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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

What I've noticed while lurking this thread occasionally is that people with LTC generally have it for a pretty long time, it's kind of like an integral part of it. You don't really read from some one who gets all the bad symptoms for a month or two and then everything back to normal? So I'm trying to understand the logic, what is it that makes people "cross that line", do they accumulate enough crap (impurities?) in their brain until it crosses the line and causes a neurological chain reaction? Or something more to do with random chance, or something to do with people who have a certain predisposal for such condition? Because I'm pretty sure there are people who have been eating the dutch pills like candy with no LTC like effects.
"Bad/contaminated batch" is one possibility, but usually these LTC posts come with a disclaimer of "my 5 friends who used from the same batch are all perfectly fine".
 
Dany657 said:
@ZeroLuck Unfortunately I'm not aware of somewhere this could be sent that would do anymore than tell you it's mdma like ecstasydata. There are most likely laws in place regarding what it can be analyzed for.. still I'd look around.

@Needhelp123 Mercury would require recent exposure for it to be detectable in a blood test, I really don't know if that's doable with acrylamide. While this may have been poisoning in the beginning, I see LTC more as neurotoxicity so the main focus is more on boosting bdnf & combating adrenal fatigue especially by boosting hormones than detoxing. Now don't get me wrong, detoxing is a component of healing just not the main task for it.
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how do we boost BDNF?
 
It is almost definitely a predisposition/ anxiety related phenomenon. I have been through 2 LTC, one in the early 2000s and again about two years ago. I had forgotten how bad it was tbh and decided to give MDMA another shot.

The first time lasted around 8 months and then I felt recovered with no lasting cognitive/ depersonalization when I had reached the point of recovery. The 2nd time an SSRI pulled me out of it after about 6 Months. I have taken many drugs since but will never touch a serotonin releasing agent again in my life.

I am sure what I went through was a depersonalization disorder triggered by the after effects of MDMA use. It becomes your life, focusing on what you have done to your brain, and thinking about how you wish you could go back. Both times I fully recovered after I moved on from thinking like this, when I started interacting/ going out with friends again and living my life. I have no lasting problems and have consumed many other drugs without any lasting effects.

You haven't screwed up your brain. It's likely that you have a predisposition to an anxiety disorder that the serotonin depletion took a real toll on triggering the deporsonalisation... but as most have found, it will eventually come to an end and you'll be your old self again. You'll roll back to your old self and will likely even take drugs again. Just stay the hell away from MDMA and other SRA. They don't agree with you.

I know how unlikely this all seems given how strong the LTC is, it has to be brain damage right? I felt exactly the same way both time, but both times returned to my normal self given time. I had every symptom listed.

Notice how the faces you see on these threads change continually over time, with most being in the mist of a fresh full blown LTC. People recover, move on and forget about it. If you find a lack of success stories, it's not that people haven't got better, it's that they have moved on. I'm only here posting as I stumbled across this forum searching for something else, but I vaguely remember wheen reading threads like this trying to work out what I had done to myself was my life.

It was worse in the early 2000s, there was nothing like this thread where you could see other people had experienced this and you wheren't alone, and most had recovered. Happy recovery guys.

Both times I had MDMA. It was tested by myself with 4 different reagents. It was MDMA, and MDMA can and does trigger underlying anxiety disorders without a doubt.
 
You said an SSRI helped you the second time? Did you have head/neck pressure, muscle twitching, ringing in the ears, sleep issues, sexual dysfunction? Any other physical symptoms?
 
alright, so if it's anxiety... one pill of xanax should wash away all my symptoms?
 
rorymullan said:
It is almost definitely a predisposition/ anxiety related phenomenon. I have been through 2 LTC, one in the early 2000s and again about two years ago. I had forgotten how bad it was tbh and decided to give MDMA another shot.

The first time lasted around 8 months and then I felt recovered with no lasting cognitive/ depersonalization when I had reached the point of recovery. The 2nd time an SSRI pulled me out of it after about 6 Months. I have taken many drugs since but will never touch a serotonin releasing agent again in my life.

I am sure what I went through was a depersonalization disorder triggered by the after effects of MDMA use. It becomes your life, focusing on what you have done to your brain, and thinking about how you wish you could go back. Both times I fully recovered after I moved on from thinking like this, when I started interacting/ going out with friends again and living my life. I have no lasting problems and have consumed many other drugs without any lasting effects.

