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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

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What I also like is listening to modern classical music (especially soundtracks, I love them!) before going to sleep or just to relax during the day. Close your eyes, get into a comfortable position and let your imagination flow. That instantaneous makes me feel better and more relaxed.
 
mf140 said:
I'm so pleased for you dude :)

@ fnonno: If it helps, I am on sertraline too. Started at 25mg (1 week) and now on 50mg (2 weeks). Like you I was shit scared of taking them as I'd had bad reactions to 5htp, ibuprofen, coffee, you name it I was sensitive to it. I have also had exactly the same depresssive symptoms as Amml. I was functioning, just, but beyond that there was nothing.

The real positive feelings of life have yet to come back fully for me, but I am playing on my decks again, going out with friends, I'm even going on a date tonight. I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel!

Starting the sertraline and moving up dose I had some mild side effects: increased anxiety, muscle tension, slight blurred vision. But nothing that was unbearable. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain and as my psychiatrist said to me, "Max,you can either spend the next months, year or however long this takes feeling like this or you can take medication which will help you. If you had diabetes, you would inject yourself with insulin everyday and wouldn't think twice about it. So what is different about your brain?"
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In my case Sertraline started somewhat working when i upped my dose too 100mg, seems like this med is very weak. Interesting thing is that, i assume, due to its low dopamine re uptake inhibition higher dosages in my case actually improve libido.
Also there is a myth going on that SSRIS lower your testosterone; well, i am a weightlifter/bodybuilder and i am the strongest and biggest i have ever been on this med.
 
Mikek11 said:
In my case Sertraline started somewhat working when i upped my dose too 100mg, seems like this med is very weak. Interesting thing is that, i assume, due to its low dopamine re uptake inhibition higher dosages in my case actually improve libido.
Also there is a myth going on that SSRIS lower your testosterone; well, i am a weightlifter/bodybuilder and i am the strongest and biggest i have ever been on this med.
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In my case it worked at 25mg, but I'm very lean (52kg), maybe that's the reason why you need such high doses
 
I have had some major setbacks from weed. Hash is even worse. Coffee is completely out of the question, in fact anything containing caffeine will make me hit a wobbly .I find that even high doses of fish oil or vitamin B6 or D send me into orbit. I have become really sensitive to all sorts of supplements and cannot take a full dose of my prescribed thyroid medication. I find the safest things to take are Magnesium supplements and Enerphos when my adrenalin is going beserk. I also feel like my emotions are a bit deadened. I just kind of dont feel as "alive" as I once was. I am not depressed as such and the anxiety comes and goes but is much less nowdays. I did most of the damage from taking way too much MDMA in the nineties and have never fully recovered. When I have dabbled on occasions its been hit and miss but I am now no longer prepared to chance it at all. Its a difficult decision to make but I believe I have irreparable brain damage from canning it just too hectically for too long.
 
Yeah I think it depends on how you're LTC started.... If you rolled and felt good then just started to feel sad or "off", without any physical symptoms I'd say your chances of recovery are real good. If you OD'd..... Well there's a chance you'll never get better unfortunately.... Although healthy living and healthy thinking will help anyone in any condition.

Yeah fish oil makes me feel a bit funny too. I believe Scared First Timer said many supplements and vitamins made him feel weird as well, and he only ended up taking D regularly.

I'm also convinced that taking so many supplements and fish oil and especially curcumin during the beginning of my LTC didn't help.... Judging by the reaction I had a couple months later from it. The human body wasn't meant to be bombarded with high doses of vitamins and random supplements..... Find out what you're deficient in and go from there.

