You are already dependent. Google the ashton protocol for benzo tapering to get off.
You do not want to keep this habit going, the longer you are dependent on them the worse the withdrawals will get. Benzo withdrawals are the worst withdrawals, they can cause seizures, as well as heart attack and stroke from severe hypertension if cold turkied, among a page long list of other withdrawal symptoms.
If not tapered off correctly, they have been known to have "never ending withdrawals" or post acute withdrawals, that can last months or even years. They are not meant to be taken for longer then 2 weeks at a time, and your doctor is a dick for getting you dependent on them without properly educating you on just how addictive they are.
They should only be prescribed as needed for the most severe panic attacks, ideally xanax, and should never be taken daily or even more then 2-3x a week.
Google "benzobuddies" for a benzo support forum where people help spread knowledge and aid each other in their journey of getting off benzos.
Benzos terrify me, a few weeks taking 30mg valium a day and i thought i was going to die after a few weeks cold turkied, i basically had a psychotic break. I then slowly tapered off them.
I have anxiety as well, so i understand your struggles. Good luck.
This is all very good information. I've been where you are now carlos, and believe me you're on the road to ruin, as it seems you already are quite dependent both psychologically and physically on the benzodiazepines. However, I assure you that these withdrawal symptoms, like pbuilder above said, will get worse with time, and your tolerance will start to increase dramatically. I first got addicted the very same way you describe, taking relatively low dosages of alprazolam and clonazepam, for therapeutic reasons. It worked great for my anxiety and for my social life. I was able to keep my dosages low, relatively at least, 2mg and under for the first month or two, but eventually .5-1mg dosages weren't doing it for me anymore, and within the next two months I went from 1.5-2mg/day, to about 10-16mg of alprazolam or clonazepam a day, and this was not to get 'fucked up', it was just to maintain that therapeutic effect, which some might call a 'buzz', though for those of us with anxiety, I think it's just 'feeling a little bit better than normal', euphoria was never achieved for me with benzo's alone (unless combined with buprenorphine or methadone), and though later on I did start to abuse benzo's for the sake of enhancing my heroin highs, I did not start with that intention.
I've struggled with benzodiazepine dependance on and off for about 8 years, in the last 5 years or more, I'd say I've succeeded in being off benzo's for maybe 3 months? That would be a generous guess honestly, because benzo withdrawal gets worse and worse, and seems to never end if you don't have a really fucking good taper plan. The key is to take your time, don't try to cold turkey this habit, because, as the above poster mentioned, the withdrawals can literally be fatal, though at your current dose a seizure is probably unlikely, though your rebound anxiety/withdrawals do seem rather extreme already.
When tapering, it's also helpful to get on some kind of anti-convulsant drug for seizure prevention, like Depakote or Gabapentin. I'm actually in a situation now where I have to taper off of 2mg of clonazepam in a three weeks time period, though I'm going to try and extend that time frame, as it will surely set me up for failure. At this point in life I'd take heroin withdrawals any day over benzo withdrawals, though I don't mean to scare you-for quite a long time I was able to white knuckle benzo withdrawal fairly well, but after so many tries and relapses its just become a real struggle, to the point where I have contemplated just being on the medication for the rest of my life (because it actually does increase my quality of life, I have just been put in a situation where it's not possible for me to be on the clonazepam anymore).
One more thing I wanted to note, clonazepam withdrawal, usually takes about 2-3 days to really kick in, at least that's been my experience, with a fast metabolism (however, my liver is compromised, so there are some variables at play that make my situation different than yours). Around day 6-8 they start to become unbearable, and often dangerous for me (as I will start hallucinating and twitching like a madman). So please, don't go down the path I did-I don't regret many things about my drug use, in a way my drug addiction has taught me a lot about life and myself, but knowingly becoming dependent on benzo's time and time again IS one thing I regret, as in the end they've caused me a lot more harm than good. I can't even begin to describe how fucked up my memory has become due to benzodiazepines, there were periods of times when I was using really heavily where I had to TAKE benzos to remember things, even simple shit, like certain words, such as 'dog' or 'cat'.
