LSD USE IN ADOLESCENCE

[Lazurus]

I'll preface with , I'm a 23 year old male , who was heavily into mostly LSD ,but also other psychedelics starting at the age of 15 . I drank a vial of ~60-70 drops February 22nd 2016 each drop was 100ug, at age 17 and nothing has ever been the same since point blank period. I would wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and completely forget my name and who I was , for months after . I mean I would look in the mirror and think that I was looking at a stranger only to realize I'm looking at myself , followed with dejavu loops , I would try my best to go about my day . It felt like every day restarted exactly the same . Life kind of took control and I was distracted from 18-23 with the birth of my beautiful daughter and then girlfriend (now wife) , who kept me busy and happy . I will admit I started a fairly bad drinking habit in those years so I could get to sleep at a decent time to wake up at 4:30 am to go frame houses , as silly as it sounds I still will never take a Benadryl or whatever to help me sleep or anything pill form really completely against medications. I now only drink occasionally. I'm a functional human with what I feel is the most far out as possible mind that will still allow me to be somewhat a normal functioning member of society whatever that means . Recently I have developed floaters in my right eye that are no longer ignorable and really REALLY fucking with me . Is there anyone on this website who have done high doses close to this and what is your everyday life like . I feel super alone in this space and I must say , I love my life and the outlook or brain that LSD has given me , prior to the huge dose , I had eaten tabs and liquid on candies probably close to 30 times . I was young and dumb and not thinking about any long term consequences ,anyways , love and light

 

[Snafu in the Void]

First, Welcome to BL.

I'm curious, but don't mean to pry. Did this 60-70 dose puddle trip result in a visit to the psych ward or other intensive psychiatric treatment? I'm glad you were otherwise able to seemingly continue an otherwise normal life.

I had my own mental break from psychedelics, although it was from heavy use spread out over a period of 5 months and not a super massive single trip. I relate to you on the not wanting to put things like benadryl into your body, I can't stand that stuff, although that probably has more to do with overdosing on that drug 2 times when I was a teenager.

My life since the break has been different in a negative way, although that's really mostly because I keep avoiding psychiatric help... I guess. I still function at a very basic level, and no longer take medications. I am in my early/mid 30s now, and the mental break happened 4-5 years ago.

As for the floaters in your eye, the fact that they are specifically in your right eye only makes me think it may be more physical more than mental (?). Just a guess. I've had floaters and visual fuzz my entire life even before drugs. Can you explain these floaters a bit more? There may be an issue with your eye.

Did you ever have HPPD or lasting hallucinations?

You're definitely not alone and there are many people on this website with similar stories.

 

[Phobos]

@Lazurus Are you using any other drug other than alcohol? Like weed, caffeine, nicotine, etc?

 

[Lazurus]

First, Welcome to BL.

I'm curious, but don't mean to pry. Did this 60-70 dose puddle trip result in a visit to the psych ward or other intensive psychiatric treatment? I'm glad you were otherwise able to seemingly continue an otherwise normal life.

I had my own mental break from psychedelics, although it was from heavy use spread out over a period of 5 months and not a super massive single trip. I relate to you on the not wanting to put things like benadryl into your body, I can't stand that stuff, although that probably has more to do with overdosing on that drug 2 times when I was a teenager.

My life since the break has been different in a negative way, although that's really mostly because I keep avoiding psychiatric help... I guess. I still function at a very basic level, and no longer take medications. I am in my early/mid 30s now, and the mental break happened 4-5 years ago.

As for the floaters in your eye, the fact that they are specifically in your right eye only makes me think it may be more physical more than mental (?). Just a guess. I've had floaters and visual fuzz my entire life even before drugs. Can you explain these floaters a bit more? There may be an issue with your eye.

Did you ever have HPPD or lasting hallucinations?

You're definitely not alone and there are many people on this website with similar stories.

No , about 2 hours in , my friend and his girlfriend were asking me repeatedly if I wanted to go to the hospital and in a moment of clarity I said that I know it's super clean lsd and that me physically dying shouldn't be a problem , died what felt like millions of times that night but not physically , if you know what I mean haha. It was not a normal life at all until maybe the birth of my daughter that seriously forced me to get my shit together ! Anyway yes I still have hppd , not like actual objects but the floor stretches and walls move in and out when I breathe , when I look at stuff way in the distance it feels like I'm looking into eternity if that makes any sense , that stuff bothered me at first but I'm used to it now .