You haven't screwed up your brain. It's likely that you have a predisposition to an anxiety disorder that the serotonin depletion took a real toll on triggering the deporsonalisation... but as most have found, it will eventually come to an end and you'll be your old self again. You'll roll back to your old self and will likely even take drugs again. Just stay the hell away from MDMA and other SRA. They don't agree with you.

I know how unlikely this all seems given how strong the LTC is, it has to be brain damage right? I felt exactly the same way both time, but both times returned to my normal self given time. I had every symptom listed.

Notice how the faces you see on these threads change continually over time, with most being in the mist of a fresh full blown LTC. People recover, move on and forget about it. If you find a lack of success stories, it's not that people haven't got better, it's that they have moved on. I'm only here posting as I stumbled across this forum searching for something else, but I vaguely remember wheen reading threads like this trying to work out what I had done to myself was my life.

It was worse in the early 2000s, there was nothing like this thread where you could see other people had experienced this and you wheren't alone, and most had recovered. Happy recovery guys.

Both times I had MDMA. It was tested by myself with 4 different reagents. It was MDMA, and MDMA can and does trigger underlying anxiety disorders without a doubt.
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thanks for coming back man! Did you have any physical symptoms? Head pressure, dizziness, musscle twitches, brain zaps etc? My visual processing seems pretty messed up. Everything seems slow to process, even faves can be hard to interpret. Maybe it’s some weird form of HPPD, but I don’t have the usual symptoms of HPPD (minus that sometimes objects will Shaked)

anyways thanks in advance for reading
 
Danny, wanted to ask you what symptoms are left from your ltc? You seem pretty recovered for me. Also after being pro-supplement, did you manage to filter useful and useless supplements for ltc?
 
anon1644 said:
You said an SSRI helped you the second time? Did you have head/neck pressure, muscle twitching, ringing in the ears, sleep issues, sexual dysfunction? Any other physical symptoms?
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I had all those symptoms as well as a tingling sensation above my left eyebrow and behind my left knee. If I really focus I can still feel the tingling sensation on my knee. I believe it was there before and after the LTC, the LTCC just made me focus and obsess with anything that I felt.
 
Hey man. Thank you for this post. It has reassured me to no end.

Guys, please please please try CBD oil. I tried it today and 90% of my symptoms disappeared within 4 hours.

If you are in the U.K. provacan.co.uk is where I got mine. Apparently it?s the best blend in the U.K. and very trustworthy.

FYI symptoms included depersonalisation, anxiety, paranoia, brain fog and slight visual disturbances. All went away but I was still slightly anxious.
 
ZeroLuck said:
alright, so if it's anxiety... one pill of xanax should wash away all my symptoms?
Click to expand...

Xanax does not cure anxiety, it relieves it. People with Deporsonalisation disorders, which are anxiety disorders do not get cured by taking a pill of xanax.

I know it's hard to believe that anxiety can cause something so overwhelmingly strong with so many symptoms, but it can. People develop DPD for all kinds of reasons. I'm just letting you know my experience, it was overwhellmingly storng and horrible, I felt just like you guys that in no way could this not be permenant damage that I had inflicted on my brain. It wasn't, I got better and returned to my normal self. I've had good relationships and no lasting sexual dysfuntion once I recovered.

Just trying to offer some hope and letting people know what I think caused me to feel the way I felt.

I wish you all well, some of the hardest days of my life.
 
Needhelp123 said:
thanks for coming back man! Did you have any physical symptoms? Head pressure, dizziness, musscle twitches, brain zaps etc? My visual processing seems pretty messed up. Everything seems slow to process, even faves can be hard to interpret. Maybe it’s some weird form of HPPD, but I don’t have the usual symptoms of HPPD (minus that sometimes objects will Shaked)

anyways thanks in advance for reading
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I had all symptomss you list. At night I had halos around all lights, visual snow, and everything on the horizon seemed to blur into a fuzz. Cognitively I felt awful, but I don't think it showed outwardly to people I was around. As bad as I felt it was internal, I don't think others really noticed.

This is memory of my second LTC, I find it very hard to recall the first as it was so long ago. I held onto the fact that I had been through it before, and had recovered before and that kept me going.

