A
adhdguy
Guest
I have had serious depression for around fifteen years now, and recently I looked into ADHD, which according to diagnosis guidelines, I have a severe case of. For a time I even was homeless and got lucky that someone offered help to me. If not that, I'd probably either be dead or still homeless.
That person also helped me to get some work for awhile, but soon I had to go because I was unable to function properly.I found out that I cannot get diagnosed with ADHD as an adult outside of my homecountry (and I'm not planning to go back there, nor do I speak the language of the country I'd be residing in) and I do not have so much interested in antidepressants and zero interest in therapy (not going to tell a stranger my private things - I'll wait for a girlfriend to do that with or keep it to myself - nothing has nor will convince me otherwise).
The symptoms that I want to get rid of are these:
[*]Lack of motivation for anything, apathy and sadness on most days - usually I go on random chats online to distract myself
[*]Inability to focus (I start yawning as soon as I sit down, start reading, have to listen for longer, etc.)
[*]Feeling very low on energy most days (or hyper focused and more energetic than anybody else if I'm excited, which happens for a couple of days a year or so if I'm lucky)
[*]Inability to fall asleep unless i fall asleep immediately after laying down (crashing)The main things is motivation and inability to focus, as I believe the low energy comes from them, as well as a lot of other things that basically make me incapable of doing anything and functioning in the society.Medication I have tried (all of it was legal at the place where I used it, by the way, minus the ADHD meds - it was a random person who offered it to me):
[*]Weed can help me sometimes, but usually it just helps with the bad feelings, but doesn't give any motivation or energy. I can enter the hyper focus mode for more things though, and I like being in that state
[*]Modvigil (200mg) made me a bit more able to focus, slightly more motivated and energetic, but a couple of hours later the motivation was gone and just a higher level of energy remained.
[*]Low dose of prescription ADHD meds from someone made me able to function very well, but it's prescription meds, so...
[*]Psychedelics made me feel more uplifted for a day or two after the use, and perhaps left me feeling slightly better for a few more days after.
What can I try that might help and doesn't cost too much? Since I do not have much savings and I need to start renting an apartment, nor am I able to function to make money (evidently - I lived outside and was kicked out even from an easy job by who I consider a friend who just couldn't deal with me being unable to focus on work and just getting sleepy instead of showing excitement).Feel free to ask questions, but expect long answers!
That person also helped me to get some work for awhile, but soon I had to go because I was unable to function properly.I found out that I cannot get diagnosed with ADHD as an adult outside of my homecountry (and I'm not planning to go back there, nor do I speak the language of the country I'd be residing in) and I do not have so much interested in antidepressants and zero interest in therapy (not going to tell a stranger my private things - I'll wait for a girlfriend to do that with or keep it to myself - nothing has nor will convince me otherwise).
The symptoms that I want to get rid of are these:
[*]Lack of motivation for anything, apathy and sadness on most days - usually I go on random chats online to distract myself
[*]Inability to focus (I start yawning as soon as I sit down, start reading, have to listen for longer, etc.)
[*]Feeling very low on energy most days (or hyper focused and more energetic than anybody else if I'm excited, which happens for a couple of days a year or so if I'm lucky)
[*]Inability to fall asleep unless i fall asleep immediately after laying down (crashing)The main things is motivation and inability to focus, as I believe the low energy comes from them, as well as a lot of other things that basically make me incapable of doing anything and functioning in the society.Medication I have tried (all of it was legal at the place where I used it, by the way, minus the ADHD meds - it was a random person who offered it to me):
[*]Weed can help me sometimes, but usually it just helps with the bad feelings, but doesn't give any motivation or energy. I can enter the hyper focus mode for more things though, and I like being in that state
[*]Modvigil (200mg) made me a bit more able to focus, slightly more motivated and energetic, but a couple of hours later the motivation was gone and just a higher level of energy remained.
[*]Low dose of prescription ADHD meds from someone made me able to function very well, but it's prescription meds, so...
[*]Psychedelics made me feel more uplifted for a day or two after the use, and perhaps left me feeling slightly better for a few more days after.
What can I try that might help and doesn't cost too much? Since I do not have much savings and I need to start renting an apartment, nor am I able to function to make money (evidently - I lived outside and was kicked out even from an easy job by who I consider a friend who just couldn't deal with me being unable to focus on work and just getting sleepy instead of showing excitement).Feel free to ask questions, but expect long answers!
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