The only thing I might start taking again is magnesium and B and D every other day since a lot of people are slightly deficient in these.
 
happygirl29 said:
I have had some major setbacks from weed. Hash is even worse. Coffee is completely out of the question, in fact anything containing caffeine will make me hit a wobbly .I find that even high doses of fish oil or vitamin B6 or D send me into orbit. I have become really sensitive to all sorts of supplements and cannot take a full dose of my prescribed thyroid medication. I find the safest things to take are Magnesium supplements and Enerphos when my adrenalin is going beserk. I also feel like my emotions are a bit deadened. I just kind of dont feel as "alive" as I once was. I am not depressed as such and the anxiety comes and goes but is much less nowdays. I did most of the damage from taking way too much MDMA in the nineties and have never fully recovered. When I have dabbled on occasions its been hit and miss but I am now no longer prepared to chance it at all. Its a difficult decision to make but I believe I have irreparable brain damage from canning it just too hectically for too long.
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I looked up Enerphos and its Phosphatidyl Serine which supposedly lowers cortisol. Isn't this a really potent supplement where tons of care should be exercised? I'm saying this because a lot of people have had bad reactions to supplements recently and I'm cautious just because what if you already have low cortisol then couldn't this make you feel worse and crash potentially vs if you were high in cortisol?

I really do agree with everybody given the recent setbacks people have had on things like 5-HTP, Kava, or whatever else that supplements aren't necessarily always "safe" just because they are supposedly "natural". I didn't react well to 5-HTP either but at least my bad reaction wasn't as severe and I didn't touch it again after that.
 
MDMA Side Effects

Hi All,

This is my first post as I need some advice. Basically me and my mate had taken pills and experimented with different ones gold bars, silver bars, transformers, etc (a few more but cba naming them all). We experimented with all of these inside probably a 8,9,10 month period. After each one we'd give ourself a range of breaks from one week without taking them to a month after each one. Buying all of them off the same trusted dealer.

We stopped doing them for about a month to two months because they're bad for you when you don't moderate taking them obviously and we started doing other stuff (only weed and alcohol nothing more serious) instead but then in around October time we took these gold bars from a different guy who we'd never bought pills off before (bought some weed once off him which was pretty good) and we've never felt the same after taking these gold bars I took one my mate took about 4 of these gold bars off this new dealer.

I've had sort of like brain fog and shaking a bit for the past two months might be due to cold weather (which actually seems like it's getting better everyday) and he's had brain fog and memory issues. Do you think it was just a bad batch of pills or do you think our brains have had too much of whatever was in the pills. Been to the doctors to have a blood test and ECG but these both came back fine with no problems.

I take rhodiela rosea and have been for about 2 weeks. Will we ever feel the same again? I've been clean from weed for about a month (I did smoke it after taking this pill) and haven't drunk in over a month and from this experience I will never do anything again, no weed no pills maybe a drink every now and then but nothing else. Is it just a matter of waiting? These gold bars were stamped 199.9 mg. Is this just withdrawal symptoms and when would you stop waiting and go to the doctors and say you don't feel right generally?

Thanks,
Red
 
I would try to relax and give it a couple more months, try to get some cardio in and try mindfulness meditation. If you're still not feeling better then or if you would like to now you could certainly go to a doctor again, a psychiatrist or neurologist would probably be your best bet.

Do you have visual symptoms like talked about here? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucinogen_persisting_perception_disorder

How is your sleep doing?

Hang in there. People have these sorts of issues and recover all the time, it just doesn't happen overnight unfortunately so the "is this permanent?" thoughts start to bounce around pretty quickly - I'd try to watch out for rumination and being lost in thought if that's an issue with you. There are some guided mindfulness meditations on youtube that I would definitely try if you find yourself over-thinking a lot, with that voice in your head constantly chattering.
 
My sleep is normal actually rarely any nights where I cannot get to sleep and nope nothing wrong with my visuals or anything like that just the lost sense with reality like I never fully wake up. Is the feeling that I'm getting better real am I actually getting better? Obviously there's good days and bad days but ever good day starts to feel more and more normal than the last one.
 
That's really great that your sleep is okay and you don't have any visuals, I'm guessing its just gonna take a few more months.

What you're describing sounds like derealization, where things can feel kind of like a dream, or that you're just watching TV (like life is a movie). Its pretty common with anxiety/issues after ecstasy and just takes a little time. Some mindfulness and cardio may speed things along. Your outlook for a (relatively) speedy recovery is pretty good.