The floaters in my eye are a bunch of black lines/dots some days they are worse than others for sure . Some days it's like a clear bunching of clear little worm like things with a black outline really hard to describe.

 

[Lazurus]

I've

@Lazurus Are you using any other drug other than alcohol? Like weed, caffeine, nicotine, et

@Lazurus Are you using any other drug other than alcohol? Like weed, caffeine, nicotine, etc?

I drink coffee 1-2 cups a day , smoke cigarettes a pack between me and my lady every 2 days , last I have been laying off the weed lately because it's been causing me super introspective anxiety similar to fckn LSD headspace hahaha Jesus .

 

[Snafu in the Void]

weed lately because it's been causing me super introspective anxiety similar to fckn LSD headspace hahaha Jesus .

Yeah weed effects me differently ever since my psychedelic 'plane crash'.

Beyond the anxiety which I can usually deal with, it makes me wayyy too introspective with negative thought loops and it's just not enjoyable like it used to be.

I still vape here and there, baby hits, but that's it.

 

[Phobos]

I drink coffee 1-2 cups a day , smoke cigarettes a pack between me and my lady every 2 days , last I have been laying off the weed lately because it's been causing me super introspective anxiety similar to fckn LSD headspace hahaha Jesus .

You definitely should quit weed for a month or 2 and see if you get better.
All people that I know that had anxiety after using psychedelics or stims eventually quit the weed and said it was negatively affecting them.

 

[Lazurus]

Yeah weed effects me differently ever since my psychedelic 'plane crash'.

Beyond the anxiety which I can usually deal with, it makes me wayyy too introspective with negative thought loops and it's just not enjoyable like it used to be.

I still vape here and there, baby hits, but that's it.

Snafu , what psychedelics were you experimenting with ? I should include that yes , like you , for maybe 6 months to a year before the big one ,I was frequently doing LSD and DMT. Not always while on lsd . More like between LSD trips I would be breaking through on DMT several times between LSD experiences . Loved listening to Terrence McKenna he was my inspiration . God sometimes when I think back I think what in the actual fuck was I thinking tbh ...

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Snafu , what psychedelics were you experimenting with ?

Mostly LSD, DMT and psilocybin (which I basically had unlimited personal amounts of, at the time, was selling all 3). Also sporadically 2-CB and a couple unknown tryptamines/phenethylamines I never got tested but took anyways.

At one point I was smoking DMT 3x per day in a very casual way...

too much man... too much (especially combined with the fact I was also an alcoholic and on various other drugs, too). Eventually, combined with extreme stress and quite extreme sleep deprivation, my mind just broke.

 

[Lazurus]

You definitely should quit weed for a month or 2 and see if you get better.
All people that I know that had anxiety after using psychedelics or stims eventually quit the weed and said it was negatively affecting them.

Yeah I think you are right , I don't like the increase in heart rate and anxiety, I have a heart rate monitor and it jumps like 30 beats a minute when I smoke weed. It did that immediately after the big fry , I quit for a few months after and up until now I've been an everyday smoker so yeah , maybe gotta quit weed again . Still don't know how that would fuck with my eye

 

[Snafu in the Void]

You definitely should quit weed for a month or 2 and see if you get better.
All people that I know that had anxiety after using psychedelics or stims eventually quit the weed and said it was negatively affecting them.

I need to heed this advice myself.

I have, somewhat, I don't smoke every day and when I do it's only small baby hits, only when I drink... which I also need to quit.

But yeah, it's like 80% negative effects for me now...

I don't know why I hold on to it...

stubborn addict mind, I guess

 

[Lazurus]

Mostly LSD, DMT and psilocybin (which I basically had unlimited personal amounts of, at the time, was selling all 3). Also sporadically 2-CB and a couple unknown tryptamines/phenethylamines I never got tested but took anyways.

At one point I was smoking DMT 3x per day in a very casual way...

too much man... too much (especially combined with the fact I was also an alcoholic and on various other drugs, too). Eventually, combined with extreme stress and quite extreme sleep deprivation, my mind just broke.

Geez man but yeah DMT gets insane and it fuckin calls you back . I would smell DMT randomly all the time .I had a full blown relationship with her , what I called Dianna .

