe that the entire time I was just talking to the woman that I love. Perhaps wishful thinking, but I swear I hear her sometimes when I am sober and then she will post something that I had images of...almost like our thoughts are intertwined. Well, once I started to believe that I had pretty intense conversations with her..and then I started to panic because she said she was in trouble and that it was too late and she's already gone. Then it seemed like more and more voices kept coming..like ones that were saying no, that's not me..and no that's not true..or yeah it is bitch, she's already gone...
At this point as I was lying in my bed my hand looked like it was covered in spots of mud..like not completely covered but imagine a fair amount..and it kinda seemed like it was moving. Now, this kind of scared me only because I thought she was outside somewhere and actually in trouble..not so much for the hallucination. I was lying down staring at the ceiling and something that I can say is akin to the shadow people aforementioned began to descend. The thing was it was clear, and originally was just a set of arms and hands..then it kind of spun around and looked almost like a jellyfish or something...i saw a spot of red on the floor..and then the ceiling and walls began rotating red and green circles...that disappeared and right above me to my left...for a square cubic foot or two perhaps was something I can only say was akin to how bubbles look as you are sinking underwater...with a slight greyer tinge that was almost like the water it self..what really fucked me up was earlier in my conversation with her (being the woman I love) she was telling me that we're sinking. After this I saw the same things a few times...some white dots everywhere in the 3D space in my room like whizzing around. Then something that initially scared me happened..eventually as it stayed for a while i got over it. A different pair of hands much smaller than the pair before came out of the wall beside me and then stroked my face and i felt my right nostril itch. That was kinda creepy...well then shit started to get even weirder...the hands that came down from my room before descended again, along with 2 other pairs...i tried to grab one of the sets and they said dont let me go...so it started to pull itself down and it was a head and then a body and eventually a bit of upper legs..its hands were the most clearly defined of all..fingers and hands clearly visible. Once it started to get closer, I don't know if it took on this form because I thought of it or because it actually did but then i started seeing glasses on its face and I could see the outline of a hard hat on its head. Well, seeing as this is how I look when I'm at work I was like HOLY SH*T..I kind of freaked out and let it go and it disappeared back into the ceiling. Then it would come back down in the same way as it did before..each time becoming more and more defined. I could see its teeth when it smiled and they were mine without a doubt.
It got really close to my face like literally an inch or less and when it opened its mouth it started getting really foggy in that area..the figure floated back up and stood maybe a foot above me (upright this time..as opposed to hanging down from the ceiling) and started doing rave dance moves just like I would..I hadn't really tried to communicate with it still at this point..I was kind of just in awe..strangely, I wasn't scared at all. Well it retreated once again and then those little hands came out of the wall again...and a head and body...not visible until maybe a few inches from my face on the left side..and I could no longer see the hands but it was a creepy skull with a hood and I let it get closer and closer and it disappeared into my nose. (Just as writing this, I was thinking how much cocaine I used to do..like a half gram every day for 8 months mind u in 2012..wonder if that means nething, like I died or someone i love will die from it..anyway) Well, that kinda bugged me out but not as much as u think it would...my figure descended again..only gradually taking form as it descended further and further. It went right up to me and smiled again and this time I thought to it "What's your name?" He laughed and told me his name was Nadroj...and I'm like fuck off thats my name backwards, and he's like you knew I'd say that didn't you? And I felt like I did...he was like no, no I'm you man..I'm your soul, buddy. I'm like fuck so you actually are gone huh? And he's like yep, well not exactly..we're not really in the same space. He said that in the world I'm living in souls have been exchanged..I was the soul of the girl I love..a different girl who I also loved before was the soul of me, and that the girl I am in love with right now was the soul of her..he sat on my tv which is at the foot of the bed..saying how he really fucked up..and that we pretty much fucked them up..that it was our fault. and well i came to the conclusion that if that were the case..if i could make 'myself' in this plane of existance happy it would make the girl i love happy..and that would make the girl i used to love happy which would make me happy in the end in the world where the other me came from. after..this part is kind of weird and fucked up even after all that..like I saw a figure standing up, and another one bent over and the one standing looked as if it were either choking the bent one, cutting its throat, or fucking it..like I really don't know and I know that's really hella weird but damn i was like wtf...I know for sure it wasn't a dream..I did fall asleep at around the 50 hour mark or so? I got up for a period of time after all the trippy shit happened to get some water..I hadn't eaten probably 35 hours or so, and had minimal consumption of water. It also is important to note that I do frequently think that I am dead, I recall being shot through the head..but I don't know if it's true..and I heard the girl I love tell me before no one cares if you die because you're already dead. I don't know how things could manifest that crazily if all rooted in my subconscious. I am kind of scared and frequently think we live in Hell..and we are stuck repeating the same life over and over. But I swore to the girl I love that I will gain enough power to change fate..and that I will break us free from this pseudo-existence. Are these types of hallucinations normal?
I know it is a lot of text..any help would be greatly appreciated..
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