Stay sober (especially from weed) and don't mess with supplements too much, a well rounded diet and maybe a multi-vitamin would be good but everything from coffee to 5-HTP I would avoid for a while. Any questions are welcome, I hope you and your friend feel better soon. Cardio and mindfulness can really make a difference.
 
Well I got brain zaps from taking 300g of mdma 3 times in 6 weeks, thought I would be ok and ignored the voice in my head saying this might be a bad idea. Had 2 years of steady monthly use, no issues.

Took about a week for the zaps to go away and I was fine. The hangovers were worse when I later started again, and no more eye wiggles. All mdma from same batch... haven't done any in almost a year.
 
Consider yourself lucky you only got them for a week!

I dunno guys....I've been basically at the same point since the end middle of October ..... Tinnitus, floaters, tingling on left face, hyperacusis, sleep issues, "tight chest"......If I was seeing slight recovery month to month I'd be more optimistic.....But I'm basically just wallowing in the same spot.... Anyone else ever feel this way?
 
Hi socrilus its phospherated serine which is slightly different to phsophatidyl serine . I personally have had some terrible reactions to certain meds and supplements but find this one helps me when I am all wired and shaky at night . 5HTP is an absolute no-no . It makes me feel dizzy nauseous and completely out of control . Im afraid its all trial and error . I also found that sceletium (kanna) in small 100mg doses helped to calm me when I was at my worst.
 
happygirl29 said:
Hi socrilus its phospherated serine which is slightly different to phsophatidyl serine . I personally have had some terrible reactions to certain meds and supplements but find this one helps me when I am all wired and shaky at night . 5HTP is an absolute no-no . It makes me feel dizzy nauseous and completely out of control . Im afraid its all trial and error . I also found that sceletium (kanna) in small 100mg doses helped to calm me when I was at my worst.
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Kanna is a SSRI. Have you tried one already?
 
ADubbs said:
I dunno guys....I've been basically at the same point since the end middle of October ..... Tinnitus, floaters, tingling on left face, hyperacusis, sleep issues, "tight chest"......If I was seeing slight recovery month to month I'd be more optimistic.....But I'm basically just wallowing in the same spot.... Anyone else ever feel this way?
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The ruts can be real sometimes... I would think about something to try to break you out of the spell, everything from seeing a psychologist to talking to a doc about a medication (doesn't have to be an SSRI). Often times sleep issues can perpetuate mental issues and mental issues can perpetuate sleep issues.

When stuff like anxiety and insomnia are long standing you can also run into physical health issues at some point that can need addressing, issues with some of the inhalation muscles (neck muscles like scalenes that can cause face/head symptoms and chest muscles like pec minor and that can cause chest pain) are common with chronic anxiety/panic breathing/chest breathing. Massage and stretching muscles like scalenes can really help some, in addition to learning how to breathe through the stomach.
 
I once read that higher aggressivity and impulsivity is very common in former MDMA users, and since my depression got better I noticed that I get aggressive much more faster, I definetly didn't get as aggressive so fast before the MDMA use. I can control it and don't have aggression breakouts, but when something small gets on my nerves I feel super aggressive instantaneously just like something really bad happened, which annoys me pretty much. Is that because of the longer despressive episode and a sign of surpressed emotions that come out again or something permanent/longer lasting because of the effects of MDMA?
I mean my cognitive symptoms already got much better, why not those?
I mean somehow the impulsivity has some good sites, like I can talk to people and friends more open because I'm not that introverted anymore, but I really miss this feeling of being really relaxed and just finding peace.
 
It could be that different circuitry is normalizing faster, and also that as some circuitry normalizes, it might throw off some other circuitry that's been compensated for that non-normal circuitry. Essentially homeostasis is being reached in phases and irritation may be a phase.

I think it's really important to catch yourself when you're thinking a lot and getting irritated, snubbing stuff like OCD before it really gets going is important. A lot of the OCD type disorders are known to develop with chronic stress so that could certainly be playing a role, essentially that you have primary xyz and secondary OCD as a result.
 
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