barrano247
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2013
- Messages
- 11
Ok, so heres the story. I bought 200mg of crystal MDMA (they called it molly, i hate callin it that cuz it makes me feel like im only doing it because its popular) so i could try candyflipping. I never had tried MDMA to this point (theres a chance i had before because when i was dumb i took this white powder that some dude told me was some form of shrooms, an it gave me mdma like effects), so i did roughly 100mg to try it, since im not dumb enough to take acid with something ive never tried before. Note that i didnt hang out with friends or anything doing it, because i dont have friends who are really into drugs and im not into the rave/club scene. So anyway, i bombed 100 mg in receipt paper, and went to the mall (i know its a horrible idea since i lost my wallet there). In about 20 minutes from ingestion, i felt it. I was walking around the mall in a giddy stupor, i went to gamestop and bought two games, went and bought a shitload of candy, and walked around for about an hour like a bafoon, but i didnt care because i felt great. I dipped out the mall when i accidentally broke a candle in a store (luckly the lady working there was nice enough not to charge me for it). I got back home safely, this was about an hour and a half after dropping it. I noticed the music in the car actually sounded a lot worse and more two dimensional than normal, so i didnt really enjoy it. When i got home, i went right to my room an started playing halo, and after one game it clearly wasnt doing it. I noticed i felt more speedy than warm and empathetic, and i wasnt really enjoying myself, i didnt feel cramped or bored, i really just didnt feel like doing anything. As a matter of fact, i felt like doing nothing the whole time, even in the mall i got tired and wanted to sit down. I didnt even have music on, the best part was staring into space with no music or tv on. So i tried playing this game i bought called child of eden, since it was colorful and fun. I liked the game, but i noticed i was pretty critical of things instead of openminded, and music wasnt really doing it for me. So i decided to smoke a little weed, just a bit, and the weed took over completely. This was about 2 and a half hours in, and at this point i was battling anxiety, mixed with the speedy feeling. Underneath it all i could feel a decent warm euphoria, but i could tell it still wasnt too strong. As a matter of fact, it reminded me of some of my weak DXM highs, which usually gave me extreme euphoria and love of everything, but sometimes made me feel wired but a little dysphoric and critical, like with this high. After an hour of paranoia (i did some chores, and tried killing this spider that scared me shitless), the weed subsided a bit and i started chilling and just listening to music. It slowly started to come back now (for the last 2 hours i hadnt felt high at all really), and suddenly, about 4 hours in, i felt amazing. It wasnt strong euphoria, but i felt like my senses came to life, i was trippin pretty hard looking at the itunes visualizer and vibin to music. I also closed all the blinds and turned on the colored christmas lights in my room, and also used headphones instead of speakers, which helped a ton. The only worry i had was that my dad would come home and wonder why my room looked like a stoners paradise, with colorful christmas lights everywhere and the visualizer on. It turned out i was right, after about an hour and a half of good times (it subsided a bit after an hour or so), my dad did come and he talked about me getting a job and stuff, a real buzz kill. After that it was pretty much over, and i still was completely tired, so i tried sleeping at around 8:30. I was clearly in a haze, and i really felt disinterested in everything (the dreaded comedown).
So i woke up this morning (the next day), feeling just as disinterested as before. Mind you, ive had issues with depression (now im diagnosed bipolar), and even now in the afternoon i feel the same as this morning, a little better. I felt like i actually often do, fatigued, disinterested, going through the motions, lucky i had no obligations today, i hung out with a friend for about 6 hours and it was cool, i wasnt REALLY depressed but to me after being "depressed" for about 2 years straight, it was nothing to me (yea im a champ). One thing thats been bugging me though, is that since ive woken up, ive been wayyyy out of my mind. I do suffer from a shitload of mental issues, including HPPD, some weird somatosensory disorder that involves demon attacks, derealization, personality disorders, etc. But today was something new, i felt completely dissociated, probably the most ive felt for a whole day, my perception is really weird (i cant explain it really, but my eyes are in super focus mode, except everything is blurry, my vision randomly starts shimmering, im still getting tracers, and things are morphing, basically like a mild acid trip. This is not normal, its like HPPD on hyperdrive. I remember i was driving, and as cars passed infront of me, it looked like they were going the speed of sound and there was air flaring off the back of the cars, and it was like that for every car. My memory has gone to SHIT, i was trying to produce (music, thats my hobby), and i couldnt remember how to do jack shit. Ive also seen some of the after effects from the day before when i rolled, including that i left my wallet in the mall (thankfully the lost and found had it), and the dime bag i somehow left in my parents room (i still dont know if they found it, if they did im fucked). Also my balance and general sense of ability to control my body has gone to shit too, if i look up i get dizzy and thrown off balance.
