badrobot114
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2013
- Messages
- 266
Hi all,
I've been reluctant to speak up until now, but I think it's time for me to admit my use of MDMA has definitely facilitated some changes in me the past year i've been doing it.
I was introduced to MDMA by a friend of mine who would source the purest crystals and from the first time I tried them I had no doubt they are indeed the real thing. The feelings of compassion, clear thought, undeniable urge to dance and connect with the music on a deeper level and potential for beneficial self-reflection of myself and my relationships with the people closest to me were everything i'd heard and more.
As the year went along, I found myself improving as a person, I would spend time every roll to reflect upon my life and gauge it's progress, which proved beneficial to my development as a person and intensely therapeutic. I had times where I thought MDMA was a catalyst for anxiety in me, but upon being honest with myself it was those aspects of my life that would arise during a roll and ignored for most of my life that would come back and haunt me. Without the empathy I felt during the period of effects, it was harder to look those at issues and not feel anxious and ashamed. Finally I had learned to accept things and leave them in the past, and at the same time make the necessary changes in myself so that I become a better person in my eyes and in the eyes of those around me.
I am a better son and more compassionate towards my parents, my general outlook on life is much more bright and a find myself smiling at random times during the day for no apparent reason but an inner sense of peace and well being. Walking down the street with some banging psytrance playing I would find myself starting subtly to move my body and feel "free" and content, I am more in tune with people's emotions and can understand and read personalities better. I sometimes look at nature and contemplate how wonderful it is, and how complex and intriguing life's machinations are, as naturally as I would during a roll(albeit, of course, not at the same intensity). My relationship with my partner has infinitely improved due to our shared MDMA experiences. I find I am much more humble and respectful to my fellow humans. The release from sub - conscience anxiety and self doubt has cleared my thought patterns and I find I can concentrate on my studies much more efficiently and am just generally more clear headed. I used to be atrocious with money, spending foolishly and not saving - MDMA has allowed me to admit that to myself and get "my shit together" so to speak. I feel I am on the high road, and am more confident in my ability to achieve my goals in life.
I got the message and after my upcoming roll in a month and a half(about 2 and a half after my last one) I shall hang up the phone for the time being. No doubt though, I will revisit this old friend in the future - this is no the end of MDMA for me.
I guess my bottom line is this - thanks MDMA, you were a catalyst for a great and positive change in me and I am humbled by the experiences you have given me.
I've been reluctant to speak up until now, but I think it's time for me to admit my use of MDMA has definitely facilitated some changes in me the past year i've been doing it.
I was introduced to MDMA by a friend of mine who would source the purest crystals and from the first time I tried them I had no doubt they are indeed the real thing. The feelings of compassion, clear thought, undeniable urge to dance and connect with the music on a deeper level and potential for beneficial self-reflection of myself and my relationships with the people closest to me were everything i'd heard and more.
As the year went along, I found myself improving as a person, I would spend time every roll to reflect upon my life and gauge it's progress, which proved beneficial to my development as a person and intensely therapeutic. I had times where I thought MDMA was a catalyst for anxiety in me, but upon being honest with myself it was those aspects of my life that would arise during a roll and ignored for most of my life that would come back and haunt me. Without the empathy I felt during the period of effects, it was harder to look those at issues and not feel anxious and ashamed. Finally I had learned to accept things and leave them in the past, and at the same time make the necessary changes in myself so that I become a better person in my eyes and in the eyes of those around me.
I am a better son and more compassionate towards my parents, my general outlook on life is much more bright and a find myself smiling at random times during the day for no apparent reason but an inner sense of peace and well being. Walking down the street with some banging psytrance playing I would find myself starting subtly to move my body and feel "free" and content, I am more in tune with people's emotions and can understand and read personalities better. I sometimes look at nature and contemplate how wonderful it is, and how complex and intriguing life's machinations are, as naturally as I would during a roll(albeit, of course, not at the same intensity). My relationship with my partner has infinitely improved due to our shared MDMA experiences. I find I am much more humble and respectful to my fellow humans. The release from sub - conscience anxiety and self doubt has cleared my thought patterns and I find I can concentrate on my studies much more efficiently and am just generally more clear headed. I used to be atrocious with money, spending foolishly and not saving - MDMA has allowed me to admit that to myself and get "my shit together" so to speak. I feel I am on the high road, and am more confident in my ability to achieve my goals in life.
I got the message and after my upcoming roll in a month and a half(about 2 and a half after my last one) I shall hang up the phone for the time being. No doubt though, I will revisit this old friend in the future - this is no the end of MDMA for me.
I guess my bottom line is this - thanks MDMA, you were a catalyst for a great and positive change in me and I am humbled by the experiences you have given me.
