Meth -- (first time user) A few questions [help!]

[yonhyakunijuu]

Greetings

This weekend I have had my very first meth binge. I bought a half G because my friend said it was more economical *smh*
I am well acquainted with other stimulants such as Adderal and "Base" Amphetamine .
I decided to ingest the Meth orally rather than smoking or IVing... My theory was that if I used it orally , the addiction potential would be lower vs the other ROA i mentioned.
Anyway -- At first , I took about just under 0.1 in a capsule..
When the effects started I thought to myself "I don't see what the hype is about , this is just like Adderal but maybe a little stronger"
So , I thought like "yeah , i can totally just pull off a short stint with this and drop it forever and never use again" .. Now I'm having second thoughts .
See, Ive been doing it now 3 days in a row which I know is quite typical for a lot of regular users and first timers too , I slept for like 3-4 hours the first night with the aid of Valium and woke up the next morning and continued to use but this time decided to ingest it nasally .. I feel like snorting it is more addictive than taking it orally in a capsule like I was.. The first red flag I noticed was that I was starting to think about money a lot in a way like "how can I get more money" And it wasn't directly for more meth but I would say it was a meth related activity
Anyway fast forward through the day I ended up taking much more today than the first day , and it was almost like being sober but just with MUCH more confidence and precision etc with very mild euphoria .. It's now 5:30AM and i had another line (not sure how much but less than 0.1) and I realized at that moment that I really enjoy this shit..
So i began to research it just now and I've read some horrible stuff , and the fact that I've now developed like a taste for this mediocre yet alluring buzz kind of frightens me.

I know it's neurotoxic as fuck, not to mention all the other nasty side effects .
I don't want this lifestyle to consume me. I'm in the very very early stage of the addiction still I think however I can see this going very wrong , very quickly .

Basically , I've come here for advice . After reading other BL threads re; meth use I've decided that I don't want to repeat this EVER. I'm not even coming down yet but I am so sure that I am waaay out of my depth when it comes to managing this habit that I really would like to stop it now before it actually becomes a serious issue.

So far my plan is ;

1) Just empty the rest of it out into the sink or toilet or whatever. This will symbolize me being in control , and it not controlling me.
2) Changing my phone number and completely cutting of all other drug users
3) Seek mental health i,e therapy and just try to nail the root cause of what drew me to do this in the first place ; I think I was depressed.

Is it really as addictive as they say it is ?? I quite enjoy the feeling , I mean , it's okay , it's nothing special but at the same time... i seem to be enjoying it more the more I use it ..
Is what they say true with the whole "You never just do meth once ?" I'm sure it's propaganda but I wanna hear opinions from some REAL people not a anti drug commercial

I apologize if this sounds like a total cop out to users who have been using it for much longer and are really struggling , and i sympathize for those people deeply
but if anybody has ANY advice to offer me on how to just put this behind me forever PLEASE teach me ..

I think my method will work if i actually stick to it and just stay busy but we all know it's just not that simple.
So yeah I'm just here for advice really ...


Lastly , Am I gonna cop any actual brain damage from this 3 day binge ??
I would assume so , but it's nothing I wouldn't be able to bounce back from 100% after a month or so of taking care of myself , right ??
As long as I eat healthy, excercise regularly and stuff I probably will just recover right?
The way it wreaks havoc on your brains dopamine just sounds horrific .

Any comments would be highly appreciated !!!
Thank you

 

[Animalgirl27]

I wish you luck my friend

 

[Pickledlemons]

Lastly , Am I gonna cop any actual brain damage from this 3 day binge ??

Um, no. Your brain will be fine. Meth isn't that neurotoxic, especially at reasonable doses. I mean its available by prescription to 6 year olds...

Is it really as addictive as they say it is ?? I quite enjoy the feeling , I mean , it's okay , it's nothing special but at the same time... i seem to be enjoying it more the more I use it ..
Is what they say true with the whole "You never just do meth once ?" I'm sure it's propaganda but I wanna hear opinions from some REAL people not a anti drug commercial

Yes meth is very psychologically addicting but in my experience its easy to quit once you've had enough. i spent a year on it and then one day I decided the negatives were outweighing the positives, and just stopped cold turkey. Not much withdrawal other than being tired and hungry. I'm having a harder time kicking kratom than I did meth.

Really man, I think you just need to relax. One weekend of meth use hasn't rewired your brain. Finish your bag if you want and then as you said; delete your dealers numbers, and visit support groups for improving your mental health. Move on with your life and you'll forget all about this ordeal.

 

[The Rush]

Taking binges & no sleep will make you paranoid about a lot of things & having that much for first time use is not good! But good news buddy you are ok if you write a post that long and you are just in a paranoid state!
Don?t binge until you know your limits and it?s not recommended you do that at all! Buy only what you want out of your session and remember what you take in you cannot take out, so taking a lot will make go into many bad mind games with no sleep will definitely bring you to bad places that really don?t exist, hearing & seeing things that are not there, thinking people or cops & dea are watching your every move & you just had way to much for your body to function safety!
Just have to deal with it till the end & hopefully your mind will say no more, I?ve had enough!

 

[Keif' Richards]

So, if I'm wrong, I'm totally open to the moderators to throw this back to me, but the way I see it, your issue is more concerned with the psychological implications of your drug use. This sort of thing, as I see it, doesn't really fall within the realm of what we do. We basically help those who have already chosen to use drugs do so as safely as possible. There is nothing wrong with trying to figure out these issues. Almost all of us have had these feelings at one point or another. This is why we actually have a separate sub-forum dedicated to this purpose.

Basic Drug Discussion -> The Dark Side

 

[Mafioso]

I wouldn't be at all concerned about any potential brain damage caused by a 3 day binge so long as you did not lose consciousness and stop breathing. Even if there was something, it would be so minimal I doubt it would be noticeable even under a microscope(per say).

Recognizing a problem or potential problem before it has spiraled out of control is a smart and proactive thing to do. A lot of people will ignore the signs or remain in denial for years before doing something about. I ran myself to the end of my leash.. "dead or in jail" rang true for me. Not everyone gets as bad as I do though to be completely honest, although it's safe to say everyone who uses the same type of drugs at similar amounts is on a path of self-destruction. I got spun out on opioids and benzos. Started as a weekend warrior for years but at some point I lost control of it, as the story goes for so many.

I imagine meth is somewhat similar. The whole "meth, not even once" is a bit of bullshit- you could do it once and be fine but it is known to be extremely habit forming. It's a bit like opening a bag of chips when you're hungry and only eating one. It gets easier the more you do it and harder to stop.

As far as moving forward, sounds like you have a solid plan. The hard part now is following through. Make sure you keep going to counseling/therapy for as long as needed. Don't allow yourself to make excuses to deviate from the plan, find solutions instead when a problem might arise.

You can try going to meetings and see if you like them. Most people will be much heavier users than you, so somethings may not be entirely relatable. More importantly, you need to find a new way to socialize and interact with people who are not using drugs, doing something unrelated to drugs... if that makes sense. Cutting people out of your life is a necessity at times to remain healthy, but be sure not to isolate yourself. Work, art, education, music, and exercise/fitness are all healthy examples of activities that can be used to replace drug use. Don't tear yourself down without building yourself back up.

Working with a substance use disorder counselor really has helped me a lot. I was extremely skeptical about it all when I went to rehab, but it was better than jail cell I was stuck in. Counselors don't know all the answers either, but they might be able to bring to some things to light. they just a part of a much bigger process.