Stimulants Meth Getting Out of control this time

[Misskitt]

I first started IV’ing meth when I was 14. About 17 years ago. I could take it or leave it. Throughout the rest of my teenage years I had a shot a few times a year and just not think about it too much. When I was 19 I was dating a dealer and I was using almost every day for 8 months. I got drug induced psychosis and ended up in the psych ward for 2 months. Since then I’ve used with friends on occasion with my biggest benders being about a month. This time I’ve been using for a month and I’ve never felt so addicted. I will have a 0.25+ shot and if I’m not cross eyed jaw shaking I’ll do one again an hour later. Sometimes I will use 1g in 24 hours whereas my new partner has been using almost every day for 6 months and goes through max 0.2 in 24 hours. He smokes. I usually don’t chase drugs hard, I’ll make an impulse decision to get on and if I’m not sorted in about an hour I’ll give up and not worry about it. This bender though I’ve been out of control. I’ve scored drugs from randoms on Kik, thought about meeting up for Chen Sex with people, inviting an unknown dealer to my address behind my partners back scheming and deceiving until I finally had my big overamp then he asked me and I told him. I have not been studying, don’t have my routines going on, not being myself just consumed and compelled to use again to get super wasted, I won’t bother using if i smoke or have less than 1.5. Help. Advice? What stage am I at?

 

[Gaffy]

At the stage ehe

 

[euphoricc]

listen i was a meth addict for 1 year at 1st it was great i loved it than it turned on me~!!!!!!!!! fk meth it was hard but it`s over for me god blesss u can beat this addiction

 

[codydion]

yep i've been there. smoking is one thing, but that needle.. holy does it have some power. it's only gonna get crazier and crazier. the meth scene where i'm from is just out of control. i know i didn't stop for years and years until my paranoia was getting so bad i wouldn't meet friends or even walk around in public out of fear. it's get bad. wish you the best though i truly do nobody should have to go through that torture.

 

[tweakerguy]

Get yourself a grip of benzos, and come down. There's no alternative at this point.
You're at the stage where the meth is going to keep taking and taking, but giving nothing back.
I always likened it to the old saying about the devil coming to collect his due. Just pay up and get it over with, cause it gets real fucking dark from here on out.

 

[Jabberwocky]

You are definitely at the end stage. I was there a few months back. Actually end stage beings as soon as you start IV'ing - no matter how long ago that was. The only answer is to stop immediately and give yourself a break for at least a few years.

At your dosage levels and patterns of use you may need help to kick it. At the very least you would benefit from benzos and possibly seroquel or some other anti-psychotic for a while until you get through the psychological withdrawal. With benos and anti-psychotics it took me a month of comedown from a 1 g a day habit. After about a month I had no desire to touch meth at all. But during that period the cravings were unbelievable and difficult to handle. I found telling the people I lived with what I was going through really helpful - so I did not have the stress of hiding it from them to add to my troubles.

Your pattern of behaviour sounds really manic and not just from the drugs maybe? I only say that because it sounds very similar to me and I have bipolar. I found that proper treatment for my bi-polar lessened the crazyness of my drug use - though did not stop it completely.

 

[Iceman1216]

You are at the end!! How's the view looking over into the Abyss??
I remember being there and in total fear, and crying to God to help me go No further!! I knew that I belonged right where I was; and earned that spot, but I did not want to go any Lower!! So I sad I would stay right there if he would help me go No Lower? I stopped and worked my way out of that shit hole, and Never will touch it again ( I hope)
Stop please, your body and mind are getting fried

 

[codydion]

well said @Iceman1216 it's end game your body and mind. and the soul disappears so fast once that needle comes into play.

 

[Misskitt]

yep i've been there. smoking is one thing, but that needle.. holy does it have some power. it's only gonna get crazier and crazier. the meth scene where i'm from is just out of control. i know i didn't stop for years and years until my paranoia was getting so bad i wouldn't meet friends or even walk around in public out of fear. it's get bad. wish you the best though i truly do nobody should have to go through that torture.

I feel your pain. I had a massive psychotic

listen i was a meth addict for 1 year at 1st it was great i loved it than it turned on me~!!!!!!!!! fk meth it was hard but it`s over for me god blesss u can beat this addiction

feel your pain. I was already schizophrenic b it undiagnosed untreated, went on an 8 month bender and ended up completely psychotic in the psych ward for 2 months.

leant my lesson and only used once in 3 years. Went on a 3 month bender and spentover $30k.

leant mylesson. Again for 3 Years didn’t touch it then went on a2 week bender ended up in the psych ward again. Usedoccasionally for the next year then used occasinally. Had an attitude change though. I’m angry at drugs atmabd fuxking hate them. Keen to get striahbt al of a sudden

 

[Misskitt]

Thanks so much guys. Have had a revaluation. Been frustrated at the poor quality of stuff, to me right now dealers are the scum of the earth.

I have schizophrenia,borderline personality disorder, CPTSD, detession anxiety but been in remission for over a year no stmtpomw. Think theBPD is coming back though with this impulsive reckless behaviour and fuck it all attitude.

I’m done for agood while. At least until corona is over. Andif I do use it will be one dose on occasion. Fuck addIcroon,fuck meth.

 

[Jopeth]

One of the most empowering things iver ever done for myself was throwing a gram of some super pure crystal into a puddle. It just garbage man, all you gotta do is throw it away (y)

Get some sleep op! you've already done the easy part.

 

[codydion]

@Jopeth that's some good advice. that was the very first step to my recovery. poured a game into the toilet and flushed her down. flushed and flushed and flushed to make sure it was gone.

 

[euphoricc]

stay strong throw ice out~!

 

[MotoT450]

Just remember to love yourself! Take care of your body and mind first! If your not happy with a behavior, always remember you can change it! But don’t forget to reward yourself periodically for positives steps you take. Responsible reward systems help you gain control of you and make smart choices! Things will get better from here

 

[Gaffy]

How the fuck can you spend 30k.. I barely need a K for a K lol. No meth though, but with 30k you should have gotten 10..

 

[2spun4one]

yeah man, what he said...