Mental dependence

[Innerpeace]

I find I think about when I want to use next, and think about it a lot

Since 2015 have used 6 x's (empathogen and psychedelic) last time was over three months ago and use very responsibly, testing the stuff for purity, making sure dosing is within tolerance range of the batch (each batch purity is different and that takes experience)

I find I have no desire to do anything ; although, think about it a lot, and come on the forums . sometimes talk about it to people i think its okay to, although thats probably not the smartest thing to do. I took a 13, year break from 2002-2015 from everything and even then I used to think about mdma, as I guess the feeling, rush of chemicals is in awe to think of

is this something to be concerned about?

anyone ever do a month break , like some ppl do with porn, where you make a commitment to not look at any of this stuff? bc coming on the forums seems to feed the thoughts.

its no biggie, just something ive noticed and a topic of disscussion

 

[pupnik]

I think affinity, interest, and enjoyment trigger thoughts and actions, without medicalizing it into a disease.

but if a behavior is trigger-able, then you could say it is dependent on the trigger.

all the same - we have learned several things in life, and what we learn is evoked from memory by various stimuli; as such our personalities are dependent upon stimuli, and we are all crazy.

 

[Solipsis]

Yeah I do believe that being on a forum etc just by keeping your attention on drugs feeds fantasies or cravings.

What do you mean by 'no interest to do anything', are you getting no enjoyment out of things in life? Depression or anhedonia? Or do you get it, but just not at the same level of MDMA (of course the euphoria from that can be quite intense, so it's not really abnormal if pedestrian things in every day life are very rare to be so intense. But if you don't find other normal things worth doing anymore it is obviously problematic.

If drugs stay in the background and you can mainly get your kicks out of healthy interests etc then the drugs shouldn't be a problem. It's a problem when they become your main source of pleasure.

 

[FuckinAcidMan]

I had become psychologically addicted to taking LSD a few years ago. It cleared itself up eventually but it was a repeated pattern of abuse. A lot of people talk about how psychedelics are magically abuse proof but you find the right flavor of person and they'll take to it like most people take to opiates or speed or marijuana. That being said LSD was by far the most fun and least damaging of any addiction I've had overall. In fact I don't think I would be a person I like as much as the person I am today without having done that, so I suppose you could say it was self exploration through the only pattern I knew at the time: Addiction.

 

[Xorkoth]

I've certainly been there. In 2006-2008 I took so many psychedelics, probably 30 different things at least once, as often as every other day or with AMT I actually went harder than that, I'd do it 3 days or more in a row and take a day or 2 off. I was certainly mentally addicted. For me at the time it was multiple factors. One of them was that I was using them to escape in a way, I was dealing with a bad relationship and being unsatisfied with my life circumstances and doing a lot of psychedelics helped me feel connected and euphoric more often.

Besides that, I think, as some others have mentioned, that if you like an experience and you're the type who tends to have an addictive personality, it's going to give you a lot of cravings to repeat that experience. I certainly spend plenty of time thinking about drugs, and these days I use them fairly often too, certainly more than most. I am comfortable with my rate of usage now but it's definitely weekly that I use some sort of drug, currently. I tend to go through stages with it, in the warm months I use them more often than in the cold months. Sometimes I just don't feel like using them for a few weeks or a month. After my intense period of abuse, I took 3 years off (though I was using opiates at the time). I guess I just have a compulsion towards/a fascination with altered states, so I decide to alter my brain pretty often, whether it's weed, or alcohol, or psychedelics, or dissociatives, or sometimes stimulants.

Visiting drug forums certainly increases my fascination with substances, too. It's definitely a trigger. I think it depends on what you're comfortable with. If visiting the forums is making you uncomfortable with how often you're taking psychedelics, then maybe it's best to take a break, it'll be here when and if you decide to come back. For me, I feel like it's part of my balance, Bluelight is important to me and I am comfortable with how often I'm using.

 

[Innerpeace]

Yeah I do believe that being on a forum etc just by keeping your attention on drugs feeds fantasies or cravings.

What do you mean by 'no interest to do anything', are you getting no enjoyment out of things in life? Depression or anhedonia? Or do you get it, but just not at the same level of MDMA (of course the euphoria from that can be quite intense, so it's not really abnormal if pedestrian things in every day life are very rare to be so intense. But if you don't find other normal things worth doing anymore it is obviously problematic.

If drugs stay in the background and you can mainly get your kicks out of healthy interests etc then the drugs shouldn't be a problem. It's a problem when they become your main source of pleasure.

Yes im getting enjoyment out of life. I get down some times, of course, usually going for a walk helps. ive gotten some success mind you, but nothing were im making great money doing what I love. I guess I just get frustrated that I have certain goals and dreams and have failed at them.

*just because youve failed , doesnt mean you re a failure" Dont let anyone confuse the two. many parents do this to their kids at a young age, for example they label the kid as the bad kid, or the smart kid, and we grew up with expectations that our parents gave us, whether good, bad or neutral, and its difficult to overcome, yet neccessary , if we want to accomplish of goals and deepest desires.

as long as youre alive, you can try again, and opportunities to take advantage of. Dont let anyone confuse the two. many parents do this to their kids at a young age, and it effects the kid and the kid gets labeled as a failure, while their sibling gets labeled as the good kid. Now I feel like I just gave a motivational speaking, going to have to ask for 500$$ for that =-)

Thanks for your input everyone

 

[Pirre]

I feel ya, it's a returning fear of mine. I introduced some friends to psychedelics, and worried that I was 'the Bad Influence' and during a particular bad trip I projected a lot so I was terrified that I broke my friends and that they'd end up killing themselves because of me.
But, I've been thinking a lot about a lot of stuff, and concluded that as long as I enjoy regular life as much as I do, that my use can't really be problematic. I think about it a lot, especially when we've got a trip planned, but it is not what keeps me going or my only interest.

 

[Crashing]

It's interesting, my usage of this forum is heavily connected to my drug use. If i'm sober or I'm heavily addicted to opiates or stimulants i wont touch the forums, but typically when i'm messing with psychs I feel more social and connected and talking about drugs can bridge all the gaps between the peaks. But yeah man, we're drug addicts. I'm not concerned about it personally. Haha