Generic84
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2013
- Messages
- 130
I was diagnosed Schizoaffective/PTSD in early 2009. Since then the diagnosis has changed a few times, from Schizoaffective Depressive Type, to Schizoaffective Bipolar type and I believe is now sometimes listed as Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I have mainly just used Weed, Kratom, Alcohol and occasionally Vicodin since then. I was able to smoke weed for a while fine after the diagnosis and even had a Medical card in California when I lived there. Then in late 2011 after about 8 months of heavy Cannabis, Hash and Hash Oil use I spun out and started having real paranoid delusions. Real crazy delusions about the boarding house I was staying at. There were some shady people there, I also hadn't been on medication for almost a year.
Fast forward to 2013, I was living back in my home state. I tried going off medication and was alright until I decided to get stoned. Then I started having weird delusions again, it seemed to actually subside after I had a bit of a tolerance to Cannabis. So I was stoned a decent amount of the time from about July to January 2014. In late December 2013 my dealer was talking about Molly and I had read that MDMA could help with PTSD/past trauma. I ended up buying a capsule and a half I believe of Molly, which I stupidly didn't test.
The first dose I had not gotten much sleep, I had waited about four days since I gave the money. Finally when I was about to go to sleep for the night, I was able to get the Molly. I had researched about not over hydrating, if I was going to have any alcohol to keep it to one or two beers. To have Gatorade around if I overhydrated. I didn't use Vitamin C prior or during the first dose. I didn't have a scale so I had to estimate the dose, which I thought was around 150 mg.
As soon as the effects kicked in, it seemed like a more intense coke buzz. Almost too intense, I felt like I was way too buzzed. I didn't freak out or anything, but I made another poor choice which was redosing later in the night. I can't even remember the rest of the experience really, just the next day crashing worse than I had on any drug previously. Wicked depression, which I am going to assume was due to redosing.
I think it was almost two weeks later and I had one dose of Molly left. Before I dosed I took a decent amount of Vitamin C and had also read up how Cannabis might help counteract the neurotoxic effects of MDMA. I ended up actually having a pretty good time. I dosed and then after it kicked in got more stoned than normal for me back then, which ended up being like an Eighth of Weed. It was probably the most euphoric high I have had to date.
I don't remember exactly when, but maybe sometime in the next week I started kind of freaking out. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with the Molly or whatever it could have been cut with. I was under a decent amount of stress, dealing with my mental problems and also a borderline relative that was causing my a lot of grief. I don't know what happened I started feeling like I was almost having seizures or something, I just felt horrible. I even went to the ER, but they didn't think anything was wrong.
Sorry if this post has been too long, I have since also been diagnosed with having Hypothyroidisim and am on Levothyroxine for it as well as 5 mg Abilify for my mental illness. I currently know of someone that has MDMA that I know is tested as such and is free from adulterants. I know I have a mental illness, but it is somewhat mild. I am currently going to college and doing fairly well. Schizoaffective is considered to have a better prognosis than Schizophrenia and not quite as good a prognosis as Bipolar disorder.
I have read that there have been small studies using MDMA for Schizophrenia with positive results. I was wondering if there is someone else with a similar MI that has used MDMA. I know no one could answer this definitively, but could have my delayed adverse reaction previously had less to do with Schizoaffective/PDNOS and more to do with something that it was cut with? Could it have actually been MDA and not MDMA? Does anyone know if Hypothyroidism could have caused a reaction also?
I just trying to weigh the positives against the negatives. I know a lot of people will immediately tell me not to use MDMA with a mental illness. There have been positive studies though and some on these boards have said they think it would actually be safer mentally than something like Cannabis or Mushrooms. Thanks in advance for the help.
Fast forward to 2013, I was living back in my home state. I tried going off medication and was alright until I decided to get stoned. Then I started having weird delusions again, it seemed to actually subside after I had a bit of a tolerance to Cannabis. So I was stoned a decent amount of the time from about July to January 2014. In late December 2013 my dealer was talking about Molly and I had read that MDMA could help with PTSD/past trauma. I ended up buying a capsule and a half I believe of Molly, which I stupidly didn't test.
The first dose I had not gotten much sleep, I had waited about four days since I gave the money. Finally when I was about to go to sleep for the night, I was able to get the Molly. I had researched about not over hydrating, if I was going to have any alcohol to keep it to one or two beers. To have Gatorade around if I overhydrated. I didn't use Vitamin C prior or during the first dose. I didn't have a scale so I had to estimate the dose, which I thought was around 150 mg.
As soon as the effects kicked in, it seemed like a more intense coke buzz. Almost too intense, I felt like I was way too buzzed. I didn't freak out or anything, but I made another poor choice which was redosing later in the night. I can't even remember the rest of the experience really, just the next day crashing worse than I had on any drug previously. Wicked depression, which I am going to assume was due to redosing.
I think it was almost two weeks later and I had one dose of Molly left. Before I dosed I took a decent amount of Vitamin C and had also read up how Cannabis might help counteract the neurotoxic effects of MDMA. I ended up actually having a pretty good time. I dosed and then after it kicked in got more stoned than normal for me back then, which ended up being like an Eighth of Weed. It was probably the most euphoric high I have had to date.
I don't remember exactly when, but maybe sometime in the next week I started kind of freaking out. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with the Molly or whatever it could have been cut with. I was under a decent amount of stress, dealing with my mental problems and also a borderline relative that was causing my a lot of grief. I don't know what happened I started feeling like I was almost having seizures or something, I just felt horrible. I even went to the ER, but they didn't think anything was wrong.
Sorry if this post has been too long, I have since also been diagnosed with having Hypothyroidisim and am on Levothyroxine for it as well as 5 mg Abilify for my mental illness. I currently know of someone that has MDMA that I know is tested as such and is free from adulterants. I know I have a mental illness, but it is somewhat mild. I am currently going to college and doing fairly well. Schizoaffective is considered to have a better prognosis than Schizophrenia and not quite as good a prognosis as Bipolar disorder.
I have read that there have been small studies using MDMA for Schizophrenia with positive results. I was wondering if there is someone else with a similar MI that has used MDMA. I know no one could answer this definitively, but could have my delayed adverse reaction previously had less to do with Schizoaffective/PDNOS and more to do with something that it was cut with? Could it have actually been MDA and not MDMA? Does anyone know if Hypothyroidism could have caused a reaction also?
I just trying to weigh the positives against the negatives. I know a lot of people will immediately tell me not to use MDMA with a mental illness. There have been positive studies though and some on these boards have said they think it would actually be safer mentally than something like Cannabis or Mushrooms. Thanks in advance for the help.
