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Men

Think you misunderstand me here. I said I'm built like Kate Moss not that I am Kate Moss. Don't want to be compared to that dead piece of space, wtf.
 
I look more like Marilyn Monroe than Kate Moss (though no one looks like MM) and at least she had a powerful spirit.
 
-=SS=- said:
Women are just the same but without the potential dominant physicality aspect. At least with guys usually what you see is what you get.. a douche usually looks like a douche, a creeper usually looks like a creeper.. men aren't fantastic at hiding themselves (except maybe emotionally). Women on the other hand.. wow. I was quite shocked to realize just how manipulative they can be behind the scenes. Plastic smiles with a dagger behind the back.

As a guy how do I deal with women? The same I deal with all people. With a large amount of cynicism and barriers up.
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I'm a man too FWIW, but I actually really disagree that men are more honest then women. A lot of the notions of masculinity (such as physical and/or emotional strength) actually compel men to be dishonest about their feelings, reactions and instinctive responses. We are sort of taught and largely self-perpetuate this myth ourselves. Its bullshit in my view. The idea that men have less of an emotional response to situations is largely fictitious; its just that we believe we should repress those qualities. This also leads to an idea that we are being honest and direct (because we aren't afraid of nothin' so why sugar coat it?- get to the point!- what you see is what you get) when really this honesty just conceals confusion, uncertainty and normal human doubt. The most full-of-shit people I know are the most alpha-male guys who are never unconfident or uncertain but who will always change the subject if you mention that you are feeling less then perfect. Sure, men might say it to your face but what they are saying has less substance then what SHE is saying behind your back. ;)

Ninae said:
Men have a way of enjoying using women though. While (they know) women are usually looking for romance. This has been a problem since the dawn of time.
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That's such a nonsensical dichotomy. Both genders use each other to get what they want. I honestly don't think that the motivations of early humans 100,000 years ago could be reasonably framed using modern concepts such as "romance". I wonder how "romantic" cave-people were. "Hey honey, I love you so much but you have some of my ass-hair caught between your three rotting teeth". "I'm so thrilled we got these 15 years in which to grow old and die slowly/painfully together at age 30".

Forgive the cynicism please :D
 
zyrow said:
You find a moral, ethical man who you really really dig.
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If I may... "moral, ethical" means what to you? I know you're way too smart to believe one who'd boast about being such so what are the giveaways for morality and ethics? For me the first and foremost quality I seek in a woman is respect. Not respect of her for me but the deep gut feeling than I can respect her. Honest communication is the key to mutual respect. I'd rather be insulted by a blunt but truthful remark than flattered by white lies. How can I love someone if I can't count on their word, all the time? And how can she count on me if I don't pay her the same respect? A woman I love knows full well I won't ever call her a despicable slut even in anger because she knows I wouldn't love such a girl. You get the idea.

You're going to come across men who only want sex, and some of these men will be so talented and charming that you will not realize all they want from you is sex and gratification.
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Misguided gentlemen those are. It's not a crime for a man who only wants sex to lay that on the line, much better chances at finding women seeking the same.

These men are dangerous. You will fall to some of them inevitably. It's going to take wisdom and good karma (if you are a beautiful woman, too bad this world is so focused on appearances) to find a worthy man.
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Well there has to be some level of physical chemistry in a couple. But that doesn't mean that appearances are all that matter. I have had truly beautiful girlfriends myself in the past mostly because, I noticed, they were attracted to "rebels" or at least to men who looked the part. I do not consider myself ugly but come on, why would Miss Finger Lakes be attracted to a guy who looks like Rubber Duck in "Convoy" (when I was in college my dress code was rather liberal)? Was it just the Drakar Noir cologne? Nah, it was mostly the need to boast about being with that "guru guy ya know, the hippie". That's where I learned that I couldn't respect these girls and therefore felt nothing for them. My current GF is not a "beautiful woman" but she's not plain either. She's a little overweight but not obese just curvaceous, her age (43) is beginning to show, her breasts are beginning to sag a little... but she has the brightest, sunniest smile I had ever seen prior to meeting her, the most melodious voice, and eyes that are just to die for. And she's as blunt as a bulldog. The slightest think I do or say that she doesn't like she lets me know in no uncertain terms. That's good because then I know the next thing I do or say she will either like (if I agree with her) or dislike (if I'm pissed off, which happens on occasion) our rule is to never go to bed angry at each other which works... almost all of the time.
 
Talking about the most alpha male guys, and they can be great to be with when they love you, had a lot of that as a child. I went to see my uncle and grandmother today and he was in a great mood and cool as fuck and made me and the woman who drove me there laugh all the time. I can't even remember half of the crazy shit he said.

But when he came rolling in in his electric wheel chair my grandmother asked where he had been today and he said "Ask the police" (probably a catchphrase from his youth). Then later I told him he might have to look after my cat if something happened to me (he's done before when I was in rehab) and he said "He's the boss, but I'm his boss" (he scares away all the other cats he feeds). So I said "Well, he can't might as well be the boss of you". And he said "That man still hasn't been born". 8o

I seriously think he's still both manic and an ego-maniac. Even in this state, he's so high on life and his own sense of self-worth. If anyone never needed to become an alcoholic, what a waste.
 
