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Man attempted sex with ATM, picnic table at bar

LogicSoDeveloped

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2010
Messages
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MURFREESBORO — A man was arrested Friday night after he tried to have sex with an ATM and a picnic table at a local bar, according to an arrest report from the Murfreesboro Police Department.

Lonnie J. Hutton, 49, was charged with public intoxication around 9:30 Friday night following an incident, Officer Michael Rickard reported.

"Mr. Hutton entered the bar and walked to the ATM. Once at the ATM, Mr. Hutton pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals, Mr. Hutton then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM," Rickard said.

The suspect then walked around the bar wearing no pants while he thrust his hips in the air, witnesses told the officer.

Bar staff then escorted Hutton outside, Rickard said.

"Once outside Mr. Hutton again exposed himself and (attempted to) engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table," Rickard said.

The officer said Hutton appeared intoxicated and smelled of alcohol.

Hutton was transported to the Rutherford County Adult Detention Center where he is being held on $250 bond. He is scheduled to appear July 1 in General Sessions Court.

source: http://www.tennessean.com/story/new...-table-murfreesboro-bar/9293507/?sf26352268=1
 
What hole would you put it in at an ATM? Unless he has a floppy disk dick.

And a wooden picnic table? That's just asking for some bad splinters.
 
I have gotten black out drunk before but I have yet to attempt sex with an ATM machine nor a wooden table. Guess there's always next time.
 
I saw a guy hitting on an air conditioner once. But it was a very hot rave so it seemed logical.
 
I have been very attracted to several ATMs, but never acted on it. Cameras, and all.

Wooden tables? Not my type.
 
Reminds me of that YouTube video where the chick is making out with a tree at a rave, then slaps it lol.
 
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