Hey guys, I'm on month 11 of my long term comedown. I'm at one of those stages where you feel like complete shit for about a week or so and have a few questions to ask. First off, I'd like to say that I have seen significant improvement until about a few days ago so I'm hopefully getting better. However, I've been kind of spiraling down into a pit of depression because of scumbag friends who honestly don't deserve my friendship. I don't mean to vent but friends who i've been so close to all my life have been messing around with my ex girlfriend who I still have immense feelings for and kind of make it really obvious, and simply brushing it off their shoulders knowing this. It sucks. A lot. But yeah, I'd just like to know what you guys have to say about the depression factor because it's a bit of a mix between actually hopeless "why the f*ck am I even sad?" depression and petty sadness. It's like a circle jerk of emotions. I've been having horrible unwanted "what if" thoughts about self mutilation and I hate them so much. Apparently this is a form of OCD, which I guess seems plausible because it's an anxiety disorder. But believe me, I have absolutely NO intentions of acting on them and it makes me want to strap myself into a straitjacket. I was wondering if anybody has gone through this and conquered it. Oh yeah and I have been drinking very often lately because it takes my mind off of the anxiety when I'm out with friends, especially since i'm on a break from university for the summer. I don't drink alone or anything. Do you guys think this is me coming close to alcoholism or is it normal? I mean I'm 19 and it seems like it's social norm. Let me know what he guys think.