In summary, heres a few ideas i have about what happened. I know MDMA increases serotonin release, and since ive been bipolar/depressed for a while, i might just not have any left, or my sensors could be burned out already (which would be terrible). I havent had any true profound euphoria in a while now that i think of it. This is also possible because it seems i got every effect of MDMA except euphoria. Mind you that i never really use drugs that use serotonin, the only drugs ive ever used a lot are DXM and weed. Another idea is that the weed might have killed the rest of my trip, i dont think this is likely though because with weed nowadays i have no anxiety and i feel really good, actually i think the MDMA killed the weed high. The fact that the MDMA killed my energy level is another weird sign. The only medication i take is 100mg of lamictal daily, which they say has no interaction with MDMA. I should also note that im in a manic episode i think, honestly i dont know anymore i dont even know if im bipolar anymore, i think the lamictal effectively eliminated it. The obvious other possibility is that it wasnt MDMA/pure, and the reason i doubt that is 1. it was from a very trusted seller who has never been snakey like that before, 2. in my area its common enough that people dont take advantage of those who seek it strongly by selling fake stuff, because its common already, 3. Because it came in crystal form, and looked pretty clear but not entirely, wasnt off color at all, and was tough and hard to crush, unlike meth which is flakey. Ultimately, i think i just might have some weird inability to do MDMA, maybe the set was wrong since i had a good time in public but not at home (then again i actually started getting anxious and not feel-goody in the mall, even well after i dropped the candle). Ultimately i just wasnt feeling it, i think it might be biological, but also i have a pretty analytical/logical mind, which sometimes i think makes me think my way out of just relaxing and experiencing things, but i really think that MDMA is usually strong enough to overcome that, as most drugs that make you feel good (opiates, DXM, weed, shrooms even) have all done that for me.
Lastly, would you guys recommend i try it again, on a day where i already feel energetic and hyper, or perhaps when im out at night somewhere social with other rollers (club, concert, etc.)? Personally, its hard for me not to try again since i have a good amount of a good drug in my possession, but i think logically i shouldnt try it. Also, would you guys recommend i still candyflip?
So i woke up this morning (the next day), feeling just as disinterested as before. Mind you, ive had issues with depression (now im diagnosed bipolar), and even now in the afternoon i feel the same as this morning, a little better. I felt like i actually often do, fatigued, disinterested, going through the motions, lucky i had no obligations today, i hung out with a friend for about 6 hours and it was cool, i wasnt REALLY depressed but to me after being "depressed" for about 2 years straight, it was nothing to me (yea im a champ). One thing thats been bugging me though, is that since ive woken up, ive been wayyyy out of my mind. I do suffer from a shitload of mental issues, including HPPD, some weird somatosensory disorder that involves demon attacks, derealization, personality disorders, etc. But today was something new, i felt completely dissociated, probably the most ive felt for a whole day, my perception is really weird (i cant explain it really, but my eyes are in super focus mode, except everything is blurry, my vision randomly starts shimmering, im still getting tracers, and things are morphing, basically like a mild acid trip. This is not normal, its like HPPD on hyperdrive. I remember i was driving, and as cars passed infront of me, it looked like they were going the speed of sound and there was air flaring off the back of the cars, and it was like that for every car. My memory has gone to SHIT, i was trying to produce (music, thats my hobby), and i couldnt remember how to do jack shit. Ive also seen some of the after effects from the day before when i rolled, including that i left my wallet in the mall (thankfully the lost and found had it), and the dime bag i somehow left in my parents room (i still dont know if they found it, if they did im fucked). Also my balance and general sense of ability to control my body has gone to shit too, if i look up i get dizzy and thrown off balance.
In summary, heres a few ideas i have about what happened. I know MDMA increases serotonin release, and since ive been bipolar/depressed for a while, i might just not have any left, or my sensors could be burned out already (which would be terrible). I havent had any true profound euphoria in a while now that i think of it. This is also possible because it seems i got every effect of MDMA except euphoria. Mind you that i never really use drugs that use serotonin, the only drugs ive ever used a lot are DXM and weed. Another idea is that the weed might have killed the rest of my trip, i dont think this is likely though because with weed nowadays i have no anxiety and i feel really good, actually i think the MDMA killed the weed high. The fact that the MDMA killed my energy level is another weird sign. The only medication i take is 100mg of lamictal daily, which they say has no interaction with MDMA. I should also note that im in a manic episode i think, honestly i dont know anymore i dont even know if im bipolar anymore, i think the lamictal effectively eliminated it. The obvious other possibility is that it wasnt MDMA/pure, and the reason i doubt that is 1. it was from a very trusted seller who has never been snakey like that before, 2. in my area its common enough that people dont take advantage of those who seek it strongly by selling fake stuff, because its common already, 3. Because it came in crystal form, and looked pretty clear but not entirely, wasnt off color at all, and was tough and hard to crush, unlike meth which is flakey. Ultimately, i think i just might have some weird inability to do MDMA, maybe the set was wrong since i had a good time in public but not at home (then again i actually started getting anxious and not feel-goody in the mall, even well after i dropped the candle). Ultimately i just wasnt feeling it, i think it might be biological, but also i have a pretty analytical/logical mind, which sometimes i think makes me think my way out of just relaxing and experiencing things, but i really think that MDMA is usually strong enough to overcome that, as most drugs that make you feel good (opiates, DXM, weed, shrooms even) have all done that for me.
Lastly, would you guys recommend i try it again, on a day where i already feel energetic and hyper, or perhaps when im out at night somewhere social with other rollers (club, concert, etc.)? Personally, its hard for me not to try again since i have a good amount of a good drug in my possession, but i think logically i shouldnt try it. Also, would you guys recommend i still candyflip?