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Geez man but yeah DMT gets insane and it fuckin calls you back . I would smell DMT randomly all the time .I had a full blown relationship with her , what I called Dianna .

haha yeah man, I randomly smelled it everywhere for months after I stopped using it

I would bite into a hamburger and taste DMT and be like WTF????

for me it got to the point where the entities started to become rude towards me, instead of jovial.

it was "why the fuck are you here again? We told you not to come back" instead of "we're glad to see you"

 

[Phobos]

Yeah I think you are right , I don't like the increase in heart rate and anxiety, I have a heart rate monitor and it jumps like 30 beats a minute when I smoke weed. It did that immediately after the big fry , I quit for a few months after and up until now I've been an everyday smoker so yeah , maybe gotta quit weed again . Still don't know how that would fuck with my eye

Not sure if it would help with your eye, but being anxious everyday all day isn't ideal, even though you've been able to manage so far.
If quitting weed reduces your anxiety, it could help you cut down on the booze as well.

 

[Lazurus]

I need to heed this advice myself.

I have, somewhat, I don't smoke every day and when I do it's only small baby hits, only when I drink... which I also need to quit.

But yeah, it's like 80% negative effects for me now...

I don't know why I hold on to it...

stubborn addict mind, I guess

For me , I will get too baked and say fuck this I used to love weed but it just makes me anxious and uncomfortable, I'm quitting! then the next night comes around after a long day and I think , I don't mind a little trippiness I'm down to smoke some hopefully it'll get me off to bed and 1 hour later go god damnit I'm fuckin high as fuck again reflecting on my life why can't I just enjoy this tell myself I'm quitting again / cycle repeats

 

[Phobos]

I need to heed this advice myself.

I have, somewhat, I don't smoke every day and when I do it's only small baby hits, only when I drink... which I also need to quit.

But yeah, it's like 80% negative effects for me now...

I don't know why I hold on to it...

stubborn addict mind, I guess

I've seen several people procrastinate quitting weed while thinking it may have been causing some problems.
My theory is that side effects caused by Cannabis slowly creep on you so it's not easy to make an instinctive connection between any negative side and weed use, even though you may rationally speculate there is a good chance and have some objective signs like heart rate increase upon smoking, paranoid thoughts increase upon smoking etc.
The fact that nobody dies from weed overdose and that it's not toxic like some other drugs also probably contribute to users downplaying how much it can negatively affect one's quality of life.

 

[Lazurus]

@Phobos @Snafu in the Void I appreciate you fine humans sharing your thoughts . Im gonna quit weed and see if that helps my eye. One more odd thing , about a year after I puddled myself , I took 5gs of cubensis knowing/thinking it might be a horrible idea . Absolutely nothing happened other than purging , which is normal for me on mushrooms . My mental state didn't change a single bit. I haven't touched any psychs since then .

 

[Phobos]

@Phobos @Snafu in the Void I appreciate you fine humans sharing your thoughts . Im gonna quit weed and see if that helps my eye. One more odd thing , about a year after I puddled myself , I took 5gs of cubensis knowing/thinking it might be a horrible idea . Absolutely nothing happened other than purging , which is normal for me on mushrooms . My mental state didn't change a single bit. I haven't touched any psychs since then .

You didn't even get some low level visuals? Like brighter lights, more contrast, vivid colours?

And in regards to eye floaters, you say they're black.
It's likely that they are totally unrelated to your past LSD psychedelic use/abuse, it is a symptom of physical issues in your eyes that are more common if you are over 50.
Since you are much younger there might be some other pathology that has caused the floaters, could be trauma to the eyes, could be diabetes....
Maybe get checked by an Ophthalmologist?

 

[lonelyDude]

Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

only went as far as 20 tabs in one go used to take it every day for a couple of years.

took years and as the MDMA has done its left its mark.

I used to get fire and pink jump off buildings if the light was right.

I once walked out of my hard chi gong class walked down victoria road in melbourne (yep smack street) and was walking besides a set of stairs that

went down into the ground next to the side walk.

I was one minute walking on the side walk then the next I thought I was walking down the stairs yet I was not.

then as I get HPPD the world flipped like sky down earth up I fall to the ground and the ripples through reality start to happen.

I find over time this lessened but im talking nearly 15 years ago.

I found I suffered this most under massive stress or when I was very very relaxed hence the hard chi gong doing it (we had a soft chi gong cool down which was very relaxing)

hold in there if you are keeping reality then theres a good chance it will get better but it takes fucking ages.

there are people though who just go out there and dont come back but this does not seem to be the case for you as your holding down a job

and have a life.

Phobos could be right though black floaters sounds like some kind of eye problem.

 

[Neuroborean]

At one point I was smoking DMT 3x per day in a very casual way...

You are made of other stuff, I couldn't do that even if I try, I would go totally crazy