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willow11 said:
That's such a nonsensical dichotomy. Both genders use each other to get what they want. I honestly don't think that the motivations of early humans 100,000 years ago could be reasonably framed using modern concepts such as "romance". I wonder how "romantic" cave-people were. "Hey honey, I love you so much but you have some of my ass-hair caught between your three rotting teeth". "I'm so thrilled we got these 15 years in which to grow old and die slowly/painfully together at age 30".
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You kick downwards.

I'm a bit cooler because I have the guts to challenge my superiors. ;)

By the way, what kind of girly name is Willow? I was thinking I was talking to a girl here.
 
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^Challenging pre-conceptions plus this was my girlfriends account for its first week of life :)
 
There's one anomaly in my family, or one male who's not like everyone else.

That's my uncle's first-born son who's always got on my nerves since I was forced to always play with him as a child.

Granted, he's probably one of the Top 3 most beautiful men in my hometown, he could pass for the son of Archangel Michael made incarnate.

This is something he got from his mother who's indescribably beautiful (those eyes). But he inherited NOTHING from my uncle, neither in looks or personality. He just stands there looking pretty and waits for women to swarm around him, as this has always worked for him, but this is the feminine way of attracting the opposite sex.

And he's so stupid the only thing he can talk about is English football. The less I see of him, the better (and even I visit my uncle more than he does).
 
Every negative or positive trait under the sun, both sexes will display.

We have stereotypical views of gender, but in my opinion, most of them are only there because people won't talk about the opposite gender in the same context.

Men are aggressive.
Women are manipulative.
Men are straight forward.
Women are complicated.
etc... etc... etc...

An both sexes will display such characteristics, but based on personal experiences we just further these stereotypes which lead to furthering them.

The only real difference is, women rape less.

So really in essence, just be a good judge of character. Find what traits they hold and see if they're compatible to you. If someone is aggressive and has a lack of self control, you can probably judge later in the relationship they might abuse you. If someone lies, you can usually tell it will become a recurring thing.

An really, ignore all feelings of lust for a greater picture.

For me, yeah, I may want to carry on being with a woman, having sex with them, but If I see traits in them that later on I think would really lead to problems, I get out of there.
 
This subject is still a bit traumatic for me, sometimes I prefer not to think about it.

But I feel a bit more relaxed about it now than before. I realise I've just got to accept that not all men in the world are ideal for me or able to give me what I need. But there are always some who are, and I just need to focus on those more, instead of worrying so much about the others.

I'm good at connecting with guys and winning hearts, even ones who are completely not what I need, so that can be a problem. Sometimes those can be irresistably attractive too. Opposites attract, etc.

The last one I loved was very different from me but we just connected and couldn't resist each other and made a kind of compromise because we really loved each other. Crazy fucking relationship. I don't know who was worst - him or me.

A clairvoyant I talked to said we had been together in many lifetimes but weren't supposed to connect in this life. He was a bad influence, and responsible for much of my corruption and craziness. I'm so weak I let men corrupt me (this needs to stop).
 
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Some guys just want to use you for sex, a female of the oposite sex for the night and deposit your sperm, you leave the next morning before she wakes up.

If u want to see her again leave a present so when she wakes up she will either see if she was used the night before as a sperm bank or love.

I used to do it all the time, would cum in her vagina, and she would know it because she would get off, and beg me to cum inside her. So when she calls me like a month later and tells me that shes got one in the oven i'm like whattf?bitch u the one that wanted me to cum in your belly. Listen, we will go and get the little shit cut out from my girl.
 
D's said:
Some guys just want to use you for sex, a female of the oposite sex for the night and deposit your sperm, you leave the next morning before she wakes up.

If u want to see her again leave a present so when she wakes up she will either see if she was used the night before as a sperm bank or love.

I used to do it all the time, would cum in her vagina, and she would know it because she would get off, and beg me to cum inside her. So when she calls me like a month later and tells me that shes got one in the oven i'm like whattf?bitch u the one that wanted me to cum in your belly. Listen, we will go and get the little shit cut out from my girl.
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Why not just use condoms, or other forms of birth control?

Doing a woman raw/BB probably feels better but is it worth possibly getting an STD including HIV as a lot of people are HIV+, or having to pay for an abortion?

Have you ever had a woman who you both had condomless sex with who got pregnant who said she did not want an abortion and wanted to keep your/her kid?
 
Ninae said:
Men have a way of enjoying using women though. While (they know) women are usually looking for romance. This has been a problem since the dawn of time.
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Its not a problem, if you understand the dynamics of why that is and accept them. Men are instinctively the aggressors/procreate. Men are visual, this is our number 1 driving factor. We see what we like, we want it, and want to have sex :) If we like the physical then we want to get to know you.
Women on the other hand, have different priorities, they want to know, is he a good guy, will he take care of me, protect me, provide, will he make a good father, is he friendly, have a sense of humor? THEN is he good looking :)
The problem lies in that window of guys want sex on the first date and the woman wants to know about the guy first over a few dates.
Hence we have different priorities. If the guy knows this and chills out for a date or 2 and give the girl time to like him, he'll get what he wants :) BUT, the women need to meet the guy half way, you make him wait to long for the sex, he'll lose interested and move on.
3 dates, you at least need to have sparks flying at the third date.
I call this the 70/30 rule :) men its looks(what he finds attactive) 70% the rest of the stuff 30%..... women, all the other stuff is 70% looks 30%
 
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