Also as others have stated, exercise. I cycled around 15 miles a day in the height of the LTC, it was extremely hard to do, but it definitely helped my sleep and recovery.

Weirdly for the 2nd LTC my symptoms where always worse in the morning and I had small relief in the night time (Symptoms still there, I just felt more relaxed). I'm glad tbh that I had never taken a benzzo at the time. I'd hate to think what I would have done if I had turned to benzos instead of exercise and working through it. Though tbh the idea of any drugs at the time made me feel ill.
 
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Also some people have not had success with SSRI's, but I did. It took around 12 weeks to have any noticeable effect, then I slowly improved. I have no idea if I had any bad side effects coming on the sertraline because the KTC was so bad I wouldn't have noticed anyway. My GP told me to keep at them, so I did, and eventually, they helped with my recovery.
 
Thanks so much man this is great to hear. I try and exercise and eat healthy as much as possible, but I need to do it more. Thanks again.
 
@Needhelp123

Through exercise, saunas, and eating one meal a day seem to be the most effective ways.

@Zeroluck every one of my symptoms still exists & has improved tremendously since day 1. I'd say I'm 70% better overall. If you recall my LTC causing dose was 1.75g throughout 5 five hours so it's understandable why my acrylamide/mercury poisoning situation would likely be one of the worst when assuming every pill contained one of these impurities from PMK-glycidate. I don't know if you've ever read BL user First Bad Comedown 's posts, he did LOADS of research on LTC's and was considered to be very knowledgable regarding the topic. I forget the reasoning he gave for this but he said for those of us with a tight feeling in our heart & gut we'd take a VERY long time to recover. Though I didn't have the problem he did where he couldn't keep solid food down for several weeks, any more than a small/moderate amount of protein at first made my stomach feel as if it would burst. I didn't realize how dangerous this was until I read his posts months after discovering this site, fortunately it didn't cause fatal complications or symptoms that were likely to never go away like for him. As you know I believe I'm going to make a full recovery, just gotta keep waiting it out while pushing forward with my healthy lifestyle

I've gotten off many supplements yet have continued on others so can't answer that with certainty. Most if not all of the ones I recommended to people in the past as the best simple stack I'm still taking.

@rorymullan I'm glad you've been able to fully recover from acrylamide/mercury neurotoxicity! I do wonder though.. surely you haven't abstained from every serotonin releasing agent. This would imply that you've avoided just about all drugs except for benzos as well as abstained from alcohol, caffeine, & sugar.

I'd also be very careful about recommending SSRI's even though they've been of help for you. There are at least several users on this site whose LTC has been made much worse due to chronic ssri use in LTC since their serotonin system is that damaged and delicate for the time being. This should definitely be a last resort after exercise, keto, & OMAD prove unhelpful(which I've yet to see them do in anyone whose given them a go.)
 
Drugs really should be legalized. Then people will pharmacy grade products and not worry about being poisoned.

@Dany could you please post your sysmtoms again.
 
My symptoms are dr, cognitive fog, head pressure, the occasional typically mild dizziness, paresthesia(in the form of nerve pain or irritation), my fingers and feet experience tingling by holding them in a raised position that when sustained radiates upward and causes pain, floaters, tightness in my heart and gut, aches and soreness. Again, all of these symptoms have improved.
 
I don't have physical symptoms right, but funnily I've experienced the head pressure and the heart tightness and pain year and something after my LTC. Didn't last more than a month. Let's hope you guys get relief from those symptoms too! Something I remembered is that back in the time found a lot of people with identical symptoms like ours, but from psychedelics so maybe not all cases are mercury poisoning.
 
Does anyone else blackout when they drink heavy? I used to handle myself better than this and partially remember the night. But now I dont even know anymore...

I know I shouldnt drink at all during recovery but it's one of the only things to distract me from my symptoms. But overall it's not a health approach. What the hell did I do to myself :/
 
shouldvestayedhome said:
Does anyone else blackout when they drink heavy? I used to handle myself better than this and partially remember the night. But now I dont even know anymore...

I know I shouldnt drink at all during recovery but it's one of the only things to distract me from my symptoms. But overall it's not a health approach. What the hell did I do to myself :/
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how long has it been for you? Have you been drinking the whole time? Alcohol doesn’t even feel good for me any more
 
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